Jennifer - posted on 07/26/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )
I have a 17 year old daughter from my first husband. He lives in a different state. Our agreement has always been that my daughter lives with me and my new H during the school year, and then spends the summers with exH, her dad. This year, she asked if she could live with her dad and try school there for her junior year of high school.
We have always had a really good, open relationship. She's dated a few guys, who her stepdad and I have met and approved of. She has never done anything that would make me not trust her. So this past weekend was just a shock to me.
She has been dating this 19 year old boy for the past 6 months. We've all met him, had invited him to dinner several times at our house, met his parents, etc. I've talked to both of them about the rules in the house (when there are no parents at home, she's not allowed to have bf over, etc), and about getting too serious. I tell them all the time when they go out on dates to "behave", and both of them know what that means.
Last weekend, I caught her in a lie about spending the night at her girlfriend's house, when she really spent the night at her bf's apartment. It took several attempts to get her to tell the truth. I told her that lying is something that is not to be tolerated and she went off and got mad at me. She told me things that were so hurtful and told me not to contact her ever again after she leaves. She called her dad the next day and now her dad is scrambling to get her to come live with him. She's supposed to be leaving this Saturday. (I've told her dad what happened, and he's supposed to follow through with the punishments, but we'll see.)
I told her that I will respect her wishes to not contact her, and that I will only speak to her when she apologizes for lying to me. We haven't spoken in 4 days, and it's killing me. She hasn't tried to apologize at all. I know she's just acting like a spoiled brat and I know she doesn't mean what she said before. She's leaving in less than 2 days and I don't know if I should just man up and be the one to initiate contact again or if I should just let her be. I know we'll eventually make up, but should I try to do this before she leaves?
Sorry this is so long... and this is only the condensed version of it. :(