Gabrielle - posted on 08/06/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )
So I have a teenage step son who comes to visit very sporadically. He is almost 14 now and his favorite pass time is to just cause trouble and eat. If he is not busy picking at the 4 younger kids then you will find him in the kitchen. Now other than the obvious problems with him disrupting the entire house hold with his bad behavior he is also stealing food from the kitchen and packing it up in his bag to take back to his mothers. Before school let out last year I had picked up a number of snacks when I found a sale that were for kids to take to school to eat during their break time. At this point my 3 step sons were staying with us full time because of their mother trying to kill herself. I told them all that they could pick any snack they wanted to take to school with them and every morning I would be up while they were getting ready for school and even remind them to "grab a snack" Well he took this to the extreme as usual and thought that he should get one of each snack and be able to do things like eat a brownie for breakfast along with 2 or 3 snacks and then pack up a bunch of others to eat during the day. He was told no this wasn't going to be happening and that 1 snack was enough for him when he would be eating plenty of meals that day as well. So while they were gone to school I was collecting laundry and such and found a bag he had been hiding that was FULL of snacks for school. He was actually trying to pack them up so he could take them to his moms since he was going to be moving back in with her in the next few days ( thank you court system) I took all the snacks and asked his father to address the issue because he refuses to listen to me about anything. This made him very angry and he refused to come visit after that for quite awhile. Which honestly wasn't a problem for me since the house was much more peaceful and food wasn't flying out of here at an alarming rate.
Now he has decided he wants to visit again and its right back to the same old tricks except now they are getting worse. He is refusing to eat healthy "real" food. I make sure to make a very healthy dinner every night that includes meat and veg and he turns his nose up at it and even asks his dad to make him something else. His father wont do that and insists that he eat dinner. So he eats the smallest amount of food possible, I mean when the kids were babies they ate more than he is trying to eat and then when everyone is done starts bugging his dad about making something else to eat, even if there is still dinner left he doesn't want seconds he wants something sweet, for example a pb and j or a bag of popcorn which he does not want to share with anyone else. Just last night I got up to give the puppy some water and found that he had been in the kitchen while we were sleeping eating what was left of the desert I had made the night before because he didn't want to eat the lasagna and green beans that were for dinner. He snacks all day long on dry cereal, pretzels, and chocolate milk. He makes himself a single cup of lemon aid and puts three big scoops of sugar in it and when he makes chocolate milk there is a ton of fudge still in the bottom of the cup. I have tried hiding the foods that he doesn't need, but I feel like it is not fair to the kids in the house who will eat the good foods and should be allowed to have a treat sometimes. I feel like I am dealing with a small child who isn't old enough to know better, but he is old enough and he does know better. The really bad part is that he is rubbing off on the youngest brother who is also already going down the same road of being very overweight himself. The biggest problem is that their mother doesn't see anything wrong with it and they do live with her most of the time and now their dad is trying to say that their weight is not a problem either. (The oldest boy is maybe 5 feet tall and between 130 and 150 and the younger boy is 7 years old and so large that he managed to bust the rear end out of my oldest sons size 14 shorts last weekend by squeezing into them)
And don't even get me started on their bad behavior in every other aspect of life. They are so disrespectful that if I am sitting in the same room as them I will have to tell them 3 or 4 times to stop doing something and as soon as I step out of the room they are going to do it again. Usually it's that they are hitting kicking slapping pinching punching and picking at each other. They are very mean to my 2 boys who live with me full time to the point that my oldest son begs to go to his dads house every time they are over, and my poor younger son doesn't have anywhere to get away to so he is just stuck getting picked at constantly.
I really need some help and advice on what I can do to change these behavior problems and the problem with the oldest refusing to eat anything that isn't a junk food.