Need new technique for showing the importance of being responsible -

Beverly - posted on 09/20/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

2

7

I am having trouble getting my 16 year old daughter to show responsibility for her actions. As any teen she feels everything should revolve around her. I cant even trust her to watch her 6 year old brother two evenings a week while I am at work. I have had to bring in a babysitter to just make sure dinner gets made and they are ready for school the next day. She is, of course, all about attention and the boys. I have tried every method I know to get through to her and am now at a loss. We can talk, she will listen, the next day it is as if the conversation never happened. Total disregard of my authority and I am the only authority being a single mom who works full time. I am in need of some new methods and advice.

Last week I actually visited a friend for a few hours. My phone died while I was there. I didnt check it because at that time it just wasnt thought about. My mistake, I will be the first one to admit it. I had dinner laid out to cook, told her what was to be done until I got back. She took it upon herself to call everyone I knew and told them I just took off, I am never there, and there was no food in the house. She had people out looking for me. When I got home, my neighbor was here cooking dinner with her food she brought from her house. I was so embarrassed at the drama that took place. My daughter took one mistake of mine and totally used it to her advantage.

At this point, I am not about to give in. Events like the above example are common and this is how she gets out of responsibility. What am I to do now? I cannot give in to avoid confrontation.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms

2 Comments

View replies by

Angie - posted on 09/21/2010

2,621

0

It sounds like she may have never been expected to be responsible. It might be a little more difficult for you to help her with this now. Since she is old enough to watch her little brother but chooses not to, let her pay the babysitter. If she doesn't want to cook - let her order pizza and pay for it. I wouldn't pay her to do it, she needs to pitch in and help the family and you already pay her in food, shelter and clothing. Give her other responsibilities. In our home, our children do their own laundry at 9. They (a 17 year old boy, 12 and 9 year old girls) take turns washing dishes, vacuming the floors, and cleaning their bathroom. They have learned over the years that being part of a family means cooperation and mutual respect.

Sherry - posted on 09/21/2010

15

9

Do you pay your daughter for babysitting? My daughter is 14 and babysits her 3 yr old brother. She has been doing this for two years now. She watches him four nights a week. She keeps the living room clean, feeds him and makes sure stuff is picked up after him. If she has stuff going on outside of the house - ie movies, sleepovers etc we work it out and i will usually get a sitter for the baby but for the most part she is there. (she is only 14 so her life is not that busy yet!) I pay her because it makes her feel more responsible and appreciated. I dont give her much cuz i really cant afford a lot but i figure since i would have to normally pay any sitter $20 a night she should get something - i give her $10 a night - i save money and she makes money and is happy because of it!!
Sorry if this doesnt help. Quite honestly, maybe a really good cry would help you and if she happened to see it = it could work wonders!!! My mom did that with me - i totally changed my tune!!!