No compromise

Traci - posted on 06/03/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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We downsized our car last year and now when we travel as a family all 3 "kids" need to be in the backseat. We have my husbands 16 year old daughter who is 5'3" (no drivers ed yet) my 13 year old son 5'4" and getting taller daily and our 6 year old by law still needs a booster car seat. My husbands 16 year old has become a real "joy" to travel with when we have to go someplace as a family. First she could not sit with the car seat in the middle so both older kids could have a door seat it makes her "closterphobic" so she says. Now today she could not take turns riding in the middle cause she says she needs more hip room. I put my foot down today & my husband drove her in his car so she could have comfort at all times. I still can't believe he let her have control like that. Next step she would have demanded a front seat I don't think she should have that kind of control and the best compromise I see is both kids having a door seat but her comfort and hers only is important to her. Any advice???

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Kristin - posted on 06/04/2012

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I dont know what to say to that. I have 3 kids and drive a mini van as I like to have room for everyone to have comfort., I myself hate sitting in the middle of a backseat and I dont really blame your daughter for complaining. It is not comfortable and booster seats take upo a lot of room. My 16 year old has had to sit in the middle of 2 car seats and hes 6 ft tall so I had no choice but to upgrade into a bigger vehicle. Kids grow and need space aas well as adults do. However, if she is really complaining then maybe she should look into getting her licence and her own vehicle.

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Shawnn - posted on 06/05/2012

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Traci, I'm in the same type of area. We drive an Envoy, and a Suburban. The Envoy is only used for in town, or trips where only 4 are going. The suburban is for long trips and 5 or more passengers, simply for the comfort factor.

And, I do have to ask...Have you sat in the seating that you are forcing your kids to use? Do you realize how uncomfortable they are? Because even 15 minutes, if you are not comfortable, can be excruciating.

Don't get me wrong, I'm from the same type of family...stuff 15 into a vehicle built for 10, travel for 10-12 hours a day on a family trip...Partially the reason I drive vehicles that are large enough to accommodate everyone's comfort. (That, and the 4x4 for winter, that is)

But I'd recommend that you "walk a mile" or, in this case, ride a mile in the back seat. With booster, with other teen, with both front seats occupied. See how long you really feel comfortable, and then re-assess the situation. I've noticed that some adults assume that, because kids are kids, they don't know what "comfort" means...but trust me, if they're uncomfortable for a long enough time, situations like this arise.

Just out of curiosity, what area are you in?

Traci - posted on 06/05/2012

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We don't typically go many places as a family mostly family get togethers or the movies s piano recital was the most recent. Mostly it is just me & the kids in the Escape but with gas still over $3 a gallon don't knoe many families that would want to take 2 cars. The fact we live in a country area some travel is needed to get places. Town about 10 min & bigger metro areas around us about 30 - 45 minutes. We are not talking about a cross country trip here just looking for a compromise knowing no one wants to be uncomfortable but those few times we are all together it needs to happen somehow.

Shawnn - posted on 06/05/2012

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Um, personal experience says that the middle seat in an Escape is the most uncomfortable seat in the car! And with 2 teens and a toddler, I seriously don't see how any ONE of them is comfortable, let alone all 3 of them, crammed into the back seat of a sport utility vehicle. I know that the same arrangement would not be OK in my Envoy, and it's wider than the escape by about 4 inches!

I regularly trade seating with my boys so that they can stretch their legs in the front! And I regularly sit in the back on long trips so that everyone has that same chance to stretch out a bit.

Personally, I'd have waited to "downsize" until you had at least one kid out of the house.

Just because there are 3 seat belts doesn't mean that 3 kids over the age of 4 will be comfortable. If you wanted 3 in a seat in a vehicle like that, you should look at a Suburban, or Escalade. We have 3 tiny, tiny women in my office (none larger than your 16 yo), and we can't fit 3 across in an Escape, either.

Mitzi - posted on 06/04/2012

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Well she is going to have to bare with it, until u can discuss with ur husband about getting a bigger size car with more space, if you guys can afford it. I have a medium size car with a car seat and it does take a little bit of space. GOOD LUCK!!!!!

Traci - posted on 06/04/2012

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We had a mini and down sized to a Ford Escape. These trips are a 1/2 hour to 45 minutes at most. She will start drivers ed in the fall but even then she will not drive her own vehicle to places we've been invited to as a family or family trips. I agree I grew up with 3 sisters and 3 brothers and we managed to get to GA or FL 17 hour trips just fine in station wagon. The back of our Escape sits 3 there are 2 ways of compromise when we travel as a family one is car seat in the middle or they take turns riding in the middle. Her comfort and hers only is what seems to matter.

Michelle - posted on 06/03/2012

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discuss this with your husband come up with a plan of action and stick to it tell her this is how it is going to be and she can shut up and get in the car

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