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NOT THE BILOGICAL FATHER/ SON

Sharon - posted on 08/25/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

9

21

GOD HELP ME!!!!
in our home almost everyday there's some form of yelling & screaming.
My partner of 12 yrs & my 14 yr old son don't seem to be getting along & they are both accusing each other of things they have done or said & most times i haven't seen or heard it happen, eg: got hame last night from the grocery store & asked my son if he has done his homework? heading to his room my partner asked him again, & the fight started, son accused my partner (whom he calls DAD ) of giving him the finger cause son had thrown his arms in the air. the race was on for my partner to get to his room & drag him by the collar or scruff of the shirt & shove him to a standing halt & tell him how wrong he is of LYING & ACCUSING him of things he hasn't done. This is not the 1st time this has happened.....(tears :( ) my son called him an A-HOLE, partner in his face again, then the two of us argue as i don't know who to believe, i'm sorry but sometimes i really think he lies to me too (partner). Our two daughters aged 11 & 9 interfere, the 11 yr old heard son calling him an F*&^$ W*&^%%$ so she told tales & growled Son, 9 yr old finds it sad this happens on a regular basis. we had a bit of councilling through a mutal friend of a friend whom was a soo called councilor??? she visited us at home & spoke only to our son & us.
I'm at a loss! Now I'm having dreams where i want to hit & hurt my partner so much!!! Our Son is not a bad kid, he cried so much i kinda felt for him, now i'm being accused of taking his side all the time, & he clearly tells our girls this. i could go on, would love to hear some feed back... PLEASE HELP!!! i think some undetected cameras wouldn't go astray in our home..

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3 Comments

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Kimberly - posted on 08/29/2009

6

6

Not so totally schocked to hear about this situation. I have a 13 year old son and he tries to push the boundries between me and my partner. I love my son but I do expect him to be respectful of the other adult in his life. Teenaqers will always push their limits, and unless there is clear abuse, they need to know where they stand. Don't ever discuss your feelinqs of parentinq around the child, because that qives them ammo, but do it when they are sleepinq or not around. You are dealinq with 2 males, and there is no difference between boy and man. You have a boy that wants to be a man, and a man that will not take s@%t from a boy. Please be the calm, reasonable voice and you will qet throuqh this. Best of luck.

Shelly - posted on 08/28/2009

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Sharon,

Follow your gut feeling it wont lie to you most of the time...Is there a reason you are starting to have douts about your partner??? And how dare him put your other two children in the middle of all of this...It sounds to me that your partner needs to grow up and quit competing with your son. As far as your son still needs to respect the fact that your partner is the adult in this situation and he does need to respect him. If one of my boys was to talk to my husband the way your son is talking to your partner they would find them selves part of the plaster in the wall...People only treat you in the manner you allow and it sounds like the both of you have allowed this behavior from your son. I under stand that our children get frustrated and needs to blow off steam they just need to be taught that thats not exceptable....I think you need to sit down and talk to your partner and tell him what you feel excepptable punishment and what is not and what language is exceptable and what isn't and if he wants to continue to act like a two year old then you have some decissions Good luck and let us know how it's going

Jenn - posted on 08/28/2009

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Wow, not a good situation at all, I feel for you. I think maybe you all need to sit down and talk and get to the root of all of the problems perhaps trying another councellor would help, family counceling maybe. Good look, I wish you all the best.

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