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OMG ! my 16 year old moved in!what do i do!

Kimberly - posted on 11/07/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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i just regained my parental rights of my 16 year old after 5 years! I have never parented a teen and i wasnt parented as a teen either. so i have NO IDEA what i am doing.When he wasnt in my care, and shortly after coming into my care, he has been caught drinking. at school at home. When he wasnt in my care, he was headed down the wrong path. Now he thinks he deserves a clean slate.but i can trust him to tell me the truth. I only have 2.5 years left to make a posative enfluence in his life. He and i also have ADHD. He has ODD with that. I joined this sight to hopefully get some idea of what to expect out of an average teen and maybe get some good feedback.

thanks so much

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4 Comments

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Victoria - posted on 11/12/2010

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Take it one day at a time. Give him plenty of love. If you need to seek professional help to help you get on the right track to help both of you guys. Sometimes us as parents need help also.

Melinda - posted on 11/11/2010

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Hi Kimberly....thouth I might share. I have a 14 year old son diagnosed with ODD and possibly ADHD who thinks "HE'S THE MAN" as well. He has always lived with me, but a negative influence (his father) has always been present. The best and first thing to do is to get the two of you into therapy, possibly individual and group. It is highly recommended that your son see a therapist who specializes in BEHAVIORAL therapy. Make sure you are comfortable with the therapist he will see because the 3 of you must work as a team. For your own personal help, I recommend that you read , "Your Defiant Teen: 10 Steps to resolve conflict and rebuild your relation" by Russell A. Barkley. Its an amazing book which is mainly to help and guide "YOU" in your relationship with your child. Love you and praying for you.

Ruth - posted on 11/09/2010

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I think a clean slate is a good start. You have to keep a close eye on any teenager. They all make mistakes and are learning to develop good judgement. Talk to him A LOT! Listen to him closely. Teenagers can be very fun to have around the house! Seriously! Not being sarcastic! As long as you give him a few chores and some priviledges and adore him and communicate with him you will do great. It also helps to ALWAYS assume that his side of the story is the truth until you actually catch him in a lie. I don't mean be naive,,,just assume the best of him. Enjoy these years with him!

Angie - posted on 11/08/2010

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Sit down and have an honest conversation about your expectations. Find out what he wants and tell him what you want. Some things are not negotiable - drinking, drugs, being out of the home overnight without your knowledge (or whatever YOU decide that should be). Get his ADHD and ODD treated so it is less difficult for him to abide by your rules. Then make the rules and consequences together. It will be your job to stick to them! Good luck, teens are difficult because they are changing and growing. We sit down with our teen at least monthly to evaluate ourselves. We have had to loosen some apron strings but he deserves to grow and learn and make mistakes while he's at home where he has a security net to catch him. Good luck, you'll do great!

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