Our fifteen and a half year old son has just started dating a senior.

LLandroo - posted on 09/09/2017 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My son will be sixteen in December and we just found out that he recently started dating a senior in his high school. She'll be eighteen in February. They met in band camp a few weeks ago, and he is smitten with her. This came as quite a shock to us, because he has always been shy around girls. We met this girl a few nights ago at a band meeting, and she seems nice, but she seems so mature and is very pretty, and my son, while handsome and smart, is still inexperienced and immature. My husband and I can't help but wonder why she would want to date someone two years younger, when she should be able to find an older boy at her maturity level. Anyway tonight my son left his phone on the kitchen counter when he went to bed. He knows that there is an open policy when it comes to phones in our home, even though he can be secretive and keeps it with him most of the time. I decided to have a look to see what we're dealing with. Well, the first photo I came across was of her posing in bra and panties, then there were several very provocative poses in short shorts and revealing tops. They have only been dating a few weeks! She also seems to have a troubled life, with a very dysfunctional home life....divorced parents, estranged from her troubled mother, etc. She mentioned that she suffers from depression and is seeing a therapist. There was also a discussion about her meeting him at his bus stop and driving him to school. Okay, this was all a bit much, considering my son showed zero interest in girls just a few short weeks ago and now we're dealing with a girlfriend with emotional issues and possibly sneaking around in her car. I just worry that she will push him into doing things that he isn't ready for. Also, she is leaning on him for emotional support and he is just figuring himself out, and is not mature enough to give her advice, at least advice that will actually help her. I don't like the idea that she's encouraging him to go behind our backs and sneak off to school in her car either. Any advice or thoughts would be helpful. Thanks.

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Sarah - posted on 09/10/2017

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Talk to your son. Did you have any sort of rules in place about dating, or whom he may on may not ride with in a car? If you have not been discussing these sorts of things you need to start. I'd confront him about the phone and I'd warn him about the dangers of sexting. If she is sending pictures, he may be as well. That this girl has depression would not be reason to end a friendship. Lots of girls struggle and see therapists; my own 18yo girl included. Opening up a frank discussion about relationships, safety, sex, knowing when to ask for help is critical. Even shy fellows can find a spark. What would you think if your near 18yo son met a near 16yo girl? They are less than two years apart and while she may seem mature, they obviously have some common interests.

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