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Shawnn - posted on 08/08/2012
Hmmm...some support you are. This girl has stability issues at home, is bipolar, and has other mentally related issues, your son seems to understand and is supportive, and you just want him to kick her to the curb because she's not (in your words) "suited for him, not smart and intellectual, and she's unstable"
What are you going to do when he decides that he DOES want to be in a solid relationship with her, not just "fuck friends" as you so quaintly put it? How non supportive will you be then?
Your son is an adult. He is perfectly capable of making his own relationship decisions, regardless of what you WANT him to do. Don't make the mistake of telling him that he's flat out wrong about this girl, unless you have some SERIOUS material to back up your statement. Just because you don't like her (That's what I'm getting anyway...you don't LIKE HER. She's NOT GOOD ENOUGH for your baby) is not enough reason for him to quit supporting her as she learns to cope with her many challenges.
You should wait, back off, and see if, perhaps, your perception of this young lady needs altering.
Angie - posted on 08/06/2012
Unfortunately, he's 19 and you cannot control who his friends or his girlfriends are for that matter. The most you can do, since he does live at home, is make the decision who you are comfortable with coming over into your home.
And it's easier for us as parents, who have the life experiences behind us, to make better judgements than our kids, but as our parents couldn't get through to us, you are not going to get through to him right now. I heard a lot in your post of what you feel he should do, but I think you have to step back some and let him live his own life which is certainly the hardest part of being a parent....best of luck to you :)