pregnant 17 year old daughter

[deleted account] ( 7 moms have responded )

My 17 year old daughter is pregnant. She will be 18 in April. She is going to be a senior in high school and I would like to see her graduate. (the baby is due I think around April). She move out last nigth, with her father , who don't have a job, has problems with drugs and alcohol, and don't have a place to live, because I won't bend my rules so that she can spend all of her time with the baby's father, playing house at my home. She has curfew , chores to do,and if her grades get below a c she can't go out, or ask for things, since she got in trouble for missing school and been in court several times, she says hateful things to me about not wanting to live here and how I suck as a parent. I don't know what to do. Should I let her go, and give up on my daughter? Or do I stick to my guns and keep her home until she is 18 and try my hardest to prepare her for motherhood the best I can and ignore all the hateful words and feelings going on? I work full-time, so she come and go as she please when I'm not home. She refused to come home. Plese HELP ME!!!!

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Louise - posted on 07/17/2011

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Your daughter is torn between being an adult and a child. She does not want to stick to your rules because she feels she is an adult yet she is not well equipped for dealing with her fathers alcohol abuse and drugs.

Sit her down and tell her eye to eye how much you love her and want to help her with her choice of becoming a mother. Tell her you are here to help her as much as she wants and that you will always be there for her. Then step back and let her make her decision. If she still chooses to leave let her go, she will be back when she realises what a fool she has been.She is early pregnant and the reality has not really hit yet. When she sits down and thinks about things properly she will be very scared and she will need your support big time. You just have to wait for that time to come and be patient.

MEMI - posted on 08/12/2011

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I too am in the same boat, My daughter will be 18 in December, she will be 4 months pregnant in 2 days. This is her Senior Year of HS, the best year of her life. She thinks she can do everything on her own. Ive tried reasoning with her ,, I know how hard it is .. She is certain that she can do this. ): At my wits end. My heart is broken.

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Lauren - posted on 07/26/2011

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This is so sad and unfortunate, but tough love will be the only way she will get things straight. You have done your job in raising her and now your only concern is the baby, so try speaking to her from a mother to grandbaby perspective and agree to help her through doctor appointments and take her to a few stores and start looking at baby things just to indirectly start talking to her. Sorry her father is a loser, but she will see that too! Stay prayerful and do not bend what you know is right to pacify her raging hormones!!

Jane - posted on 07/20/2011

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all teens will lash out at their mums cos your the one whose the strong backbone n she knows it. stick to your guns cos when the shit hit the fan she will fall on you and need you, shes scared although she feels grown up and independent. she can always resit her exams after babys born, have a word with the headmaster and organise it so that they have a resit when baby is 6 months or something. the school may suggest that as there isnt a babysitter at home (you work full time) they may have creche facility. have a talk with your daughter and tell her about her body changes and ask her what frightens her and what to focus on. its scary for you too as you probably thought she would wait till she was at least 25!! but hey thats kids who are in "love" xx hope it helps

Karen - posted on 07/20/2011

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Yes and she will come around. I remember being 17 (not so long ago) and i hated how my parents were raising me. Now that I'm older i understand and am thankful for all they had done for me. I got pregnant during my senior yr. and was 18 so I really thought I was an adult. Is it her Dad she moved in with or her baby's father? If it's the baby's father, she will come around probably a lot sooner. Playing house gets a little old when you are young. Your broke all the time, have to do all the cleaning and everything. I was 19 when I got married and very excited, but 3 months into it, I got bored with it. I was stuck home all the time while hubby worked. It was so lonely and he was always getting upset with me for not cleaning the house they way he wanted it cleaned. His mom was a clean freak and mine wasn't. My suggestion would be not to help her with money. If she wants all her needs taken care of, she needs to come home. It won't take her long to see that he can't support her well enough.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/18/2011

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I agree with the ladies above, but will add one thing. Why do you not want to allow her to have contact with the baby's father??? That boy needs to step up and take responsibility.

Shauna - posted on 07/18/2011

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I'm not an authority on any subject, but sometimes you have to let go and let life teach and then we as the parents help pick up the pieces. I would say even if you let her go, pray that God will give her wisdom and bring her back. With her being pregnant you are dealing with Teenage Hormones and Pregnant Hormones. Consider that.

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