Sad and hurt!!

Cheryl - posted on 02/09/2012

Wow. Sporting a career in the majors with drinking and pot lingering on your records, probably not a great idea. If my husbands son decided to come live with us, I know my husband would be excited and nervous, but I think we would both make the effort to make him consider finishing his school years with his mother. She's a good mom, he has established friends and relationships that could easily cause a distraction in his education. Missing his family with her would also be another issue that could affect him. Going from living in a household where he has to share with another child to one where he is the only child could be a possible ripple as well. Trust me, we would do this in a heart beat but a child wouldn't consider the consequences of all of these things. The adults have to do this and more than that, they have to consider the child over their own desires and financial benefit or vengence. I hope this gets better for you!

Nancy - posted on 02/09/2012

I just posted about my 18 yr old son announcing that he wants to go live with his dad. His reason...because he can do whatever he wants there...yes..I feel your hurt...it is terrible...

Angie - posted on 02/09/2012

My kids father is an alcoholic, has always been behind on child support, has never helped with extras, and at one point I made the decision it was unsafe for my kids to be in his custody for visitation. He insisted when they got older and I didn't have "control" over them, he was going to have this great relationship with them. Over the years, although he has called me names & bad mouthed me to the kids, I never bad mouthed him, I never complained to the kids if their dad paid child support, we could have this, and I tried to help them through their yearly disappointments of missed birthdays and Christmases. When my oldest turned 17, he attempted a relationship with his dad. He is now 20 and not speaking to him, which I think is sad, but understand his frustration, but more importantly, he he got a whole new realization of how special mine and his relationship is & what a real parent truly means.



The point is YOU have been there for your son, just as you believe in your son, believe in yourself!! Don't let his father question your parenting & certainly don't let him drag yourself down to something you are not ~ sticks and stones, sticks and stones, don't mean anything if it's not truth, you KNOW you are not unfit, you KNOW you are not the worst mother in the world. Keep staying positive & encouraging to your son, whether or not he lives with you, and try to keep the situation between you and his dad between you two, and I'm not saying you have to say how wonderful his dad is, by any means..lol, just keep the separation and in the end, your son will get it. Best of luck to you!

Becky - posted on 02/08/2012

I don't have the same story, but my close friend does. Her husband went to work one day and never came back. He left not only his wife but a 12-year-old girl. My friend worked three jobs and raised that child as best she could, providing her with a wonderful home. When the girl got older, about 18, she made the decision to live with her dad who had hardly had anything to do with her for six years... my friend was heart-broken, angry, resentful and frankly a little jealous. Everytime she saw her daughter, she complained about the ex and how he had never been around, pretty soon, she didn't see her daughter very much. Then one day my friend decided to try a new tactic. She never mentioned the dad or how he had forsaken her, she decided to not say anything negative at all and instead, she concentrated on just listening to her child, with little response. Wouldn't you know it, it took two years, but her daughter came around and has told her she realizes and appreciates the many sacrifices her mother made. The girl didn't cut off her relationship with her father, but she developed a new one with her mother.