Should I allow my 18 year to still live in my house?

Ma - posted on 08/22/2012

Thanks I hope your situation gets better I think I will get through this, good advice!

Ma - posted on 08/22/2012

Thanks I fear you may be right, but am hoping college will give her some needed attitude adjustment.

Ma - posted on 08/22/2012

Thanks I have talked to her, but I am dumb so talking gets no where. She takes mistreatment from her friends so I worry about her choices and ability to stand strong against anyone outside of my house. I do not want to give up on her but with so much time and effort I have little energy. I also have an 8 year old who is so sweet but with all the drama how do I have time let alone energy for her.

Thanks again your post was kind and gave me needed advice!

Tina - posted on 08/22/2012

I have 3 teenage boys and one little girl. My eldest is 18 and like your child, he is selfsh disrespectful, non caring and bad mannered. he also has a violent streak which was used on both myself and his dad last year. It got so bad we called the gardai to sort out his violent behaviour. Be careful if you involve the law as they banned him from my house and he didn't speak to me for a couple of weeks. I tried not to care but it was very difficult. Even after all he put us as a family through I still missed him. I had to do this for the sake of my other children. My son is now a respectable working human being who is learning to care and show respect. he even developed a few manners. He lives in his own apartment and has a car. he did all this without our help and while he was still in school. I'm sorry this had to happen but maybe it was for the best. The twin boys do not want him back as the house is so peaceful with very little stress. I hope it works out for you as i wouldn't wish this situation on anybody. It's emotionally draining but my family has survived and I'm sure yours will too.

Chaya - posted on 08/22/2012

It's likely to get worse, twin should be criminally charging her sister, a few nights in jail may be the solution to her attitude.
Another thing I'd try, is while she's in jail, put her stuff in storage and tell her she's not welcome back, you'll pay for storage for x number of months, but she's not welcome at that home as long as she's not able to treat her family with respect. Change the locks if need be

Francine956 - posted on 08/21/2012

If she is getting ready to leave for college then maybe you won't have to take any drastic measures. At any rate, have you tried talking to her to find out why she is so angry? Perhaps she is overwhelmed from working 40 hours a week and is preparing for a life change-leaving for college. There could be many issues that have her under so much stress, try asking to her and let her know you care but the way she is acting is not that of an adult. In regards to her twin, perhaps she needs to speak up and let her sister know that she is not happy with the way she is being treated. As a mother of four, I have seen extreme behaviors and the only way to get to the root of the issue is to find out WHY they are acting out. Keeping the line of communication open and allowing your children to know you are there and can only help them if they are willing to talk to you will work. You just have to be patient and keep trying, but don't push or they will push ack and nothing will be resolved. I hope this insight from one parent to another has helped you at least a little. Good luck and be strong!