Should I be kicking my 18 yearold son, baby girl and his girlfriend out after they are out of school

Gail - posted on 11/20/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I want them to realize what it is like to be on there own . Right now i do not think they really understand. My son has a job now an is trying to keep his grades up as well as stay in sports. His girlfriend does not work and really does not do much around the house and i have asked her to get a job and she will not "as long as she is in school." we do a lot for them now. need oppions

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Marion - posted on 09/27/2011

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Wow why did you even let them stay with you? They aren't married, they have a child and are being total "tools". They are taking advantage of you. I would call a family meeting, or make a no nonsense list of what is expected of them. Then give them a time limit for improvements. If things don't improve right from the start, tell them they have to be out in 2 months. You son should be saving part of his money, the girlfriend can go and get an apt. through social welfare agencies. They figure they have the "bull by the horns." My thought is if you aer mature enough to make a baby, then you better be ready to face the future head on!

Jodie - posted on 01/10/2010

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maybe you should sit them down and make some ground rules for them,dont kick them out,cos i tell you what i would of loved to be at home when i was 19 with a kid,but i went out on my own,and at 35, i have 3 kids and no future for my kids,but lucky for me i have to smart teenagers,that know what they wont for their future,its not easy raising kids when you are still a kid yourself, i think maybe just guide them and them ready for the outside world,make them realise,they will have ti face it alone,its one of these things,when you make a family,you do have to provide well for them,but with the support of you guys,before they get there,at least when they are ready to face the world alone,they will be ready. if you kick them out to early,and they are not ready, you will find more problems than you did when they were living at home. sometimes teenagers,despite how silly they are,going of to have kids,so young,they still need our support,and i think your a wickard mum for having them,but dont cut them loose untill they are ready to go,and you will know...but its important that you sit them down and explain all that to them,or they will take living with you,for a free ride,thats good that ya son has a job,but if collage is on the future,then thats good as,as for the girlfriend...the main ? is, is she a good mum to your grand daughter,if she is,then thats her job,and shes trying to do school at the same time..in all honesty you should b proud of them both,as they are teenagers with a kid,they clearly wont the best for their girl,by staying at school and your boys got a job,and honestly thats all thanks to you,having them living with you.if you just set some housework rules for them on the weekends or something, then you everything will work out well for your family.they have an advantage living at home,some teenagers dont get that at all,alot of teens get kicked to curb with their kids,and thats not fear.so you should be proud of yourself as well. course you care and love them..so dont go kicking them out,let them get ahead in their life,to give their girl a better life,when they do finally step out and make it on there own...i cant imgine its easy raising a family in the united states.so what you are doing is very awsome.i have a 16yr old,and if she was to get pregant,i would support her,as i know whats its like raising kids.with no $. so you are a cool mum.for having them there..but you do need set some ground rules,with the girlfriend,make her realise shes a mum now and that housework comes hand and hand of being a mum as well,you know that.i totally agree she should help,you have to make them understand,you tell them it could be alot worst,they could be homeless with a child.so they do have it quite good.tough love thats what its is,you are the parent you make them understand,but in a nice civil way. no teenagers dont have any idea or understand,but as parents its up to us to make them understand...you are doing a wickard job..you should be proud.i hope they do listen to you.i dont know show them this post,but i do hope everything goes well.good luck.

Amy - posted on 01/10/2010

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WOW , UMM Where are her parents ? Sounds like your son is on the right track now so thats goos . Um i would talk to him and her at the same time you and ur husband sit down at the table and do it .Not around child .Set rules and tell them they will pay rent and do chores around the house .They decided to have a child they are adults now and u cant live for free .Make them buy there own food also even if they get foodstamps .If she dont work then let her know that she will do the house work and take care of HER baby . Life is not FREE and u are not a bank .U pay bills and u have raised your kids you are not going to support another family also . If she refuse to help around the house or get a job then Yes she needs to leave .If your son dont wanna leave then i would talk to him alone about custody of that child and explain to him that you like her but she doesnt wanna help she is the mother of that child . Dont babysit for them also until they prove '' her'' can prove her self ..She wants a babysitter ok then she can work for it tell her u want ur car washed or something . Tell her there are MANY 16 YR old girls that raise kids,go to school and have a part time job ! Now im not or have never been a single mom but what about them .They do it. She is lazy and dont wanna grow up . Talk to them both set rules for EVERYTHING , Rent ,car use, babysitting ,Food , Ur phone , They also should be giving you money towards food even if u make them give u 100. a month .yes its not much but its something . Then if she still wont listen talk to ur son alone .Good luck , dont back down . U did ur job , Its ur house and life isnt free .

Amber - posted on 01/10/2010

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OMG what to do! Really start making them stand on there own two feet! To start with you could give them a real test. You should go away for a week or two but they have to pay the bills,rent, clean,cook,wash, shop, do the yard etc all out of there own pocket. They will soon realize how much harder it is. Plus it will give them an idea of what they need to do what it cost's to live on there own. As for your son's girlfriend she will realize she needs to do more around the home and that she need's to get a partime job to help out. Now for asking them to move out, Let them no that is what you want them to do, they will understand what they have to do especially if you have given them the test I suggested. Good luck!

[deleted account]

Well to start, I read that the problem for you is the girlfriend cause I don't read a complaint about your son doing chores either. So you need to set some house rules so that your relationship doesn't get any worse. Just simply say this is the way it is going to be at my house.

Make a list of chores to be done every week at the family meeting on Sunday (after any meal). List the chores under three columns (hard or takes long time; medium hard/time; easy/quick). Look at the number of them and then decide that each person has to do X number of chores from each llist. Take turns each week on goes first to mark their choices. Agree that the chores have to be done well and done before the next Sunday meeting. If someone doesn't do the chore, they have to do it that Sunday and take on an extra long chore for the next week. Agree this house rule or find a place of your own (and you better be ready for them to do that and take your grand with them). Remember you teach people how to treat you. If you have a problem with the girlfriend, talk to your son and insist he handle it. He may have to drop out of sports to handle his man business but that is a choice he made. Don't baby him- he's not the baby anymore!

Sheila - posted on 11/23/2009

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One you are helping them just by letting them stay with you.....Too everyone have to pay rent some where so have them start Tell your son's girlfriend that if they lived in there own home she would have to clean.... Sometime kid do thing because he or she knows they can get away with it....Good Luck

Brandy - posted on 11/22/2009

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I struggled with this as well. I knew my daughter was not ready to go out so I prepared her as much as possible: I had her make a grocery list, get groceries, pay 10% of her paycheck for rent, she bought her own stuff as far s hygiene, etc...I would sit down and have a family meeting and find out what is best for everyone.

Beth - posted on 11/22/2009

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Make them pay rent and keep a job. Because, take it from me, you will be struggling and they will be playing. Also dont make it easy on them to have built in sitter. Give them a time frame to be on their own (realistic) and keep to your word. Even if it means you savey all the "rent" money they gave you to help them into their first place.

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