Should I let my 15 year old daughter go to the Senior prom?

Sonya - posted on 03/06/2010 ( 25 moms have responded )

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My daughter recently started dating and she is a freshman in high school. Her boyfriend is a senior and just asked her to go with him. I am on the fence about it because I feel it's too much too soon. My husband, who tends to be overprotective, is dead set against her going. He feels this is too serious too soon, and concerned with the cost. He is a nice guy but just getting to know him. I need some feedback!

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Julie - posted on 09/14/2012

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First of ALL, why is she dating a senior? Having a boyfriend who is a Senior is and i quote, "too much too soon.....this is too serious too soon." plus it sounds like you do not know the "man" (he is probably immature). SO THINK ABOUT WHO YOU LET YOURS KIDS GO OUT WITH. POSTED BY A 16 YR OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Starr - posted on 10/16/2012

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I see this is a really old post but for anyone else currently in this situation, here is my take.



My thoughts on younger girls dating seniors has recently changed due to my daughters current situation. Generally as long as they are in school together and involved in similar activities I have found that it is no big deal but what happens when he turns 18 is in college and doing things a majority of college students do or whatever it is he chooses. The age difference just seems to be greater at this time, not necessarily maturity wise but they will each be in a different stage in their life that is not necessarily ideal for either one.



In regards to prom, I allowed my daughter to go to prom this past school year with her boyfriend that was a senior at the time. She was not allowed to go to any after festivities what so ever. She was 15 at the time and a sophomore and there was no issues whatsoever and we have no regrets. I did allow them to take the "party bus" as well, figured it was safer than driving since the prom was a ways away. (I knew her boyfriend pretty well and his parents knew alot of the kids going on the bus and were comfortable with it too) I dropped her off where the bus was and took pictures of the kids with the group. The bus went to dinner and then to the prom and back. She had to text me when they got to the restaurant, when she got to the prom, when she was leaving the prom and when she was on her way home. Here boyfriend brought her home as soon as the bus arrived. It worked out very well with absolutely no issues. The only thing is that although my daughter had a good time, none of closest friends were there as they were underclassmen as well so she felt a little awkward even tho he did hes best to help her feel comfortable. As far as the cost, it was alot. You still need the expensive dress, shoes, jewelry and don't forget the hair and nails done too. Her boyfriend paid for the tickets to prom, bus and dinner.

Mkayla - posted on 10/13/2012

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Omg this is so stupid . You guys are over reacting , just because of the age difference . Well excuse me but I'm pretty sure you guys are dating men what? 3 years and older than you? Yea , that's what I thought. I honestly hope you let that girl go to the prom

Phyl - posted on 03/12/2010

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Wow..for the good old days when I was in school, under grads couldn't go..took all the pressure off us parents. Do you let her date now with out supervision? My daughter knows she can not "date" until she is 16 (35 if she is being an idiot, lol). I guess if you feel you must let her go, have a strict curfew.?

Amy - posted on 03/06/2010

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I didn't go to one dance, prom, ball, anything!~So I really believe those memories and experiences are what high school is all about! Of course the education is #1, but personally I want my 16yr old to go to every single event she is invited to or is allowed to attend! I am a single mom, I KNOW how expensive these things get. I would let her go, set limits and rules, a budget and curfew. Then let her go create memories! Don't you want her to look back and feel good about her high school experience? It's hard to let go of them, and just because you loosen the apron string, you never cut it off! Just my opinion...Good luck!

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Lilly - posted on 01/12/2013

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This is an old question but yes my daughter is dating a junior whom is suppose to be a sophomore and she's an 8th grader he's very respectful and his mom works in the middle school same school my daughter goes to and he hasent tried anything so yes

Heather - posted on 03/25/2010

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Hi there! I am a mom of a fifteen year old girl, she is pretty mature for her age, but, personally I don't think that I'd let her go. She may end up being exposed to way bigger things that what she can handle. Mind you she isn't into dating as of yet, so I guess I'm pretty lucky!!
She'll have her own senior prom to go to, I'd say wait on this one. You probably won't be to popular with her, but, being popular isn't our job as a mom!!
Take care

Jana - posted on 03/23/2010

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I think if you trust your daughter then let her go. But, talk to her, the boy, and his parents. Make sure everyone knows what is and is not okay. Maybe just dinner and then the dance afterwards. No after party.

Karen - posted on 03/22/2010

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Sounds to me like you should just say no. There's nothing wrong with having to wait and it sounds like you and your husband would be happier to say no. If it were me, I would say no too. Amazes how many parents allow their kids to grow up too soon anyhow!

Kristi - posted on 03/15/2010

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I was asked by a senior to go when I was a freshman. That was the only way an underclassman could go to the Prom. My parents rule was that the weekend befor the Prom both of our families had to get together for a meal so that they could meet and talk to the boys parents to find out their rule as well as the rules my parents had.
This way if there where any concerns then they could be hashed out before hand. My dad offered his truck for us to go in that way he knew exactly when we got back because the young man had to come inside to get his keys to his personal vehicle.

This is just how my parents handeled it. I was their only girl so they were very protective about my "security".
It is a memory that I will never forget. THere were only about 5 underclassmen at this dance. Being asked by a Senior to the prom is a soecial rite of passage that not many girls get.

Think about what my parents did and I know Dad will feel much better about the end of the night.

Judi - posted on 03/13/2010

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My daughter just ended a relationship. She is a freshman and he is a junior. They are only 16 months apart age wise, but I felt that 2 years of "life experience" difference was too much. I was proven correct. Not to mention the fact that he will be graduating high school soon. What happens to the relationship then? Where can this relationship go? If it not too late, tell your child that it is not a good idea that she get involved. Going to a dance is one thing, "dating" is another.
Hope this helps.

Chantay - posted on 03/12/2010

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I would say it No if you don't know the boy or the family that well. Alot hinges on how mature your daughter is and how well she follows your rules and respects your opinion. I don't know if I would let my freshman daughter go or not, that's a tough one.

Judi - posted on 03/11/2010

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My 15 year old is going to Senior Prom with a senior boy as well. We have met him on several occasions and although we don't know him all that well we know her. At some point we need to allow them to experience life. She will be eternally grateful to you even if the relationship does not last. She will understand that you trust her and believe in her. By all means though, make sure he picks her up at the house. Comes in and says hello and let your husband express his discomfort in the decision. A little healthy fear never hurt anyone. ;o)

Steffanie - posted on 03/11/2010

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Some of most beautiful memories are of my proms. Get to know the boy, and see if you feel comfortable with him taking her. You can also take her and pick her up... Give her a strict curfew.... Have a group of kids go together in a limo... Talk to the prom committee... I understand your hesitation because we all hear what happens at prom. But maybe some practical supervision can insure that doesn't happen. Is any of her friends going? I wish my teens would be more interested in going to their dances. My middle son had a really fun dance and he loved it. Whatever you decide is between you and your husband, and how much you trust her.... You need to do what is best for your child....

Jen - posted on 03/10/2010

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First how big of school are we talking about? Second how well do you know the peers who will be attending! As a mother of boys I would not like my boys at senior age dating girls who are freshmen. There is just way to much of a difference between them the way think and behavel. I would have to say I agree with your husband on this. If for no other reason but for her protection.

Jane - posted on 03/09/2010

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Yes, absolutely let her go. I went all 4 years and I wouldn't trade those memories for a million bucks. I was also invited to dances at other schools too. My parents felt that I knew the rules and if I betrayed the trust then I would have been limited to what I attended. A new dress for every dance was my treat and ya know the girls can do a dress trade if your on a budget. I'm glad that I was able to make those memories and I look back on them often now because my daughter is 16 and I want her to remember school as a positive fun time. Good luck on making this decission.

Jane - posted on 03/09/2010

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It's a school sponsored dance with chaperones. If you trust your daughter, then yes, you should allow her to go. You're allowing her to date so think of it as just another date.

Maisee - posted on 03/09/2010

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School dances are part of high school memories. She must be the envy of every freshman girl to be asked by a senior boy. :) I know it's hard to accept our children growing up so fast but the first step in helping them is to trust them to make the right decisions. Set some rules and curfew and if it gets broken, this will allow you to set more limits on future events.

Christine - posted on 03/09/2010

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If your husband is set against it, you should really discuss this, with each other and your daughter. If you decide to let her go, I would only allow the school dance part and that's it. Then she has to be home. Look into places that rent prom dresses (usually start around $25). Check with a cosmotology school in your area for hair, and nail prices. I know it's a hard decision. Good luck and God Bless!

Tena - posted on 03/09/2010

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Is this my son and his girlfriend that you are referring to? SAME Situation here,But I am the mother of the senior (boy). I think you have to trust both the kids. And set a curfue for her to be home. There are shaprones at the prom. Let her have fun, but remind her that this is a test, and if she breaks your trust, then thats it.No more.

Patricia - posted on 03/08/2010

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Well, I never went to any high school dances....YEARS later, I do regret it. To ease your mind, most high Schools now a days have very strict rules and guidelines. I know where my son goes, all that attended HAD to ride the bus to the destination, they could not be driven or drive themselves...and the after party was held at a YMCA...all very much supervised. I guess you could find out what the High Schools guidelines are before making that final decision. If it all pans out, than you will at least be able to feel more relaxed by letting her go. And if she has a cell phone, you can always stay in contact with her and set a time that you will be picking her up...when my son went, the bus drove them back to the High School, where anybody that went to the after party, had to find a way to the YMCA...you could allow the prom itself, but not the after party if there is one...this way your daughter will be able to still attend, but only by your rules.

Tracy - posted on 03/08/2010

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Have you had the young man over for dinner so you and your husband can meet him and get to know him better? If you are on the fence and your husband is dead set against it, perhaps there are "little red flags" going off in both your heads that could be either confirmed or put to rest simply by getting to know him. Have him over to eat with your family and play family board games with him. This is non-threatening for him and could reveal things about his personality that can either confirm your fears or set them at ease.



Also, the high school that my son goes to has a prom committee of parents that has created a whole prom/after prom party. The kids go to the prom and then stay in the same location for the after party. There is no alcohol available, but there is a DJ and food, and other activities for them to do. Do you know how your daughter's high school handles prom? Perhaps they have a chaperoned situation like this.



If all else fails...go with your gut. You'd rather be safe than sorry, and she will have other years to go to the prom. Most kids only get to go to prom their junior and/or senior years anyway.

Jennifer - posted on 03/06/2010

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You may just be getting to know this boy, but, you do know your daughter. You need to trust in yourself that you have raised a smart girl who knows how to make the right decisions. Let her know what your concerns are, and trust in her to do the right thing.I allowed my 16 year old to go with a friend to his, Yes I had concerns, but I allowed her to go with rules and a curfew. She had a great time and my rules were kept. I say let her go, proms are well supervised by teachers.Plus my daughter got her dress at Le Chateau for $39.99 and shoes for $19.99 @ Aldo

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