should my teen do chores and work?

Yvonda - posted on 06/29/2010 ( 213 moms have responded )

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my son will be 17 in August, he works with my husband in the summer, and it's construction work so I know it's hard on him, but he and my 11 year old daughter have days that they have to wash dishes and dust the living room, this is their only chores besides keeping their bedrooms clean, my problem is my son thinks it's unfair for him to have to work and then come home to do more work, if I let him skip a turn, my daughter says it's unfair. what do you other moms think of this?

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Leslie - posted on 06/29/2010

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My son is 14 and works with my husband and his family whenever he's not in school and it's farmwork, which I know is hard too. I personally believe that he should have to do chores as a contributing member of our household. As a son, he needs to know that when he grows up, he still needs to contribute to his household (wife, children, etc...) even if he works outside the house.

Julie - posted on 07/04/2010

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so because a woman stays at home and does house work all week she is not entitled to any help for the mess everyone makes all weekend. ridiculous - if you got in the shower you wouldnt dream of leaving the towel on the floor well i am sorry neither does my family they pick up after themselves or they get that wet towel rapped round their necks. i have more self respect for myself than to let the other members of the household take me for granted and use me as a mug. i am a mother and wife not a door mat.

Angie - posted on 06/29/2010

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Do you work and then come home a do chores? Does you husband go to work and then come home and work aound the house? My 17 year old son works 40 hours a week and drives 30 minutes each way so he can work. When he comes home, he takes his turn washing dishes, cleaning the bathroom, dusting and vacuming, mowing the lawn, etc. If he doesn't want to do his chores, he has to pay his sisters to do his share.

Catherine - posted on 04/16/2012

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Well as a mom to 7 I will give my opinion on this one, because sometimes I think all I ever heard was...Mom thats not fair.....So, yes it is fair that your son is helping out and doing chores around the house. He is older then your younger child and is therefore expected to be more responsible. When he gets older and moves out he is still going to have to work and then come home and help out there as well. You are preparing him for the realities of life. I can guarantee his future partner, room mate or whatever it maybe will thank you!

Lisa - posted on 07/09/2010

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Your husband needs to step in an mention what chores he does to help the family on weekends. Your son is also making money for his job and needs to be reminded that house hold chores are a way to belong to the family (that is if your daughter doesn't get paid). If she is getting an allowance for keeping her room clean, then he needs that incentive to, or he can pay his sister to clean it for him LOL.

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Dulsy - posted on 04/18/2012

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Well we seam to manage it all don't we?Everyone that lives in a home must contribute.Thats my poinion.

Mrs Susan - posted on 04/16/2012

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This is hard one but your son should be treated exactly like your daughter about chores. Otherwise you could have trouble with favouritism. I have made a rota for everyone and we all do our bit even Dad who goes to work at weekend irons, hoovers and empties dishwasher. It is fir to everyone if chores are divided up I think although I am no expert and what works for me may not work for you.

Addison - posted on 04/16/2012

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If your son is 17 i think hes old enough to take on more responsibility.My two kids (11 and 10)

have to clean their landry,take turns washing dishes every night,and keep there room clean. My oldrer two kids (23 25)when they where 17 had to work,take turns mowing the lawn every sunday, take turns washing dishes every night, and keep there room clean

Bobbie - posted on 04/16/2012

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He needs to do chores even if he works. What kind of husband will he be if he doesn't learn to help around the house. Teach him how to do laundry and have your kids wash their own clothes and put them away. The chores you gave him are nothing for a kid that works construction. We cleaned the house up on Saturday and got to ride the bus to downtown and go the movies with our 50 cents. Maybe your son could pay his little sister to do his chores occasionally. This way she gets to decide rather she wants to trade her skills for money. Anyway everybody needs to learn how to do the things to keep a house up. Your doing good stick with your guns.

Helen - posted on 04/13/2012

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i have my 5 year old doing chores he has been helping out around the house since he was 2 at first it was just helping me put his toys away now he tidys and cleans his own bedroom he puts dirty clothes in the washing machine and after i have washed them he takes them out and puts them in the tumble dryer he poleshes and is in the proses of learning how to sweep and mop as he gets older he has more chores to do but he also gets more rewards the more he dose... its part of life and he has to learn do it. if my boy said at 17 im not doing the chores then i would tell him to find his own place and do as he pleases but while under my roof he will be doing as i ask, its not hard doing a few things around the house to help out...he will soon be begging to come home if he knew how much house work he would have to do if living on his own. if he dose not want to do chores remove his privalages like the internet, mobile, computer games etc and take a percentage of his wage for household bills rent etc and take extra for being his cleaner he would rather do a few chores that would take an hour out of his day then not have a penny to do anything with with all that spare time he has from not doing anything. unfortunatly all kids go through a stage of not wanting to do any thing and get there own way (i no i, and my friends that had to help out did too) and your girl is right it is unfair if he gets to skip chores but the rest of you dont. put it to him he either helps out, moves out or he gets charged for each chore he chooses not to do (and its up to who ever dose the chore for him how much they charge).

Sarah - posted on 04/12/2012

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i am a single mum of three boys, eldest 23 and youngest 15 live with me.eldest works in office and youngest still at school. I have them do chores round the house, the basic things like keeping bedrooms tidy and then own ironing of clothes and bed clothes washing. I think it instills some self discipline in them. With regards to your son working in the construction, maybe he is using that as excuse to egt out of things, but understand it is a hard working industry, but if he was living alone or with a gf etc, then maybe he would have to do it. and daughters point of view, suppose she would have a point. You will find a way tho. I used to have loads of arguements. Some bribary came into play. amazing what boys will do once that takes place lol

Cierra - posted on 04/12/2012

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He's soon to be considered an adult. Going to work and doing chores is not gonna kill him.. yes he may complain but doing that works builds character and he will thank you later for teaching him the values of hardwork and responsibility. Kids will always complain..

Cathy - posted on 04/11/2012

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welcome to the the real world ...... he aint ganna have a wife to do it for him after he graduates from school .... im sure you work and clean the house so why should it be any different for him it teaches him responsibilities

Dawn - posted on 04/11/2012

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no. your son needs to complete his chores at home as well as be responsible for holding down his job. You are the parent....and you are setting an example and "training him" on what it will be like when he leaves your nest. In fact.....I think at 17 years of age, washing the dishes and bedrooms shouldn't be the extent of his duties. He should also be responsible for his own laundry at that age, as well as starting to understand the value of a dollar and pay for car insurance if you have given him his own transportation. just my two cents. Parents now a days are really starting to do EVERYTHING for their children and they are leaving their parents without the responsibilities that they really need to own up to. Good luck!@=

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I think there's a similar thread I'm seeing throughout this whole debate. There is a difference between maintenance housework and someone not cleaning up after themselves. My husband is VERY guilty of this. He leaves all of his shirts, pants and socks in different rooms of the house (or anything else for that matter). Where it drops, it stays. But he was raised by a mother who never required him to do a thing for himself. I, on the other hand, was raised in a household where both parents worked, so both parents did the cleaning and we were required to help with chores. I could see taking the majority of the work if the husband is working a physical labor job. But if they're sitting in an office all day, I don't see why they would be too physically exhausted to pick up after themselves at least. My husband and I have two young children and I have some physical limitations that keep me from being able to overexert myself. The children just about put me over the edge as it is, but when there is laundry to be folded and carried upstairs, dishes to do, vacuuming, dusting and other odds and ends, my body just can't handle it all on top of childcare. We have been married for 2 years so I'm trying to get him into a groove of picking up after himself and possibly, if I'm having one of my bad days physically, taking over for a bit. I would never judge someone for wanting to do everything around the house and not expecting the husband to do anything. I wish I could afford that luxury, but it's just not reality for me.

Misty - posted on 03/29/2012

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when i was that age i worked and did chores! and i was the only one who had a job ever in my household beside parents... but i was the oldest! i didnt think it was fair then but im glad my mom did it in the long run i learned to work for things not expecting to get away with it becasue i have something else to do.... more responsible! make him learn what he will have to be doing in the real world!:)

Terrie - posted on 03/26/2012

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Make a choir table and put it on the fridge, and make it known that who ever does not compy doesnt get their (?) fill in the blank...for us its choice of what they want for dinner( who ever washes gets to choose what we eat for the night)

Heather - posted on 03/26/2012

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Your husband works and yet I am sure he helps out around the house. Teach them young to pitch in! My teen does not have a job, but does swim competitively 21+ hours a week, but he is still expected to clean his room, clean up his dishes, help with garbage and picking up dog waste, set table, etc.

Tristian - posted on 03/24/2012

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I think that he needs the responsibility of doing it, look at it this way when he moves out what is he going to have to do, go to work and still come home and make sure the house is taken care of. My parents let my oldest brother slide, he is now 26 and still living at home, refuses to get up and look for work, refuses to even do his own laundry. Nip it in the bud now while you have the chance.

Karen - posted on 03/20/2012

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What does your husband do when he comes home? My thought is could you make a change in the summer? Do they make any money for the chores at the house.? Maybe pay her alitte in the summer to even out her having to do the chore and not him.. I would still ask of him to pick up after himself. I would expect that of any of my own. Just a thought

Mildred - posted on 03/13/2012

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Absolutely he should have chores! I posted this in another thread so here it is for what it's worth:



I grew up in a culture that was very much in the "housework is women's work" camp. So when I got married to a man who was the only child of and unwell mother, I was in for a bit of a shock. He worked all day, then came home and mowed lawn, worked in the garden, and helped do dishes! And when we started taking in foster children in our second year of marriage, he jumped in to help with them too - bathing, bedtime routine, picking up toys, or just taking them outside to play so I could have 30 minutes of a quiet house, even if I was using that 30 minutes to tidy up and do dishes! LOL!

Fast-forward 31 years. We have raised 5 children, the 6th is a special needs child of 11 years, I have a home business so am usually home all day while my son is at school, and my husband still comes home and insists on doing dishes, vaccuming, dusting, etc. That's in addition to doing the barn chores, splitting and stacking wood, and shoveling snow! So I really don't know what the answer is to the dilemma of a SAHM whose husband doesn't chip in. But I DO suggest that the moms who have boys need to teach and train them right along with the girls to do anything around the house that needs to be done. Not that mom sits around and does nothing, but kids NEED to know how to do those things.

Because of my husband's example and work ethic, and the fact that we didn't divide the work into men's/women's, all 3 of my grown (and happily married) sons do plenty of cooking, cleaning (yes toilets too) and child tending. The unfortunate part is that my 2 daughters married men who had very definite and non-negotiable ideas of what is women's work - they're both single moms now....hmmm. Wonder if that says anything?!

Heidi - posted on 03/12/2012

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It teaches them responsibility, independence (which boosts their confidence), as well as leaves them with more of an understanding and appreciation for all that you do. It is never to early to start teaching and sharing chores. Just make sure to pick age appropriate ones. Think of it as preparing them for when they’re out on their own in the world. Do you want them to be dependent on you, or independent and successful in their ways? Do you want them coming back home in their late 20’s/early 30’s with laundry for you to do? Or do you want them coming back home at this age to help out with putting up the new fence, or christmas lights, or christmas tree. With their contribute to dinner already prepared in their hands.

KIm - posted on 03/12/2012

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I belive that everyone in the house hold should contribute to the house hold chorse. If they live there they should be involved in keeping the house in order. you can tell your teen that if they had their own place they would still have to work and do house work so why should it be any different just because you live with mom and dad? Even the younger children need to pitch in even if its just picking up their toys or taking the clothes out of the dryer.

Elizabeth - posted on 03/08/2012

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OH puhhhh leeze



Of course he should do the same chores. Is he now paying rent that he shouldn't have to do the same chores?



Let me ask you this...if YOU as a mom were working (not that you aren't ..because I don't know if you are) would you have to come home and do the same stuff you would do if you were staying at home??



He still wears clothes that need washing right? He still eats food that needs to be cooked right? He still walks on a floor that needs sweeping, vaccuuming, and washing right?

Wendy - posted on 03/07/2012

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Interesting posts, & I see that there are many diferent walks of life represented here. First off, in today's society, a single-income household is not realistic anymore. Even as an RN, I do not make enough money to totally support the family so my husband can stay home. That being said, my stepchildren can see that a husband & wife need to work as a TEAM to keep the house in order. Chores are shared, as we both work full time, and I work the overnight so I am home during the day in case of an emergency at school. He is home at night, so no-one is ever left unattended. My 16 yr old stepdaughter who lives with us has her chores to do. You contribute to the mess, you contribute to cleaning up. You get your chores done, you get paid & can go play. It teaches responcibility. if you don't go to work, you don't get paid, you don't have money for food/clothes/or to go play with. My mother taught my brother & I how to care for a home. Everything was divided evenly. Do your own wash, keep your room clean, and do your share of the chores. Responcibility. And mutual respect. If your kids can marry a spouce or find that one in a million job that will support a family alone, then wonderful! I would have LOVED to have been a stay at home mom... but life doesn't always give us what we want & we MUST be able to adapt. Responcibility. Something I'm seeing a lot less of with kids in todays society.

Chelsea - posted on 03/06/2012

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sounds like a sibling situation for sure. at 11 it is hard to understand what work really is, especially when she may just think he is tagging along by their daddy. maybe one of these days have her tag along with him...the boy is almost a adult, he sounds like he's not understanding, that one day he will be married and come home from work to his wife and family and that helping around the house even after working at a real job for his family, would make him a better man, and make life on his family just a little easier, thats a good way of explaining it to him. its like preperation. (Sp) its not fun, hell no... you and your husband could agree i am sure, but helping on little things makes for more happiness in the long run. maybe to compromise with him, have them split certain chores, or just have them work together. the 11 year old may not understand right now, but like i said maybe her tagging along and seeing how much harder a real job is to a few chores will change her outlook finally, and help both of them move on. maybe they can make deals with each other, to bring them closer together, since they do have a big age difference, and to show them how team work is great.

Carol Ann - posted on 02/27/2012

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Hi Yvonda- Who said life was fair? : ) The more responsibilities you give your child, the more responsible of an adult they will be. IMHO I see so many kids my son's age 14 or dont know how to do a thing. They dont clean their rooms, no chores, nothing. What a disservice to the child. I think that you should tell your kids that this is the way it is and also if they do go above and beyond I would definitely acknowledge and reward.

Maggie - posted on 02/26/2012

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You betcha! how are they going to learn to take care of themselves when they are on their own, if they don't do some of the things for themselves. My son, just turned 18, he takes out the trash, helps unload the dishwasher, clears the table and sets the table, feeds the dog and cat, puts away clothes that have been laundred for him and now is fixing at least one meal a week. I am trying to teach him the importance of keeping his room clean, although this may not be my strong suit. Since he just joined the military, he WILL get a major wakeup call for keeping things organized and straightened up.

I don't try to do "slave labor" with Claud, I just want him to have respect for himself and his property as he goes out on his own.

Nicole - posted on 02/26/2012

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Of course he is going to say it is unfair, he doesn't want to do it. However, welcome to adulthood! I am sure you and your husband go to work all day and then have chores at home too. I think you are right to have him do chores, you are preparing him for life outside of your home, you are preparing him to be an independent adult. Good for you! He is just being a kid, I don't know any kid, working or not, who likes doing chores :)

Julie - posted on 02/25/2012

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Do adults have 'chores' to do after work, yes. Does dad come home from work and pitch in here and there? I'm sure he does. Should he have to do something as small as dust and wash dishes, absolutely. He's almost an adult, and either going to college or getting a job. He needs to know what the real world is like.

Sarah - posted on 01/11/2012

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He should do chores too. Adults go to work and come home to clean, cook, etc. If he wants to act like an adult by taking on a job (no criticism implied, I think that's great he's learning a trade) than he also needs to learn to balance it with his other responsibilites.

Katrina - posted on 01/11/2012

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Yes he should work & do chores. It'll teach him responsibility & accountability!

Angie - posted on 01/06/2012

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As a single mom of 2 boys, they had chores starting at a young age. My oldest started umpiring games at 14, working in the summer for the school at 15, and got his 1st job at 16. If he wanted to drive, he had to pay for his own car insurance. Around 16, I even had him start "paying" the bills & balancing my checking account; he finally understood why we couldn't go out to eat all the time or buy all those snacks at the grocery store. He is now 20 & has his own apartment with roommates and appreciates so much the fact he knows how to cook, do laundry, clean, pay bills, etc., & it surprises him how little other kids his age know. And guess what, he also works full time and has to come home and do all that stuff ~ he truly knows now what I meant by be a kid as long as he can because now doing those chores he used to HATE to do seem so much easier now, especially the living rent free part..lol

Julie - posted on 01/06/2012

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You are not being unreasonable. Remind yourself that you are preparing your 17 yr old for the "real world" and in that place he will have to come home from work and "do the dishes" I don't think Mom's are really popular during the teenage years, but if you stick to your word and stay consistent, they will respect you for it later. Teaching life skills can be painful to everyone involved. Your 11 year old is younger and when she is 17 will also have to work, and do household chore. I remind my boys that we are a team and working together to maintain our home is not a chore, it is a responsibility. We forget that life can unfortunately be unfair. The sooner we teach our kids that, the better equipped they will be to handle wrongful situations in the future. Keep up the good work Mama

Janet - posted on 12/12/2011

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i do agree with you yvonda! this is good work ethics and will give him a stronger sense on how life will be once he's out on his own and knows what to expect when the time comes! only thing being finding time to get things done once at home. that's when they don't want to do things to help the upkeep of the house. my son knows he's got to keep his room clean, help his grandparents too which they can't do a lot of things and then help me out some as i can't do all the work on my own and he knows it! he's a very responsible soon to be 18 year old and knows he's going to have to get a job other than seasonal yard work which won't be till spring through mid fall. school work is tops, here, then comes chores all of which are to be done or he gets grounded! that's the consequences!

Dane' - posted on 12/08/2011

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o yes they are old enough to do chores. i have a 4 year old two 7 year olds, a 10 yr. old and a 13 yr old and they have about 8 chores a night and also their chore is to lay there school clothes out. it takes alot of you and gives u a quicker time to go to bed. BUT my 13 year plays football and days before he has to play and after he gets home from his game i DO NOT make him do his chores only bc he has worked so hard.

Mariah - posted on 12/05/2011

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He should be doing more than just washing the dishes and dusting every once in a while. When he leaves home he'll have to do a lot more than just work. It's better for him to learn now everything that is required to keep up a home rather than have his roommates hate him for being a slob. He should be taking on more responsibility at this age, not less. For when he complains that ____ isn't fair, remind him that life isn't fair and tell him to suck it up.

Prudence - posted on 12/01/2011

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when he leaves home he will be working and keeping a house... he still needs to contribute to the family home upkeep. My opinion.

Pam - posted on 11/28/2011

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I think what you are doing is perfect, good for you! At seventeen they are able to be responsible for helping out with out you feeling bad for it.

Cassandra - posted on 11/24/2011

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Hi Yvonda,
The truth is he is 17. Before you know it he will be living on his own and will have to do all of those things his self. Let him know that what you are asking of him now will prepare him for real life.

Cassandra

Paula - posted on 11/24/2011

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I totally appreciate what he is doing because you are showing him how to be a productive member of the household and beleive me his wife later on will bless you.

Vera - posted on 10/02/2011

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At the age of 17 your son should be thankful to have the opportunity to work with his dad and make some money in the summer. But he also needs to realize that he is just as responsible as his younger sister for his daily household chores too – which are very minimal. What does he think life will be like once he becomes an adult in the near future and eventually living on his own? He will then have to hold down a job and manage a household. If he continues to complain, I would take the summer job away from him and make him do more chores around the house.

[deleted account]

Wow, Jennifer, you are certainly blessed if you can choose to find stay at home wives for your sons! I would LOVE to stay at home and just tend to the house, my garden, my children and my husband (not specifically in that order!), BUT (and this is the big but...)... since my husband wanted to start his own business, I'm now working fulltime and he just has to do his bit!! I do not iron - ever!!! That's his job - just as I do the cooking. He washes the dishes, takes time off work to take children to sport and brings me tea in bed when I have a day off or late start at work.. Because we're a team! Even when I was at home when our youngest was little (and I had home help!) he would go and change a diaper or do dishes to allow me to have my feet up a little. Maybe, because we don't have "male jobs" or "female jobs" - we both do what needs to be done. Or maybe it's just because our relationship works - despite ourselves... And that's how we raise our children - since we cannot look into the future and decide how it's going to be. And I certainly do not want my son to find a wife just to look after him - that's my job... ;-)

Felicia - posted on 10/01/2011

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Yes! Maybe he does not have to do a lot of chores, but when he gets a job and moves out of your house he will have bills to pay and a house to clean and dishes to do etc. Better to learn now!

[deleted account]

I think it is very unfortunate that most kids grow up without a good work ethic. Living on a small ranch does give my son the opportunity to see there are many tasks that need to be accomplished on a daily basis; horses need to eat on Sundays and holidays too. We both have our chores we do around here, but at the same time he knows there is a time for work and a time for play.



I never used the TV or video games as a babysitter. I have always tried to have opportunities for him to explore besides TV and video games. I have never ‘forced’ him to do any activity, but have only provided him the opportunities and let him decide which he enjoys.



Being a single mom and only one child does make it easy to pinpoint the cause of tasks not being completed. If something isn’t done or is out of place and I know I didn’t do it, it doesn’t leave many choices! Hee hee The “not me” ghost doesn’t stand a chance in our house!

Barbara - posted on 05/29/2011

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First off, life isn't fair. Period. Nobody said you have to be 'fair' with all of your children; you might have logical reasons why you treat them differently (of course, the reasons why should be explained to teens).

That being said, being part of a family is a privilege and kids need to understand that said privilege involves pitching in whenever possible as well.

So I would say, yes, your son has chores to do too. Heck, it's not going to change when he moves out of the house (ie, there won't be any magic cleaning faerie to fix up his place while he's working), so might as well get him used to the idea now.

Michelle - posted on 05/28/2011

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Let me ask you a question? Do you work at home after you get home from work? Most parents that work, often come home and do household chores. It's a responsibility. Of course your son should have chores at home. As parents we try to raise our children, and teach them to be prepared for the real world. How are we doing this if we do all their chores for them? It is unfair that your daughter can't skip her chores, but your son can. Your son needs to learn that the work day does not stop once he punches out at his construction job. There are responsibilities at home that are just as important as those at the work place. As well, you may be giving your daughter the idea that if the man works outside of home, he doesn't have to do anything once he gets home. She may get the idea that because she is a female, it is her responsibility to do everything by herself when it comes to her home. I wish you all the best, and keep strong.

Audra - posted on 05/20/2011

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All kids should be expected to be responsible for their 'domain' or 'affected area' within the home, and in addition, should be expected to help with some overall household chores. How else will they learn how to manage a home when they are adults with their own home? It's a fact that there are different kinds of work. We work for a paycheck, but keeping a clean home and yard requires work too. In fact, ALL we do requires work...having a healthy body requires 'work' too. There is time for recreation and relaxation, but I'm thinking our generation expects an abnormal percentage of their time to be 'relaxation' and fun.

Shawnn - posted on 03/10/2011

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I haven't had time to read everyone's response, but I'm sure most were about the same...Don't you work, and then come home and cook dinner, do laundry, etc? What does he think that is? It's not just YOUR job to keep the house, and EVERYONE needs to contribute.

In my house, my hubby is the stay home parent because he's disabled. I work 40-50 hrs/week (in the summer it's more like 60 per week), and I still come home and help with housework. My personal "chores" are laundry and vacuuming. My eldest son has loading/unloading dishwasher, youngest has recycling duties. Both are expected to clean their rooms, keep their bathroom and combined living area respectable, and pick up after themselves in the public area of the house. My hubby cleans, cooks (amen!) and keeps the rest of the house.

Kids need to know that life is a 24 hour a day job. The responsibilities only increase as they get older, so your son may as well buck up and do his regular chores in addition to his day at work...the rest of us do it, and if he wants to be a responsible adult, this is a great start

Melissa - posted on 03/10/2011

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What about you ?Do you work?Why is it any different for your son .You work all day and what do you do when you get home ??You start your next 24 hr shift as a mum ,cleaner,cook ,accountant ,nurse maid ,teacher ....

Terri Lynn - posted on 03/08/2011

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What will he do when he is living on his own? He will then get to do ALL of his job and ALL of his cooking and housework. Our family started out with the idea that everyone has responsibilities in the home. We are homeschoolers and have kept it like this all along. I have a 17 year old also who does vacuums, swiffers the linoeum, makes her own bed, feeds all of the pets, bathes the dogs, and does a lot of the cooking. Your son is in trouble when he goes out on his own. My daughter is also my assistant (I am a writer and working on a book with a deadline attached) and is doing college level work. A lot of teens (younger kids too) are lazy and will do as little as they can get by with, but for their own good, we cannot let them get by with this. Sloppy schoolwork and not working around the house would never be acceptable to me. Explain this to him and post his chores on the wall. Tell him that if he does not do them, then he will just have to give up his work with your husband since he thinks he can only do a certain amount of work per day. My husband and I have always both been responsible for everything from housework, cooking, banking, child care, etc. Is your husband showing you this respect? Your son will take cues from Dad.

Terri Lynn - posted on 03/08/2011

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What will he do when he is living on his own? He will then get to do ALL of his job and ALL of his cooking and housework. Our family started out with the idea that everyone has responsibilities in the home. We are homeschoolers and have kept it like this all along. I have a 17 year old also who does vacuums, swiffers the linoeum, makes her own bed, feeds all of the pets, bathes the dogs, and does a lot of the cooking. Your son is in trouble when he goes out on his own. My daughter is also my assistant (I am a writer and working on a book with a deadline attached) and is doing college level work. A lot of teens (younger kids too) are lazy and will do as little as they can get by with, but for their own good, we cannot let them get by with this. Sloppy schoolwork and not working around the house would never be acceptable to me. Explain this to him and post his chores on the wall. Tell him that if he does not do them, then he will just have to give up his work with your husband since he thinks he can only do a certain amount of work per day. My husband and I have always both been responsible for everything from housework, cooking, banking, child care, etc. Is your husband showing you this respect? Your son will take cues from Dad.

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