Should parents step in when kids are fighting with friends?

Korey - posted on 10/11/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

1

22

0

My daughter is almost 15, and is experiencing difficulties with her friend of 3 years. Some of the comments and behavior I've heard and seen are down right nasty! (and I'm sure my kid is not immune to the nastiness as well) But when do I or don't I step in?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Wendy - posted on 10/14/2009

56

5

7

hya, well as much as we want to step in we really shouldnt,been there done that and we get burned lol,the kids will either work out their problems or split from being friends ask what happened and offer what ever advise you can but the kids need to work it out.I use to get involved and get upset and it would just blow ip in my face when they became friends again . If they get violent thats a different story! it shouldnt come to that then parents become involved and thats even worse, hope this helped a little,good luck and take care ,wendy

Diane - posted on 10/11/2009

7

46

1

The best thing to do is just be there for your daughter.Really listen to her without bad mouthing the other girl.Girls fight and make up all the time in their teens.If however it gets physical or escalates into more than just words, then talk to the other girls parent.But be careful if you don't know the parent very well.That could be where the child gets that it is ok to do what she does. Yo don't want it to turn into the parent coming after you.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

8 Comments

View replies by

Tammy - posted on 10/14/2009

13

43

0

first of all as a mother of 4 boys im not quite sure about girls but they are friends one minute then hate eachother the next, where as boys tend to keep their friends, i would talk to her see if she can get u to tell u what is going on with her friend, and as far as the language we'll thats teenagers for ya i have a 17, 16, 13 and a 9 year old good luck mama

Amy - posted on 10/13/2009

2

7

0

I also think that they will resolve this. When I was a teenager my best friend and I fought all the time, then we were best friends again after a few hours. It will pass and there is no reason to get involved. Boys r easier in that respect.

Chrissa - posted on 10/13/2009

17

1

4

Your best approach is to just be there for your daughter as a support. She and her friend need to figure this out by themselves. Teen girls can be very nasty but they will learn so much from this experience so let have the experience instead of trying to shelter them from it. However, if it goes too far and anyone is threatening anyone or crosses any line that makes you feel it is enough then you should talk to the other girls' mom or someone at school. Have them mediate things because you won't be able to remain impartial.

Patti - posted on 10/12/2009

9

9

2

My daughter has been in some pretty tough fights with her friends... she's in one right now and it seems that other people are either egging it on or are now at least involved. She told me tonight that she knows she and her friend are fighting and in two weeks they will be friends again, but right now they aren't friends. Now I did get involved in one of my kid's fights but only because the things that were being said were VERY detrimental to her reputation. I had to step in. Now keep in mind this is a very small private Christian school and it was leaving their part of the school and heading into the younger grades, youth group, sports, etc. Now??? They are all friends again! Go figure.

Jen - posted on 10/12/2009

4

40

0

I have found that my daughters fights with friends really dont last that long. And if they do they end up making up later on. I just give advice to my daughter when we talk about whats going on. I let her know that friends come and go and as you grow your friendships seem to change. Fights happen and sometimes its good to let go of some friends, others are worth fighting for.

Jan - posted on 10/11/2009

205

75

46

Hi Korey, as a mum to 4 that have all been thro this stage, I'd say let them get on with it!! They are friends, then they'r not but things will get better as they get older. You could always invite her friend over to tea & happen to mention that you feel really sad when they fight, it usually does the trick. If things are really getting bad between them & its upsetting your daughter perhaps you could have a quiet word with the other girls mum, she is probably pulling her hair out too. Good luck. x

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms