Son & Step-dad Jealous over Me (mom)

Christine - posted on 12/28/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am remarried to a wonderful man - problem is, he seems to be jealous of my closeness to my teen son and my son is jealous of my relationship with my husband.

I have been married 4 years and have a blended family of 5 teens. My son is the only Boy and is 14. He is not easy and a bit ADD -- but my son and husband fight constantly! It has gotten so bad that everything is hitting the fan.

BUT this is the issue -- my husband seems to nit-pic on him - antagonizing him and then wants me to back him up. Recently I am feeling that this is about both of them unconsciously trying to get me to pick a side.

I think they are fighting out of jealousy - each wanting me to choose them or prove I choose them.

How do you handle a man who is jealous of the love from a mom to her son? And how do you deal with a son who is determined to fight with his stepson?

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Lakota - posted on 12/31/2012

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Your son being jealous is normal. A grown man being jealous of a child? Your husband needs to grow up and get a grip.

Ariana - posted on 12/30/2012

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I would get some family councelling. There is obviously a weird dynamic that needs to be stopped now before your sons 16 and full-blown rebels. Your husband also has to stop nitpicking at him. Does he nitpick the girls? Probably not.

This is probably about jealously but it's also a male vs male thing. Your husband wants to be the 'alpha male' per se, and your son probably also wants to be the top male. If they don't have a strong connection to each other conflict arises.

Maybe you could put them into karate together or something? So they can have some 'male bonding' time instead of 'male fighting'.

I would definitely get into some family councelling to help change the dynamic that is playing out.

Juliana - posted on 12/28/2012

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i think you personally jumped into something with your gut feeling with no respect of your sons feelings. but if you have a nice talk with your son and ask him and the sf why they feel this jealousy toward one and other you will move on in your relationship. being a remarried woman is hard jealousy always comes from this. you nee to let these to bond but dot force them to. make them pare up and partner down! :)

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