Son Being Bullied

Paula - posted on 01/07/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Since my son started grade 7( a new school) last year he`s been picked on and teased alot.Some of it i know is his imagination but for most of it it`s real. This year it`s been really bad. He has come home so many times frustrated about these certain boys bugging him. He`s tried telling his teachers. Not too much has ever been done. My son has what you call a slow burning temper. He`ll only take so much then he loses it. Well i warned 2 of his teaches back in December that Josh was being constantly picked on and that he was soon gonna lose his temper. First thing out of their mouths was that if he did he could get suspended. But i told them it wouldn`t be his fault.

Well his first day back after break his temper blew. Seems they were doing something with shavings outside in Outdoor Ed and three boys decided to gang up on Josh. One tried to put shavings down his shirt. Well Josh had enough and went after him with a knife he was using. I get a call shortly after from one of the Vice Principals .He told me what happened and that Josh would be suspended for one day. I kinda lost it. I told him that i had warned his teachers a month ago that something like this was gonna happen if they didn`t do something about the bullying. Seems he wasn`t told about it.

Far as i know the other boys were talked to about the incident. Josh got the worse punishment due to what he did. I feel it`s not fair cause if they had of stepped in way before this, this incident wouldn`t have happened. It`s gotten to the point my son hates school and would rather stay home.

Anybody have any ideas of what i should do next?

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Kim - posted on 01/14/2009

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We have a peaceful school so when our kids are being bullied it's ignored.  My oldest son 15 was bullied by a certain kid for years, until this kid went after a teacher and was transfered. He seems to not care anymore about school or anything else.   My youngest son 5 is being bullied by 2 kids in the class, they bite him and scratch him.  I told him to hollor in their face and tell them to stop it.  I spoke to the VP, and told her I didn't want these kids near him, but sometimes you may as well talk to the wall.  I told my 5 year old to hit back but he told me that was not right, he said you are not allowed fighting in school.  Glad he has morals.  I wish it was easier for him he is starting to not like school and he only started in Sept. 2008.

Rachel - posted on 01/08/2009

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We have had issues with our school system for 2 of our children that are 5 years apart and the same issues of it being ignored continued. Our oldest finally got his bullying to stop when he stood up for himself and the bully's stopped. We let our son be suspended for the 3 days without a fight. When it started occuring with our 2nd child (who will NEVER fight back), I went to the principal and filed a formal complaint each time it happened. When still nothing was done, I went to our police chief and school superintendent. Just keep climbing the ladder. Just make sure that you let Josh know that even though fighting is not always the way to solve the problem sometimes it has to be done, but the same as Connie said... just make sure that he does it in front of school personnel and make sure you file a formal complaint with the superintendent of the school system and if that still doesn't work, talk with your school board and inform them that school personnel are not doing their jobs!

Connie - posted on 01/08/2009

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With my teen, my husband and I had planned on the "if all else fails, switch schools" tactic.  It's a havoc to switch but if a child can't focus on school due to these kids, that might be a positive alternative.  With my 9 year old, changing his school due to hanging around the bullies and not flourishing, but constantly struggling, actually has 100 percent improved his attitude as well as grades. It was a constant battle in my mind...should i change?  should i not?  But in the end, I'm glad I did!

Paula - posted on 01/08/2009

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Josh went back to school yesterday. He told me that he never saw any of the three boys. He also told me that the Vice principal had a talk with him. The guy told Josh that if it happened again just to tell whoever it is to leave him alone. If it keeps up then he is to go straight to the teacher. Which to be defeats the purpose. Josh has done this countless times before and pretty much nothing was done.

As far as i know the school doesn`t have a hotline number for the kids to call.As for me complaining to them about it, i did it too many times. Will try again but i think it`s not gonna do much. They say they care about these kids but i`m not seeing it.

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Paula, I would definitely make a point of calling the AP (Asst. Principal) or Principal and logging a complaint about the bullying incidents. This way there will be a log of your complaint for your son's benefit. I'm not sure if your school system has this or not, but our schools have a hotline for the kids to use when there are bullying issues, etc. This is a confidential hotline that they can use to report these types of issues against other students. This will also be a log against those kids that are bullying.



I agree with Connie that you should warn your son to stand up to these kids (w/out a knife or anything dangerous) in front of a teacher. Those bullies will always change the story to fit them if there's no witness.



I hope that you will be able to get the school administrators to look out for your son and stop these kids from bullying him. Good luck!

Connie - posted on 01/07/2009

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My son is in 9th grade, he lost a lot of his friends and was being bullied by 3 kids in Algebra.  When the kids were picking on him one day, he stood up and clenched his fists, his teacher said "NO, don't do it!"  He backed off and put up with it for many more days. He was afraid that if he stood up for himself (fighting back) that he would get in trouble by me.



He tried everything from making fun of them back, ignoring them, almost doing something (but the teacher warned him)



Finally, last week he handled it with these boys.  When they started in on picking on him, he stood up, yelled at and threatened them, then shook their desk forcefully and said "Anyone else have something to say?!!!"  They all were in shock and the teacher told him after class "Good job, i'm proud of you."  These kids no longer pick on him.  That's when your son needs to approach them (not w/a knife) but you should tell him if he decides to do it, do it in front of a teacher because it's better that way, if an adults not around, the other's could really hurt him.  I will now tell my kids "Do what you need to do but do it around a teacher."  My husband and I had a long talk w/our teen saying that we do notice with his friends that he is arrogant and stretches the truth to make himself look good a lot.  We suggested he work on what might be annoying these kids initally w/in himself and i have also started counselling.  Good luck.  I feel bad for kids, other kids can be SO mean!

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