Sweet 16 birthday ideas - and how to keep it alcahol free!

Cindy - posted on 02/04/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My daughters 16th birthday is coming up this fall and I am stressed to the max. I want to give her a party of some kind. Something special. But every party she has been to in the past year has included alcahol. She's a smart girl and I'm not blind I do know she drinks on occasion at these parties (her father, plays the roll of an osterach and pretends to not know so if even on kid was to show up drunk it would be ww3). But I also know she is the responsible one who looks after the others and is low key herself when it comes to consumption - she is the life of the party - a wild fun crazy girl - in sober state, so is to busy having fun to be bothered sitting with the drinkers missing all the fun - she knows its more fun to be sober..... the problem is, In hosting a party she attracts outgoing hyper wild teens - who usually end up being the partiers & drinkers. So even though I know she knows she can party & have fun without alcohol - how to I make sure to succeed in a sweet 16 without alcohol either being snuck in by friends, or kids arriving drunk. I do not want to be responsible for a room full of drunks. She is a very popular girl, and a very active girl. She has recently started at a new school & has a ton of friends there, has a bunch of friends that she still see's regularly from her old school, friends from soccer and friends from her competitive dance team. So just taking a small few close friends to a small quaint dinner isn't an option. She's a group orientated girl & if you ask her who her best friend is, she'll list 15-20 people. Anyone have any ideas?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/05/2013

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What is it with all of the "is it ok", or "how do I keep my kid sober" questions?

If you live in the US, drinking IS NOT AN OPTION if you are under 21! Period!

So, here's how you keep the party alcohol free: YOU DON'T ALLOW ALCOHOL ON YOUR PREMISES. And when the "hyper wild teens" who "usually end up being the partiers and the drinkers" show up, you stop them at the door, confiscate the alcohol, and then proceed to host the party. When someone arrives in an inebriated state, you turn them away at the door.

See, here's the deal that these little teeny boppers don't get: When THEY have been drinking at a party, and they get caught, they are asked where the party was, and then all of a sudden YOU are the responsible party for all of the drunk teens. And, depending on the laws in your state, you could be held responsible for all incidents of inebriation, whether you actually provided the alcohol or not. If you let them in, you accept responsibility. If you let them bring alcohol, you assume responsibility.

I know that you know this, because your question was "how to avoid" this situation, and that, my dear, is by simply being firmly exclusive at the door. ANY alcohol means they're shown the door. And, if it were me, they'd be shown the door by a law enforcement officer, so that any responsibility to be had would NOT be mine.

Kristi - posted on 02/06/2013

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As I see it, you don't need any further advice. Shawnn spelled it out plain and simple. The only thing I might add is calling their parents, too, especially if you don't have a law enforcement official on sight. You knew they were drunk and still let them drive. You could still be held accountable. It sounds like you're planning on a very large number of people coming to this party, which would lead me to believe you're not doing too bad in the financial arena. Surely you can afford to hire an off duty cop.

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Crystal - posted on 02/05/2013

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You are the boss, she is 16 not 21. You set the rules. You have the right to through anyone out of the party that breaks the rules. You do not want to be the one responsible for some irresponsible teen doing things they aren't supposed to do. Be firm and don't worry if someone gets mad about it. Also, set the rules of the party in advance. No alcohol or dugs period, and nobody allowed under the influence. And taking only a few friends to dinner or to do something special is an option. She does not have to include everyone she knows. Out of that 15-20 people there are only a few, guaranteed that she is closest to, no matter what she may claim. Remember you are the boss and you set the rules, not your daughter or anyone else.

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