Teen in DFS custody...DFS not consulting me on meds....

Angie - posted on 07/04/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Not sure really where to post this, but have posted in this group previously on my out of control teen. After over a year, we have had no improvement and in March, when he was discharged from the psychiatric hospital with a 24 hour supervised recommendation & strongly recommended it was unsafe for him or me for him to return home, juvenile hotlined me to DFS (Division of Family Services) for abandonment for following the hospital's recommendation and refusing to pick him up.

My parental rights have not been terminated, but it has been determined by courts (and me) that I can't provide the care he needs so he is under DFS care and custody. I knew this was going to happen, but I have had several professionals tell me DFS has more resources than I can ever get my hands on, which is another reason for going this route.

DFS completely ignored the hospital's recommendation & my pleas on all his medical history and initially placed him in a foster home (least restrictive setting per their protocol). After 3 weeks, he stole 40 pills, then 3 pills, then foster mom's jewelry & had an incident with a butcher knife that he was refusing to put down. DFS left him there, giving him 1 more chance. He then stole a $700 camera from school and was arrested. He has now been placed in residential treatment as juvenile would not approve returning to the foster home, plus the foster parents didn't want him back, feeling he was beyond their capabilities.

According to my Parent Rights and Responsibilities packet from DFS, I have the right to be consulted on any medical; however, I found out DFS approved all 3 of his meds being increased last week without any consultation with me, one of them increased double the recommended dosage increase guideline. DFS worker said we rely on the doctor to do what is best. After 3 acute care facilities, 3 weeks in a group home, and almost 2 months of inpatient, he then spent 7 weeks in a Psychiatric Hospital for a complete med evaluation and med wash. His diagnosis is Conduct Disorder which there is no medicines to correct; the hospital was able to get him washed of all but 3, feeling these would assist him to pause before making his impulsive, irrational choices. Now a doctor who has seen him once has increased all 3 when I have had the doctor who sent him to the hospital say changing meds is like introducing baby food...one change at a time, because now if we see improvement or regression, which med change was it??

Has anybody had any experience dealing with DFS or Children's Division, whatever they are called in your state? I'm in Missouri & I am trying so hard to play this game to get my son the help he needs so he can come home happy, healthy and safe, but I am getting so frustrated with this system.

My DFS worker comes tomorrow for my "home visit" to check for running water & food in my fridge (what a joke!); she rescheduled this morning (yes on a holiday) our 8am visit to 7am that yes, I accommodated, just as I accommodated our last month visit scheduled for 4:15pm that she was over an hour late for. I plan on presenting her the facts I have on these meds & if she continues to refuse to consult me on changes, I'm addressing with the judge next week at court, who ordered the psychological testing, the psychiatric evaluation, and the psychiatric hospital as he was also concerned about my son's meds & wanted a complete medical evaluation. I'm trying very hard to work with them, but I can't at the expense of my son's health.....Any ideas?

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Diana - posted on 01/21/2013

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Im the granmother of a 10 year old boy who the school called juvey on for pulling a boys hair at school grandson is always being bullied because he's different childrens division took custody mom still has parental rights so they say he has app't at thompson center for testing of aspergers they put him in now three different behavioral centers regardless he has been knocked down beaten has been sucluded children with aspergers do not understand and he is picking up other behaviors from depression and giving up hope we have lawyers for us state app't his it's been two months now his lawyer has not even gone to meet him all he see is reports from case workers that don't even know what aspergers is we are helpless and can't do anything to help him we also are losing hope of ever getting him home we are desperate for help

Chaya - posted on 07/05/2012

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Your child is as much the victim as you are. I come from the parent being the abuser, which is not necessarily the case here. I'm not witnessing it, I have no means to make a call, nor should I.
I was diagnosed with Conduct disorder, I tried going on disability when I was 25 after I had a major physical illness, the illness got me on disability eventually, but social security and several mental health professionals (friends of mine) dispute the validity of that diagnosis as a diagnosis in general. I didn't help me get disability. I actually had to have a couple of strokes for that.
Be careful of any psychiatric drug, the side effects can be deadly.

Angie - posted on 07/05/2012

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If he does not successfully complete the residential care program, juvenile will send him to detention.....and Conduct Disorder is a psychiatric disorder that began with Oppositional Defiant Disorder...if he doesn't make improvement, he will be diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder at age 18; his behavior is very defiant, involving drugs, theft, verbal and physical violence. He has no fear of consequences; he has no fear of the police. It's more than him not having clear expectations; we had a level chart at home, we had a behavior contract, but if decides today it doesn't apply to him...watch out! This behavior began at home and has escalated to all the facilities he's been in with my search for help.

I did find out this morning that I have the right to be present at his psychiatrist appointment; however, DFS didn't even know he had an appointment & thought the doctor was on staff, which he is not. He visits once a month per my son. There apparently is a huge issue with the residential facility communicating information to DFS, and DFS is taking the next step to be contacting a supervisor there.

Hopefully, we will see some improvement because I am not letting up on this.

Chaya - posted on 07/04/2012

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Get a laywer (ACLU perhaps,) and your child one too. Charge them with kidnapping or have the child do so, if that' s the solution.

This hit a nerve with me because I was "Mentally ill:. My dad's wife wanted me to drop out of school to have babies so I could take care of my sisters children, although I was already emancipated three years before these decisions were made. I refused, therefore, I am clearly mentally ill. My dad was deaf, and only got the information his wife wanted him to get.

If the child is genuinly mentally ill, inpatient isn't necessarily the best way to go, but it may be. He can stay there until he's 18 or 21, depending on the state.

I ultimatly got my step mother declared incompetent, she has since passed. My sister isn't going to hold out much longer. She wants to live with me to save monies, she can try it.

ACLU is often free, it depends on your situation, not only financial.

Your kid needs help, but social services wouldn't know how to act in the best interest of a child if their lives depended on it.

Conduct disorder doesn't mean anything except the child isn't behaving in a manner someone is expecting of him, probably without making the expectations clear.

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