Teen Pregancy!

Rita_2_davey - posted on 09/14/2010

Is it possible that they may be frightened to hear what you have to say? Let them both know, especially your daughter that you love her and want to be a part of their lives'. You are afterall going to be "grandma" or "nanna".I'm sure that once they know that you are on their side they will have a change of heart. If they don't right now, they will. Tell them you are willing to help them and not put them down for all that has happened. I'm sure you were shocked to hear that she was pregnant. Let them know that this deeply upsets you not to be a part of their lives at this special time. If they will talk to you even over the phone, let your daughter know exactly how you feel without condemning them. What has happened is a fact of life and nothing you say or do will change that. They are going ahead with the pregnancy, so tell your daughter how terribly hurt you are and really and truly do not want to be left out of the picture. Once theyhear this I'm sure they will have a change of heart. May God bless you, you are a wonderful mom and a soon to be a very happy grandmother.

Tracy - posted on 09/13/2010

I was a teen parent. I was determined to do it all on my own. My suggestion is just be there to listen. Let them know that there is a standing offer to help **IF*** it's needed. I emphasize IF because you don't want to sound like you think they will ultimately need your help anyway. My parents always did that. "We are here for you WHEN things don't work out - not IF things don't work out. If she has the help and support of the baby's father, then let them do all they can on their own and be thankful that they aren't EXPECTING to lean on you! :) Although, it's nice as a mom to always know you are needed, right?? :)

Ali - posted on 09/01/2010

Im a teen mum and she wants to go at it alone so be a mum and let her and just be there for her when she needs you!

Adele - posted on 08/31/2010

I to have a pregnant teenager, although im lucky as she turn to me for help. Let your daughter and her boyfriend know you are there for them (no matter how you feel) and if they can come to you if they need support. offer with small things such as clothing for baby but dont go offering to buy the big things as this can be taken as interfering. Just be your self andbe there for support when things go wrong and beleave me more than likely they will go wrong .

Donna - posted on 08/31/2010

Help doesnt always come from doing things...it can come from lending a gentle ear, giving little gifts of the little things she wouldnt have thought of, and giving her a cuddle when she needs you.
You are a lovely mum that wants to help, just step back and be proud that you have created such a capable daughter and enjoy your new grandchild.

Marcella - posted on 08/29/2010

I'm happy to hear that she is 18 and assuming responsibilites for her new baby. You don't find a lot of teenagers that responsible. I know it's hard but just been her mental and emotional support when she needs it. Let her feel her independence and let her do it on her own. Just be there for her when she truly do need the help.

Tracey - posted on 08/28/2010

Oh I was in your daughter's same spot just 14 years ago! I was so stubborn about help, but my mom was so great and patient. She had a few slip-ups but she basically waited for me to ask when I really needed help. You have to let her try to do this on her own. She may surprise you! Just let her know that you will be there to help. She will know where to go when she needs the help. In the meantime, spoil that grandbaby with all kinds of love that only a grandma can give!!

Priscilla - posted on 08/28/2010

I say that probably the best thing you can do is respect her wishes and space at the moment. I think she is trying to establish a sense of independence. Believe me if you can try not to smother her with your caring, and I know that you do care about her or you wouldn't be asking, she will come to you at some point in time and ask for help. At the moment she might not think that she needs it. She will definitely let you know when she does.

Krystel - posted on 08/28/2010

Let her try it on her on. she'll be wanting ur help soon enough. I was 17 when i had my daughter and thought me & her deadbeat dad could do it and take care of her ourselves. But i relized about 18 after i split with her dad i couldnt do it alone. Then my mom & dad helped when needed. Matter of fact it brought us closer. She'll be coming toyou for ur help when she needs it. Believe me it was hard when i first had my daughter because my parents was way not to HAPPY at all& made it h--- on me.But i came to my sences. so will she.

Renee - posted on 08/27/2010

I have 5 kids, 3 married with kids and two teens. Only one teen left at home and she is 17 and 14 weeks pregnaut. It has been difficult to deal with sometimes. Her daddy is heart broken and a little mad still and I feel like I am playing the middle man. Chelsea knows she needs help as she just started her senior year and so did the babies father. But my daughter is very independant and strong willed and I know it's going to have some bumpy roads for us all. But I am standing back waiting for her to ask me for help , I dealt with this with my first child so I guess I have been here and done it before. My oldest got married and is still with her husband and has 3 kids now. It's scary to know they are so young and imature but I had my first at 19 and her and I are still very close. Trust in how you raised her, dont crowd her and PRAY, lol. Good luck to you.

Janelle - posted on 08/26/2010

Rita she may not want your help and I am sure this is very hard for you just let her know that you will help her and when she is ready for your help tell her to call you. I had my daughter when I was 19 and I dont think I could have gone through it without my mom. She was there for the delivery and I am SO glad she was. I wish you the best and that your daughter has a change of heart.My parents were less than thrilled that I was having a baby but they were there when I needed them =)

Renee - posted on 08/25/2010

Yes it can be hard but according to the law she is an adult now. Trust me when she goes into labor she will be yelling for her mommy! If you don't back off you will just push her further away. Let her have her space and she will call when she does need something. Relax and start knitting those baby blankets!

Peggie - posted on 08/19/2010

Have a heart to heart with them. It's possible that they see you as intrusive or overbearing even if it is unintended that way. Try to let them know you are trying to be supportive and would like to help them however they need. ASK them what they need help with. It may bridge teh gap between the two of you. Good luck mom!

Diamond - posted on 08/19/2010

Yes I feel Ms. Carol all the way...but me being 18 and thinking I''m grown I'm still going to need help from my mother even though I don't want it cause its my responsiblity.. because when he's not there then whois she going to call and want help from Her Mother..and if she is thinking about living on her own she might come back home with you cause its going to get real hard both her and her boyfriend going to be tired and need all the sleep and then the baby cries...Yeah she is going to need her mother not her boyfriend or her boyfriend's mother...

Carol - posted on 08/18/2010

Have you sat down with the two of them and asked them why they don't want your help? You might tactfully remind your daughter that at 18 she knows very little about having a baby since she is still very much a baby herself, proof is in the pudding mom with their refusing your help. What kind of help are you offering to give to them? Is it financial or are you wanting to buy things for your grandchild? If it is the latter then they should be willing to have you help them buy diapers, wipes, a crib, etc. Do either of them have a job? Is she still living at home with you? Do they plan on living together if she is still living at home with you? These are things that they need to consider before the baby arrives. When is the baby due? If you still have time before the baby arrives then get them to sit down with you mom and talk about this, find out too if they are getting any help from his parents. Like I said before mom their refusal to accept your help is childish on their part and they need to grow up and accept any and all help that is offered to them. GOOD LUCK I hope you can get somewhere with them soon.

Diamond - posted on 08/18/2010

Yeah she is going to be running to you either though she thinks she's grown. I just turned 18 and about to have my first baby in Feb and I need my mother's help because I'm not grown just yet...and no boy is going to have your back and help you like a mother would

Zatonda - posted on 08/15/2010

She is 18 and although that is young,she is old enough to do it on her own, if that is her wish take that into consideration, I promise she'll be running to you sooner than you think boyfriend or not.

Angie - posted on 08/15/2010

Good for her for taking responsibility for her child. She's an adult and you should respect her wishes and be proud that she's trying to do it on her own.