Teen's choices on clothing...

Evelyn - posted on 07/11/2013 ( 10 moms have responded )

3,540

7

873

I have a teenager who loves to pick out his own t-shirts. He has his favorite icons like a lot of other teens do. His favorite is the Grim Reaper. He also has a few shirts that have gargoyles and skulls on them as well. He is a good student, good kid, and is not much trouble. He does what is expected of him though like all teens he does have his moments. The problem is that his dad and step mom do not like that kind of style on clothing and have told him they do not want it in their house. He has gotten a some t-shirts with said icons on them. They have also said that those icons represent evil things too. I have no problem with his wearing this stuff and choose not to fight that battle. It is a phase he is going through and he could have decided on a lot worse things to do or even wear. I have also had chats with dad about this kind of icon on clothing but he still says it is evil. What is your thought or thoughts on this? Should a kid who is almost 17 have his say in his clothing choices?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/12/2013

9,214

21

2000

Evelyn, if dad doesn't like his clothing choices, then dad needs to pony up some cash for clothing that is "dad appropriate" and can be left for use at his dad's house.

Personally? I think dad is a tad too overcontrolling at this point, but I'm also fond of the "my house, my rules" thing, and your son does need to respect his dad's wishes in his home.

Jodi - posted on 07/11/2013

26,657

36

3891

Heck, my husband and I have t-shirts with skulls on them, LOL. At 17, I agree it is entirely his choice. My son has been purchasing his own clothes since he was 14, and I don't dictate what he has to have, I simply tell him that the money I give him must purchase at least this, this and this, and from there it is his choice.

This is not your battle. This is his father's battle. His father shouldn't expect you to fight his battles for him. If he has an issue with these clothes in his house, let him address it with your son. If I were you, I'd stay out of it.

Enna - posted on 07/11/2013

521

10

204

I agree with Jodi. If his dad doesn't want him to wear that stuff, I don't think he should wear it there (not because there's anything wrong with it, just out of respect). However, Dad needs to be forking over some cash for shirts that your son can wear there.

Gayle - posted on 07/14/2013

23

0

6

Good for you for respecting a young mans right make most of his own choices. He is not far away from adulthood, fighting over a t shirt seems silly. He is a young man, not a child. Support your son but this is not your batte. This is between them.

Good luck.

Jodi - posted on 07/11/2013

26,657

36

3891

Well, if dad wants rules about clothes in his house, he needs to provide them and he needs to stop making it your problem. The issue is between he and his son, he needs to keep it that way.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

10 Comments

View replies by

Sandra - posted on 07/13/2013

96

1

13

Evelyn I understand! It is so hard attempting to co-parent. I have dealt w/h it for 11 years. Not easy.

Good luck!

Evelyn - posted on 07/12/2013

3,540

7

873

Sandra,

Though I love that idea, my son won't put on anything pink or girly. But I do get the point. I have told my son he could all of a sudden decide to be gothic. His dad would go nuts.

Ladies,

I hear what you say about things like respect and all but that has to go both ways. There is a certain respect my son does have for his father but his father does not show him much respect in return and I think it goes both ways. Their relationship has not been the best of one since my son was a baby. Lets just say that father bascially would not want anything to do with him a lot of the time. It made its impact on my son. Also, my son's delays and other issues had a lot to bear on the situation too. And when his dad decided that was it and married again 2x after me he never would give my kids time with him alone. Just the one on one would have made a difference. My son is nearly 17. I think he is old enough to chose for himself and also he is a great kid, though he does have his moments like most do. So until his dad can show him some respect too, I do not think the relationship is going to get much better. I am not going to go into step mom. My son has never cared for her and she knows it but he has given her that certain amount of respect as in being respectful when she has been that way with him.

Evelyn

Sandra - posted on 07/12/2013

96

1

13

Hmmm, let's see! Oh I absolutely know what you can do...(although you will have to get your son "on board" with it. Next time your son visits the Dad send him over in either a "girly" or glittery tank or tee. If it is PINK that is even better! Your son can just say he is turning over a "new leaf!"

If your son will not agree there is a website called Johnny cupcakes...pick out one of those t-shirts...similar idea, but not as much "in your face."

Oh, last thing....before anyone says I am being politically incorrect or poking fun at a certain demographic...my own son is gay.

Maybe the father & step-mom will shut up on the skulls. Hahaha just an idea!


Good luck ;o)

Evelyn - posted on 07/11/2013

3,540

7

873

It is is dad's battle but at the same time I do know about it. He is not hurting anyone and the other kids have asked the parents as they are called at that house to chill out that my son is not doing anything to anyone. Its a shirt. I think that his dad and step mom over react on a lot of issues and some of them are major decisions that are made by me and dad where she has no say. I do not think it hurts anyone and the only ones throwing a fit are the "parents."

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms