teen sibling tired of dealing with special needs brother

Lisa - posted on 04/07/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I have a 15 and 10 with special needs my 15 is normally very awesome with him though the last few wks she gets very upset and frustrated that he doesnt have to preform like everyone his own age when she knows he is not mentally his own age im doing everything i can think of the try to make the situation better for everyone but my son is and we have to deal with what god has given us a beautiful child

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Vonnetta - posted on 03/13/2012

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i am in the same situation its just that im the only one that is dealing with my child by myslf and its takin a toll on me and when i take him to functions lik the circus he goes off becuz its over how do you deal with that becuz i dont want to choke the you know what out him. becuz it can happen.

Louise - posted on 04/15/2010

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I think children do not see physical and mental problems with other children until there teens and then they just seem to want to rebel the "why me" syndrome. I think your daughter is realising that her sibling is not going to be albe to give her the relationship that she wants as an adult. It is a difficult time for your daughter as the hormones are rageing. Be patient she will soon realise that her going off the rails is not helping you or her sibbling. She will in time calm down and just accept that the situation is not going to change. She will, I promise come back to being the big sister again.

Tracy - posted on 04/13/2010

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The hospital I work for has a camp in the summer for special needs kids that live in Texas. It is a 5 day camp, and nurses, doctors, physical therapists and occupational therapists attend the camp with the kids. This camp gives the special needs kids a good lesson in gaining independence, while it gives the parents and siblings without special needs a break from the daily routines and responsibilities they face daily. Perhaps your daughter just needs a break from having to modify her life for your son. The two of you need time together, and she needs to have a break from any responsibilities that she has helping with your son. It doesn't mean she doesn't love him, or loves him any less, it just means that we all get tired of life from time to time and need a vacation - some kind of different scenery, activities, or interaction with people. Change is often very good for us! I hope you are able to find a way to create time to be with your daughter and take advantage of camps like this.

Felicia - posted on 04/07/2010

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I have a 16 and 17 year of daughters. My 16 year old has cerebral palsy. I know how you feel and for the "typical" child, they are sometimes overwhelmed and feel somewhat neglected. We, moms, don't intend to play favorites, just our special needs child needs us more. What I have been doing over the years is maybe 1-2 times a month, me and my 17 year old have our time together, just us and she loves it. I get a relative or respite to watch my 16 year old daughter for a couple of hours and me and my 17 year old got to the mall, out to eat, or just hang out. I agree we are blessed with both worlds. Hope that helps.

Paula - posted on 04/07/2010

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it is hard i know i have two myself your other child is just going threw a stage i dont think he/she is doing it to be mean i think once he/she gets a little older she will regret the things she has said or done but for now why not sit her/him down and tell her straight out how it is the more open you are with your child the better understanding they will have! gd luck to you

Jane - posted on 04/07/2010

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Give your 15 year old a break. She is still a child and needs to a) not be responsible for her brother all the time (if this is the case at all), b) be allowed to be a little jealous sometimes because I'm sure your son gets more attention than her just based on the circumstances and c) be allowed to verbalize her feelings about all of it. At 15, you canNOT expect her to be always loving and forgiving. It doesn't mean she doesn't understand the situation or love her brother but at 15, her mind is not mature enough to always be on her best behavior with regards to all of this.

Brenda - posted on 04/07/2010

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Hey there,

I have a situation similar to yours. I have a 15 year old stepdaughter and a 13 year old stepdaughter. The 13 year old is special needs. Her sister does get annoyed with her that she gets to do things at school other kids don't. Between her and my daughter 17 they cause unnessisary drama between them and her. They know she can't help how she is and will be the first ones in line when someone isnt treating her right to tell them to back off. I like you do the best I can and we just have to take one day at a time and deal with what we have been dealt.

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