teenage son going out with 12 year ol

Kathy - posted on 01/21/2010

I would just make it hard to communicate with her. Telephone cell phone if you tell your child not to do something he most likely will hide it let him no you are not happy with his decision and keep him busy . What are the parents of her thinking thats crazy i would never let my daughter date someone of that age my daughter is 13. Its most likely a fad. good luck!!

Sheena - posted on 01/20/2010

thank you everyone for your comments,at least i have found out by your comments,that i am doing the right thing by not let him see her,he has told me he finished it after i had a go at him on the phone,yes i am very strick with him,till a point,the girl is now telling my stepdaughter who is 19 that she is going out with 25year old,really think her mother needs a new brain,wouldnt be my daughter,which i am glad that my daughters are 19 and 21 now,i never had problems with them,they didnt go out till they was near 18years,they had there friends,but boyfriends was a no no,boys are different,i have 6 kids of my own my oldest son is 25 and i never had any bother with him,my 15 has been hanging around with the wrong crowd,i have told him if i so much as catch him near the girl i will make sure his life would be trouble,the girl came to my door looking for my stepdaughter who is also 19,she got a right talking too from me,told her she has nothing till do with my son or i would get police infolved,so far it has worked as she doesnt text him or anything,if she doesnt i will go and see her parents which would be waste of time,as for her staying away from my son i cannot stop her at school as they start high school here at the age of 12 and finish when 16,also when he is 16 he is classed as adult in scotland,but he will still go under my rules,as long as he is under our roof thank you again

Lianne - posted on 01/19/2010

I do not think it is a good idea and would not allow my almost twelve year old SD date a 15 year old. Too much can happen, especially if they live in the same town and go to the same school.

Sherri - posted on 01/19/2010

Honey this is a tough situation but you are not alone in this.





My own son is doing the same thing he is 16 and she Just turned 14.

Everybody in the family has told him she is too young but he keeps running back to her like she is the Only girl in the world.

Its hard to 'not allow' something when he keeps it all to himself and parents only hear about it when there is trouble.

The way I saw it is even if I forbid him to see her he would just start sneaking around.

He has already done so and promised her he would do so again, that NO-ONE could keep them apart.

This 'little girl' my boy is seeing has dumped him TWICE for his friends and he keeps crawling back to her and begging like a dog for her to take him back.

Personally it makes me sick the way he acts around her.



If you find a solution, Please let me know for I've done All I can.

Timi Jane - posted on 01/19/2010

Hi Sheena, I think it would be a bad idea. In some states if a 14 year old was dating a 12 year old and if they were to kiss or be promiscuous your son could be charged with rape. Always tell your teens to stay in his or her age group. If something was to happen it could change your and your son's life forever. I have a 12-year-old daughter and if it were my daughter I would not allow it. However you stated that the girls’ family is not a good one. That is clue one, stay far away; it will only bring heart ach. Go with your gut feelings and keep your son safe. If the 12 year old is allowed to date a 15 year old, then more than likely she is promiscuous. I am only basing my thoughts by what you have stated, I don’t know this girl or her family, but if what you say is right, I think you already know that right answer. I wish you well.

Timi Jane

Courtney - posted on 01/17/2010

That is very scary. A dangerous game for your son to be playing. She is to young for him. and it is a hard situation for you to be put it, because if you put your foot down he may rebel more, but I think I might do just that. Put my foot down, grown him, take it all away, say NO MORE!!!!!!!! You could end up in trouble, it could change your life forever. I don't want that for you because I love you and I have to do this the hard way sorry! Wow, I'm sorry to hear you have such a hard situation. I wish you the best!

Annmarie - posted on 01/17/2010

sounds like he does not even like her. so ask him why he would even date someone "just to get her off his back" Why doesn't he just tell her that he has a "two year rule" most teens accept that they do not date those either two years younger or older than themselves. After stating this he should have as little contact with her as possible eventually she will find someone else to focus her attention on.

Angie - posted on 01/17/2010

I agree with your Sheena, he shouldn't play with other's feelings. In my family, our children aren't allowed to date anyone until they are 16 and they're not allowed to date anyone younger than 16. You might need to let him know again that this is inapporpriate for several reasons and you're not going to allow it to continue. Good luck, this is a tough situation for you.

Tracey - posted on 01/17/2010

If this family is trouble do you really want to antagonise them by letting your son mess with their daughter? If a girl treated him this way he would be upset abnout being used so he shouldn't treat her like that.

Glory - posted on 01/17/2010

Do not allow that to happen...all you need is a grand-baby and her moving in..I don't know how much control you have on your 15 year old. Depending of the type of relationship you have with your son, will play a really big roll on this situation..When my son was fifteen(now 21) Monday through Friday was strickly school, I gather your son is in High School which means she is not there, so that should be easy for you. Remember he is a minor, and you have every right to tell him he is not to see her, or he will loose his previleges, like maybe hanging out with his friends, which means he is hanging out with her. That's the part you need to control..get a handle on this, because in three years he will be 18 and the law states, that they are adults, and you will have no say when he is 18...In my opinion, is not too good to give our kids too much indepence, because they don't know how to use especialy when they are teenagers....they can really get in to trouble...remember at his age I know he thinks he is a big kid, but the reality is, he is still a kid..and the good thing is you can guide him in the right direction,,,,12 year old girlfriend is scary,,,let him know not to play with that girls head, all she needs to do is make false accusations, and believe me 15 year old or not...he will find himself in alot of trouble...now a day you don't have to be eighteen....to be in trouble,,,,my friend told me about her sister in-law and her 16 year old son, dating a 13 year old...when things did not go her way she made tons of accusations, yes he is fine know, but what that family went through, is unforgiveable

Ren - posted on 01/17/2010

Nope, you are not alone.. My daughter turned 13 just 3 months ago.. If she told me she was dating a 15 year old I would have a heart attack! Then probably lock her in a closet until she was 16 (kidding)..

Sheena - posted on 01/17/2010

thank you ren,thats the way i feel,they are too young as well as what they are like,thought i was being hard on him,he told me he doesnt even like the girl,so why go out,he has said that he finished it as i said to him till not go out,i dont know to believe him or not,as i lost my trust in my son ages ago with all the lies ect he has done,thank you again at least am not alone

Ren - posted on 01/17/2010

I would not allow it if it were my child.