Teenager talking back

Mary - posted on 11/10/2008

my son latly has had a mouth on him he just trunned 14 and he thinks now he is a grown up.. people who talk to him and see him love him to death and everyon in his school [teachers] say he is nothing but resceptfull to them.. But he seems to have a mouth whn he gets mad at me my husband or his sister.. We try to give both of our children everything we can and my son bases himself on his sports he loves football and has his plan laid out for himself.. Maybe it is to much for him or is he just going through homones.. Thx for listening mary

Julie - posted on 11/07/2008

I have a 14 year old son, who has tested the waters of being disrespectful to me. If i feel he is being disrespectful I immediately point it out to him and explain that it is not an acceptable behavior. How would you like me to treat you that way? He is more understanding and tries to verbalize what is bothering him in a constructive manner since getting an attitude does not benefit anyone.

Lisa - posted on 11/07/2008

Oh my, this sounds exactly like my situation. I have the problem with my 13 and 14 year olds. I wish I had some advice for you, but I am also trying to get advice on this. If you find something that works or get some great advice, please pass it on. Good luck!!

Keisha - posted on 11/07/2008

Take things away from him and tell him until he learns how to respect you than your not giving them back... that include all of his fav things. cell phone, computer, outings... My daughter tried pulling this one and i cleared out her room. it took about 3 weeks because she thought i would give in. i didnt and shes been cool ever since!

Trudy - posted on 11/07/2008

I agree with Arlene! We have always talked to our son openly. If he mumbles something under his breath, we make him say it outloud. Let him know that he can talk to you about anything and everything without judgement. Advice, yes ... but no judgement! My husband and son butt heads often, but I think it's because they are too much alike and both have to have the last or final word. Remember your son has only been here 13 years and being a teen is hard ... wanting freedom, but still needing mom and dad .... wanting to make his own choices, but afraid of failing. Listen first and foremost. Sometimes they don't want answers or advice, just someone to listen.

Arlene - posted on 11/06/2008

I always found with my kids that punishing them never worked it made them more rebellious!!! I found talking to them worked far better!!!Communication is the key and try to empathize with them ....remember how you felt at that age.

Anissa - posted on 11/06/2008

I do not have a 13 year old boy (yet), but my daughter is 13. She doesn't talk back, but my husband and I get attitude on occasion, might be the difference between boys and girls.

The one thing that has worked for us (so far) is to remind her that we are not the kids at school, and we will not be spoken to that way. If he were to talk that way to a teacher he would likely end up in the office sooner or later. Remind him that respect is a two way street... If he wants something he's not going to get it being difficult. Somtimes we need to meet in the middle.

Ask if there are problems with friends or bullies at school? Sometimes my daughter is nasty to her brother because of something out of her control (ie. someone picking on her) and after we talk it out and help her through dealing with it, she feels better. Boys tend to not want to talk about things, but hopefully you can get through.

Good Luck!

Isn't life with teenagers Grand?! ;p