TEENAGERS, GRIEF, & LOSING A PARENT TO CANCER

Shelby - posted on 07/15/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hi,



I'm new to the group. I thought I would try here to see if anyone had any ideas.



My daughter lost her Father in 2005 to cancer & she never really dealt with it. We have talked about it, she has talked about it to her cousin, but she still has a really hard time with it. She is very angry at her Dad & has blocked out a lot of her memories of him. She doesn't quite know how to deal with that.



We just found out that my Aunt has cancer & it is really affecting her even more.



My daughter is very shy & has a hard time getting to know anyone. She is scared of letting someone get close because she is scared that they are going to leave her again.



Does anyone on here know of any online grief groups for teenagers?



I've tried the American Cancer Society but they haven't really been able to help. My daughter keeps telling me that no one understands what she is going through. I keep telling her that there are other teens out there that have lost a parent & we just have to find them.



Thank you!!

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Luanne - posted on 07/15/2009

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Hi Shelby,



I don't really know about any online support groups for grieving teenagers...BUT...I suggest you look up davidkessler.org. David is my old boss and I know that his books would help you and your daughter (you read them first). There is also another really great book that you should read that will help you help your daughter. It's called "When Children Grieve" and it's by John W. James, Russell Friedman, and Dr. Leslie Matthews.



I am a Hospice nurse and so I suggest that you look into some of your local Hospice agencies and see if they have a social worker who runs a Grief Support Group for kids. We have a very successful support group for children who have lost a parent or loved one called "I Count Too."



If you email, David Kessler from his website, he may have some good suggestions for you as well.



Good Luck...and I applaud you for wanting to help your daughter. There ARE other teens out there who have lost a parent or close loved one. So hang in there. :-)



Luanne

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Gloria - posted on 07/17/2009

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Hello Shelby,



I don't know of any support groups but I am sure there has to be one, if not maybe you and your daughter can start one. It sounds like a very healthy idea. Try to keep the communication open with your daughter, so she doesn't fall into a deep depression especially since you say she is shy and wont open up to anyone. Sounds to me like you allready know her fears and why she refuses to get close to people. So just hang in there. Keep looking for help. I am 51 and one of my parents was dealing with cancer and I was having a hard time dealing with it as well. My prayers go out to you and your daughter.

Shelby - posted on 07/15/2009

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Thank you very much!! I will check out the books & website that you mentioned.

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