Teens and their sexuality

Denise - posted on 05/04/2010 ( 18 moms have responded )

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I wouldl like to know how many moms have had the "talk" with their teen age kids and at what age you did that? And how much did you tell them?

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TONI - posted on 06/16/2010

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MY DAUGHTER IS SIXTEEN NOW ! BUT I HAD THE SEX TALK WITH HER WHEN SHE WAS SEVEN YEARS OLD!! AND KEPT ON TALKING ABOUT IT UP UNTIL NOW! THATS WHY SHE IS STILL A VIRGIN!!! I TOLD HER EVERY THING, AND DIDNT SUGAR COAT IT AT ALL!! I EVEN TOLD HER MANY NEGATIVE THINGS THAT SHE MAY HEAR JUST FROM BEING AROUND SOME BAODY THAT IS SEXUALLY ACTIVE AND HAVE A FOUL MOUTH!! YOU HAVE TO PREPARE YOUR KIDS FOR THESE TYPE OF THINGS!! DONT MAKE SEX SOUND LIKE ITS SUCH A HORRIBLE THING!! STRESS TO THEM HOW INPORTANT IT IS FOR THEM TO PROTECT THEM SELVES!!!! MAKE THEM FEEL AS IF THEY HAVE A CHOICE INSTEAD OF THREATS!! GIVE THEM THE PROS AND CONS OF SEX TOO!! HOPE I WAS HELPFUL!!

Tochukwu - posted on 05/18/2010

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I have a 16yr old daughter. I had the "talk" with her in her pre-teen say when she was 9 - 11. I told her everything she needs to know about her body and how important it is for her to wait until she is an adult before she can have sex siting marriage as an example. I also told her that any boy that wants to have sex with her right now doesnt care about her & her future so she should watch out and be smart! I hope this helps.

Tracey - posted on 05/17/2010

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I told my kids the basics form a very young age and gave more details the older they got. Does your school have sex ed, if so you should talk to them before that or they will hear all sorts of rubbish from classmates.
If you don't feel comfortable talking to them get a book aimed at their age group.

Brenda - posted on 05/16/2010

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I think it was 10 or 11 with my daughter also. I have answered any and of her questions openly and honestly. It worked, she now tells me just about everything including some things you might not want to hear mom, but you have to run with ball when it's in your court.

Kelly - posted on 05/14/2010

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My daughter lives w/her grandparents, so her grandmother has been dealing w/having the 'talk' w/her.
My stepdaughter just turned 14 last month and has had a couple of boyfriends. The last one was a bit more serious than the others. They kissed and there was some groping that went on between them. He ended up breaking up w/her and breaking her heart. She talks to me about things before she talks to her mom. We discussed what had gone on between them and she was upset that she gave her first real kiss to him, because he only ended up hurting her. That opened the door for me to share with her how I should've watied and not had sex until I was older, and I was 17. She listened to what I had to say and shared her feelinbgs on the subject with me. An open and honest approach semed to work well for us. All the best.

Phoebe - posted on 05/14/2010

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I'm a single mom and always have been. I too started with my daughter at an early age ... before puberty. She's 16 now. Our conversations are honest, frank, and open! Its been wonderful for us both. We talk about everything. They need the truth. She's shared so much about what her and friends talk about .. much of which isn't accurate at all!. At one point she asked me if I'd talk with her friends too. Some do not have anyone at their homes to talk to, so I consented. That too has been wonderful, and I feel helpful for them and insightful for me. Be honest!! Even if it gets personal and into your private side. They relaly need it. We've talked about all, including masturbation (alone adn with others) and being physical with other women. All of it honest and open .... Trust me they appreciatged al the honest info they could get ...
I had to learn "from the streets" adn I now know most of what I heard was off base. My daughter and her friends have told me they feel much more knowledgeable about sex than their friends and can make good decisions because of it.

Telika - posted on 05/09/2010

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me,i talked to them early like at 7 but w/limitations.my soon to be 15 yr old,i talked to him at 12 w/o limitations,soo around 12 shoukd be w/o the limitations,better from you then from someoneelse and they will feel comfortable coming to you about anything w/o you having to snoop,lol good luck

Ginny - posted on 05/09/2010

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I started talking with my oldesst at the age of 10 will start with my youngest about the same age She just turned 9 so we will talk soon....My philosophy is to tell them the truth, because if they find out that you didn't tell them the truth they will have a hard time coming back to you...Be open and honest.

Sherri - posted on 05/08/2010

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I explained to my now 13 yr old at 12 everything. I explained what sex was, how you have it. The consequences if you do. He was pretty much horrified. However, it needed to be done. We are pretty strict he will not be allowed to date for quite a while but really doesn't have any interest in girls yet. However, I wanted him to be prepared.

Annette - posted on 05/06/2010

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I too had the talk with my boys at 11years of age. I have always been very open about sexuality & have tried to instil in them a sense that it is just a normal part of life, to be respected like everything else. They have never been afraid to ask all manner of questions & I don't mind answering them. I'd rather have them know the truth than some schoolyard myth. you should hear some of the rubbish other boys come out with, they obviously have no clue. What are their parents thinking?

Ashley - posted on 05/06/2010

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I was always very open and honest with all my kids about sex, even at preteen ages. I think it's the right thing to do in todays society. Things in todays society regarding sex has changed so much since I was younger so I've tried to NOT apply how things were applied to myself and my siblings by our parents.

Ginger - posted on 05/05/2010

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i started talking with my sons at a early age. as they have gotten older their questions have gotten a little more detailed, i have always made it clear that my kids can ask me anything and i would give them an honest answer, and i have. sometimes you dont want to answer the questions but i would rather my kids get info from me so that they will be safe than get it from someone else. good luck with a uncomfortable subject!

Louise - posted on 05/05/2010

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My husband had the initial chat with our sons about the age of 11 as they were about to do sex education at school. As they have got older we have open conversations around the dinner table and we both answer as best we can. I like to think they could ask me anything and they have asked me some really interesting questions. But mum is unshockable! My boys are now 18 and 16 so I think the worst is over. Now I have to decide when and what to tell my daughter. I have pleanty of time to think though as she is only 18 months!

Denise - posted on 05/05/2010

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Kylie, thanks for your reply, I also have been talking to both of them, more so with my daughter, but my son too of late....

Angie - posted on 05/04/2010

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I started talking about sex and sexuality at an early age. The conversations continue and grow more in depth as they age. The result is my 17 year old son can ask me questions without being shy. The best thing, he belongs to a group at school called SACA - Students Advocating and Choosing Abstinence. This group goes the the elemenatary and middle schools and talks about abstinence from sex, drugs, and alcohol! So... start the conversations early and have them often!

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I started the chat at eleven with my eldest daughter and I told her about sex, drugs and drinking. Afterwards I said the if she ever wanted to ask me anything she could, and she often came back with questions about things she heard from school. I am very open with my children about sex as I find its important that they get the correct information from home and so they know they can come to me with anything. Just be open and truthful I feel that is the best way. I now have my second daughter who just turned eleven and we are going to have a chat about sex, drugs and alcohol.

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