Texting vs conversation

Dianna - posted on 11/04/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My 14 year old daughter texts excessively. Seems she is always texting someone. Here is my delima...she is getting all A's in school, doesn't miss homework assignments and runs XC in high school and does very well at that.

I really want to teach her to use verbal conversation more than texting...Any suggestions. I wish I could limit the # of texts by phone, but we are on a family plan and have unlimited because there are 4 of us in the family. Texting is also a vital way for me to get ahold of her from practices, etc.

I've recently talked to her about the fact that she texts others when she has friends over and how it's not polite...but she doesn't see it as a problem, because she says everyone does it. Am I too picky? I do know I am blessed by her in so many other ways.

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Deana - posted on 11/12/2009

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I agree with Dianna ,if this is your only problem with her then you are very blessed ! I think this is a part of the age we are in. I have lots of 30ish moms who text all the time as well. I dont mind, its part of multi tasking.

Keisha - posted on 11/12/2009

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I would say lets set aside time each day/week where we talk to each other. I dont think your being picky. My daughter texts and never uses the phone either but Tuesdays is our day to talk and hang out with each other. Saturdays too...

Shelly - posted on 11/10/2009

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Dianna,

If thats your biggest problem with her then count yourself blessed....You need to quit sweating the small stuff...

DaNita - posted on 11/09/2009

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our family texts a lot too. especially our teens. and they do need to learn when it is not okay to text and when it is. for example my mom does not like the boys to text at the dinner table, so they dont. i have also not allowed them to text in class, or church. they dont. if her friends are texting and with her at the same time and they dont mind, why should you? now if she is ignoring and not being a good hostess, that is different. honestly, just let it run its course...... it could be worse. she could be into drugs, sex, .........

Shannon - posted on 11/08/2009

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Texting & teens My daughter also has a bad habit of texting. She is a good student does not text during dinner, etc.. but I am concerned with her being able to communicate face to face with others at some point. She is always asking me how she should take things that are texted to her. she cannot read the emotion in these texts. I like texting her to let her know I miss her, love her, etc... when she is away so I do not want to take away these privileges, but wonder if this form of communication can really make up for face to face contact and/or if this is a way for shy people to be able to communicate with people in a way that lets them be themselves with others with out being uncomfortable with face to face contact. Plus, some kids just feel they have to respond because someone texted them. They think it is rude if it is not timely or responded to immediately. I think they should use the texting to teach there friends proper manners by letting their texting buddies know that they are not available at certain times and it that they should not text during certain times of the day & that your daughter can only accept so many texts per day so make it good. When the texting time is up the conversation should end for at least 1 to 2 days.

LAVON - posted on 11/08/2009

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Hey Dianna,
My son 15 same way. It never changes, I wanted to take away his phone too. He's always on MySpace so what's the sense really? I have learned alot from this site about teenage kid's all over. Hope yours gets better. Aloha, Lavon

Holly - posted on 11/05/2009

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Dianna, We were having the same problem - with our boys, 17 and 14. We sat down as a family and made ground rules. These included no cell phones while eating dinner since we eat as a family, that's when we talk together and catch up on our day. We also have them turn their phones off at bedtime. At one point we had to move the charger for our 14 year-old into our room to make sure. They are not allowed to text if we are shopping, in line to pay for anything, or at a resturant (even if we are waiting). As long as her grades continue to be where you deem approprate and the work is done well, I wouldn't be concerned. As a teacher I know we stress that writing correctly is something colleges look for and state and national tests require. If you are concerned about her abilities to communicate with others becoming impared, ask her teachers / school and coaches about the phone policies. It may be that she is only texting at certain times - when she is with you, so it feels like it's all the time. It helped to make the rules with the kids because they ended up enforcing them on each other - just be prepared because they will also infore them on you as well. I hope this helps and good luck!

Lori - posted on 11/04/2009

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Dianna, my story/concerns are the exact same X 2. A 14 and 16 year old daughter. Just when I thought I should just give up on the lectures and recite the serenity prayer to myself. My 16 year old daughter's boyfriend broke up with her via a text message. Preceded by a series of misunderstandings from...you quessed it...text messages. Her pain taught her a valuable lesson about the lack of humanity caused by excessive text messaging. She is teaching her younger sister to stop relying on text as the only means of communication. You can hear someones tone, intent and heart when you hear their voice or better yet, see their eyes. She had to learn the hard way :(

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