Thinking of having another baby

Nicole - posted on 02/21/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Here lately I have really been giving some thought to having another child. I currently have a 16 year old step son and a 4 year old natural son. I am 29 and I will be 30 at the end of this year. My husband is 42 and will turn 43 at the end of this year. I really feel that we are racing the clock if we are going to have any more children. We were going to wait till my 4 year old turned 5 but now I don't know if I want that big of a gap betweent them as it will take almost a year for the baby to arrive anyway. Plus, there is already such a huge gap between the two boys now. I have not made a concrete decision yet and I was just wondering what other's thoughs were on this topic since we will soon be sending one to college and are looking at starting ALL over again!

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Sherri - posted on 02/24/2012

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I have a 15yr old, 13yr old, 5yr old and I just had our 4th boy a week ago. I am 40, my husband is 42.



My recommendation is just do it when you are ready.

Marnie - posted on 02/24/2012

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Hi there! I think it is so exciting to start all over! little ones bring such an awesome energy and joy to a family. I was a single mom for 14 years before I met my now husband. My son will be turning 16 this year and we just had our first baby together in October. I can't tell you what a blessing our new little guy is to all of us. I just turned 38 in Feb and my husband is 35. So I wouldn't worry too much yet about your clock. We are hoping to have another in a year or 2. And since i first found out I was pregnant I heard story after story of very similar scenarios. Lots of families with big gaps between sibs and I think it just works out great that way. My son is an awesome big brother. So go for it when your ready. :) And have a blast! This is the only life you have and family is the cherry on top! :) God bless you and your family. :)

Cheyenne - posted on 02/23/2012

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Hahaha well I am 36 and my son will turn 18 in 3 weeks, and my daughter is 6 months :) None in between. I was really worried about being an older mum, but it is lovely. My son was there as well as my husband during the tiring labour. He is already very protective of his little sister, it's lovely to see. So I have one starting on solids and one starting tertiary. It's a very personal choice, because it is starting all over again, but I wouldn't change a thing. Good luck with your decision.

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Nicole - posted on 02/24/2012

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Thanks guys! I really appreciate all of you giving advice! It is nice to know that you are not alone in some cases, like having children with larger age gaps. I was an only child so I have no experience with siblings or age differences myself. My husband and I have been talking about this for a few days and I think we are going to try to conceive sometime around August. This way we have some time to plan, maybe save :), make sure this is what we really want, and that way (hopefully) I will have a baby close to the end of the school year since I'm a teacher.

Nicole - posted on 02/24/2012

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Thanks Cheyenne! Technically I wouldn't be starting ALL over again because my teenager is my step-son so I didn't have him when he was a baby, only when he was about 11 did he come to live with us. My first child is currently 4 so not too far away from a baby. Sometimes I worry about how my 16 year old will handle us having a new baby, I don't want him to think that we are trying to rush him out of our house when we have another child. I know that will be something we have to discuss. My husband and I have been talking extensively about the issue and we believe that we will work on trying for another one :) We are hoping to concieve sometime around August!

Nicole - posted on 02/21/2012

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Sofia, my heart strings are defiantly wanting another baby! I think it has a lot to do with the fact that most of my girl friends are pregnant or have recently had a baby and that makes me want a baby even more! At first we were thinking of adopting since we really want a baby girl and that is the only way to have a gaurentee, however, I know adoption can take a long time and I really want my 4 year old to be closer in age to another baby. Plus, I want a BABY not a toddler but a baby. I am still thinking of waiting till later this year but my maternal instincts have defiantly been kicking in recently.

Brittney - posted on 02/21/2012

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My mom was 43 when she had me, my youngest brother is 17 years younger than me, my oldest sister is 23 years older than me. I'm 19 years old and I'm a great aunt...

Sofia - posted on 02/21/2012

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I think it's one of those things that really depend on what you and your partner want out of your life.

Personally, I was very excited when my teen daughter was old enough to start taking care of her own basic needs and I was able to get a social life again. I started taking Zumba classes, going out with old girlfriends on the weekends, just really enjoying my life.

Then I met a wonderful man with 2 young daughters. I decided to let go of some of my personal freedom to become a mommy again. I no longer go to the bathroom without a little voice saying "mommy mommy" hahaha. It's all part of parenthood. Would I do it any differently? No I dont think so. I love my stepkids. But do I want more children after that? Most likely not. I appreciate motherhood, but also appreciated having more personal freedom.

So it's really up to you and your partner. Are you ready to start exploring yourself and what you can do without the demands of a baby? Or are your heart strings tugging to hold another baby? Dont forget the the 4 year old is still small and will still need alot from you for several more years.

Sofia - posted on 02/21/2012

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I think it's one of those things that really depend on what you and your partner want out of your life.

Personally, I was very excited when my teen daughter was old enough to start taking care of her own basic needs and I was able to get a social life again. I started taking Zumba classes, going out with old girlfriends on the weekends, just really enjoying my life.

Then I met a wonderful man with 2 young daughters. I decided to let go of some of my personal freedom to become a mommy again. I no longer go to the bathroom without a little voice saying "mommy mommy" hahaha. It's all part of parenthood. Would I do it any differently? No I dont think so. I love my stepkids. But do I want more children after that? Most likely not. I appreciate motherhood, but also appreciated having more personal freedom.

So it's really up to you and your partner. Are you ready to start exploring yourself and what you can do without the demands of a baby? Or are your heart strings tugging to hold another baby? Dont forget the the 4 year old is still small and will still need alot from you for several more years.

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