unappropriate remarks

Angie - posted on 02/02/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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my hubbie took our daugher(15) and her friends to a Gasparilla Fest. At this fest there were ladies showing their boobs! So my hubbie turned to the girls, and said "don't you girls do that ok?"
My daughter's friend took this as a sexual remark, and told her mother. Now my daughters best friend is no longer allowed to come to our house because mom is scared that my husband is some sort of creep. But he only meant well. So I told my daugher that then she is also not allowed over there anymore, because I don't want her to be with people who think bad of us. Now she's mad at me, says I'm punishing her.
I don't know what to do. I've tried to get the other mom to talk with my husband, my husband called, but she will not speak to him, he wanted to clarify the situation. So now what? I don't want my daugher to lose her friend.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/02/2011

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I agree with Jane. Either this woman is super sensitive, or her daughter did NOT give her the full context of the conversation. Have you spoken with the rest of the girls, including your daughter? Would your husband have made a comment that could be out of line?

I'd have a face to face with her. Find out what she was told, tell her what happened, and if she still thinks there is a problem with the father of one of her daughter's friends telling her (along with the rest of the teenagers he was chaperoning) NOT to be stupid like the *ladies* they were witnessing, then I'd say there were other issues.

As far as letting your daughter hang out with the other girl, explain it to her again. If this girl's mother doesn't respect your family, it is bound to come across in the way she is treated at their house. Does she want to be the subject of speculation? My experience is that if someone is that quick to holler "sexual abuse", they've either suffered it as a child, or are a predator themselves. Do you really want your daughter exposed to the type of one-sided opinions that can result? I wouldn't.

Jane - posted on 02/02/2011

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Well, it's obvious that if the statement was what you say, then it wasn't communicated to the girls mother that way. If I were the mom, and I were told that, I'd be thanking your husband. So, I THINK what has to be determined is is that what he really said OR what did the girl actually tell her mother. I'd go knock on the door and ask to speak with her. I wouldn't call...I'd walk up to the door, knock and try to talk. People find it easy to say no to a phone call but once face to face, they have a harder time walking away.

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Kim - posted on 02/07/2011

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Just curious - have you or hubby explained Exactly what happened to your daughter's friend's parents ? If not, nothing will fix this. It's completely a simple misunderstanding ... he said for the girls Not to do that, sounds like a smart parent, jmo. The girl who took it as a sexual remark needs to stop and think Why it sounds sexual. And have the 4 parents explain why it wasn't. Hope you get things cleared up - but if not, it's entirely possible this is one of those friendships not meant to last if something so silly can end it. JMO

Louise - posted on 02/07/2011

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This sounds like a miss understanding let it lie really it will all blow over. I agree with jane that the child has given this mother another version of this story. If you really feel you need to explain yourself then write a letter this is non confronting and she is liable to read all of it. Then just let it drop.

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