Unreasonable technology restrictions?

Megan - posted on 04/05/2017 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I guess it is time for this year's post on the same stupid topic...technology restrictions. So, here's some background, I guess: I'm a freshman in high school who goes to a technology-oriented school, so these restrictions are a problem. Nearly all of my assignments are Internet-based, which makes these restrictions a major problem. In addition, my school's band uses an app called GroupMe to deliver last-minute updates and important information. Because of this, I usually need access to my phone in order to avoid...angering the band directors, I guess. Since many aspects of my life depend on phones and computers, I think it's ridiculous that I always get my phone taken at 7 pm and the Internet cut off at 8 pm, especially when on many nights I don't get home and get time to do anything productive until around 9 pm, so I have to annoy (yes, they are annoyed) my parents to get the Internet turned back on. It's not like I ever get time to really use social media or use my phone for frivolous activities, and it's really hindering my work, especially when I need to work in a group iMessage for a group project and use a shared document online. Are these rules unreasonable?

TL;DR: In a technology-oriented community, is it unreasonable to have parents confiscate phones at 7 pm and Internet cut off at 8 pm?

19 Comments

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Ev - posted on 04/23/2017

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Adriena--that is great parenting. But not all kids go to schools that are all done with tech. Some go to schools that offer it partially. Some go to school where it is the way things are totally done. But 7 pm is not unreasonable for a kid to turn in their phone if that is a parent's rule. I do not care how old the kid is. Unless for some reason they are out due to school activities like sports or other things, then they would or should have access to the phone until they get home. Other kids' parents sometimes overkill the extra activities.

Adriena - posted on 04/21/2017

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Yes, those times are unreasonable for a high school student. High school students do most of their homework in the evening and some classes give a lot of homework so it can take a few hours. I take my teenagers cell phones away when they go to bed anywhere from 9pm-10:30pm depending. and they get them back while they get ready to go to school the next day. But these rules work in the situation where they both get good grades and they are involved in several sports & activities PLUS I do cell phone spot checks. Without warning, around once every couple of months I go on their phones & check things out, read some texts and look at the apps & photos, etc. They have to unlock their phone for me and sit with me while I do this. If they were not in sports/activities, their grades were bad or they were hiding stuff on their cell phones, these rules would change. If you have nothing to hide - hide nothing. If you're a good kid - it should be easy to prove.

Ev - posted on 04/10/2017

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Tracy--Even with the offer of open communication, kids are not always going to be open to tell parents everything.

Jtcampe3 - posted on 04/10/2017

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Ev - I totally understand your comment and get it. :) Parents have to be guardians over the internet and make sure it doesn't overtake our children and they learn balance. I do believe that good honest communication is always the best option when issues arise in any family. :) Blessings!

Sarah - posted on 04/09/2017

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Unless you attend a private school. Access to the internet cannot be a requirement for attending. You can access the internet at school or the library. There are lots of kids in my district that don't have access at all at home.

Ev - posted on 04/08/2017

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Tracy--my kids grew up in a school that did not demand use of the internet for most of their work. My friend's two youngest kids did but they still had no way to access the internet because it was too expensive to have in the home and also the fact they did not have computers. So the teachers would have to work with them on getting the work done either during lunch time or after classes were over. As for group projects--they got together with the team to do those. Kids this day and age need to learn to balance tech and doing things the old way too. What happens if we were to totally lose the internet?

Jtcampe3 - posted on 04/07/2017

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I understand your predicament. It's hard to give you a hard and fast answer not knowing all the details on both sides of the spectrum. With that being said, have you tried sitting down with both your parents and outlining the work you need to accomplish that involves having access to wifi and social media? Perhaps asking for an extension on time for a period of time when your work load is higher than normal? I was raised without all the technology, and it does take some adjusting to on our end because a lot of times we just don't understand the demands of it, especially for school work. I know it seems unfair, but I'm sure your parents really are just trying to do the best by you and have your best interests at heart. I think communication is key in this situation. Blessings!

Ev - posted on 04/06/2017

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And what do you mean age card? You are a minor, Megan. There is no age card to deal with at this point.

Ev - posted on 04/06/2017

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We have given you a perspective, Megan. My kids were not allowed to have the computer in their own rooms. It stayed in the living room where I could see over shoulders when they were on the internet. But back then, it was not used as much for school stuff as it is now. Not everyone has access to a computer or internet at home. You need to understand that as well. I am sure there are students where you live that do not have a computer at home and have to use the library or another computer somewhere with limited time to do their work and keep up with things and may not even have a phone to use for other things.

Again, it is a parent's right to decide when and if you use the technology. You want us to say that it is okay and go along with you when we (some not all of us) obviously have said no in the past and made it work for our kids. My son is just out of high school a couple of years and a lot of their homework had to be done online but he did not have the access like most of his school mates did because dad did not have the money to keep up with internet bills and computers.

Megan - posted on 04/06/2017

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Ah…the age card. It peeves me when people play the age card, and I hate the fact that I'm going to have to use it again. 14 or 15 years of age…the legal age to learn to drive and earn a permit (at least in America). Yet one would still not be allowed to be able to find their way onto a forum with a target audience of parents. (I know this won't change you opinion at all but just some…food for thought, I guess.) The original purpose that I made an account for this site was to see the situation from the perspective of moms. In this instance, I seem to have what I came for.

Ev - posted on 04/06/2017

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Dove has the right of it. You are not 18 yet. You are 14 or 15? Parents have the say in the matter and that is the bottom line. But I do agree that if you can sneak on a mom's forum, maybe you need your internet usage checked.

Megan - posted on 04/06/2017

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I suppose I did not originally clarify the fact that I'm not connected to technology 24/7. However, due to household restrictions, I am unable to use technology for aspects where I do need to do this. In my opinion, the tech restrictions are not "teaching" me how to use technology responsibly. It is simply teaching me to obey commands, rather than think on my own. Without the restrictions, I would be able to make mistakes and learn from them on my own.

In response to your second paragraph, I am aware that this is a site directed for moms. However, I am aware from experience with others that I am somewhat isolated, so I would like to see other opinions.

Ev - posted on 04/06/2017

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Megan--It is up to us parents to set the standards, rules, values and morals that we want our children to live by and learn by. Without that kids would be just doing things on their own. That is n ot the way we do this. You should be glad your parents are doing what they should be. The rules on tech is to teach you how to be responsible with it. You can not depend on tech for all parts of your life either. That is not what it was meant for. This world did not start out as technology oriented. It started with first word of mouth, then written word, and then into technology. Other things are just as if not more important that tech.

I hope you are not thinking we are kids parading about as parents, because we are not. And did you think that moms who are posting in a forum for advice for MOMS was going to back you up?

Sarah - posted on 04/05/2017

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My kids go to a high school that has all textbooks on tablets and loads of work to be turned in electronically. All of my kids have played multiple sports, were active in student government and were busy. Any communication between a team/coach and my child that is important; also goes thru me. Unless one of my kids had procrastinated in completing an assignment, there is no reason they could not turn it in at a reasonable time.

Ev - posted on 04/05/2017

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It is not unreasonable for parents to do these things because that is their job to do that. It is their job to make sure you get sleep, get homework done, and have descent downtime AWAY FROM TECH STUFF. Your life will not totally revolve around technology when you get out of the house. What are you going to do...let technology take care of your children when you have a family?

Ev - posted on 04/05/2017

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I might also add that this world is not strictly internet based either. Lots of people including teens like you do not have access to all the tech stuff and some schools are still using books...paper, pens, pencils and stuff like that.

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