What are bed times for teens and pre-teens

Nelly - posted on 11/01/2010 ( 185 moms have responded )

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I have 4 children ages 16, 14, 12, and 10 years old. My oldest 2 go to bed at 8:30pm on week-nights and on week-ends they go to bed at 9:00pm, my youngest 2 go to bed at 8:00pm on week-nights and 8:30pm on week-ends lately they have all been asking to go to bed laer. Just curious about bed times with your teens and pre-teens

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Tawanna - posted on 11/11/2010

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I have a 13 yr old son and an 18 yr old son (18 yr old is away in college). Since birth I have made it my business to regulate my kids entire schedule. Up at the crack of dawn, breakfast, choirs, school, nap, homework, playtime, dinner, choirs, and a set 8pm bedtime. By the time my boys reached school age they were so regulated that I never had to enforce any bedtimes. My 13 yr old climbs the stairs and hits the sack on his own. Once children become teenagers they want to have more of a social life outside of the home with friends. Thats when irregularity first kicks in. I never keep my boys under lock and key, but they must follow the rules or suffer the consequences. When my older son hit HS he wanted to hang out and stay out with absolutely no curfew. His reason was he is responsible and that all his friends can stay out as late as they wish. I advised him that I have know control over what his friends parents are allowing them to do. I was willing to compramise by raising his curfew to 9 and bedtime to 10 freshman year. By the time he was a Junior I had raised his curfew to 11 and bedtime to 12. Senior year I raised curfew again to midnight, but did not insist on a time for him to go to bed. Most days by son was in the house and asleep by 10. Although he thought he needed to have more hang out time, he found that his body could not function the next day if he was not rested. Even now that he is away in College he keeps that same schedule. Except for weekends. Technically my 13 yr old is still on an 8pm bedtime, but he is such a good kid that I dont regulate it. As I stated before he climbs the stairs and hits the sack on his own everynight around 8:30 or 9...............I am truly blessed to have two great DRAMA free sons.

Dena - posted on 11/11/2010

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My 17 yr old is working on homework until around 9:30 or 10, then maybe reads or goes right to bed. Her light is always off by 10:30. My 13 yr old son has a bedtime of 9, but we let him read until 9:30 if he wants. His light's off by 9:30. no negotiating. They both get up at 6:30 in the morning for school. I impose an 11 o'clock bedtime on the weekend too unless there's a special activity going on. Otherwise we have crabby tired children all weekend and their systems are out of wack come Monday morning.

Shelia - posted on 11/11/2010

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My 15 year old goes to bed between 9-9:30 every night,sometime she wants to stay up later on special occasions which I will let her!

Sue - posted on 11/11/2010

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we start the process at 8 pm. i have 4 also, ages 8,10,11,14. they are all tucked in and sleeping by 9. when they ask to stay up later i remind them how hard it is to get up in the mornings (high school bus comes at 6:30). i say they stay up later when they are waking up early or are having no problems getting up in the mornings. every kid is different, if they act tired during the day, they probably need more sleep.

Jamie - posted on 11/11/2010

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My fourteen year old boy starts his bedtime routine on school nights at 8:30. He must get up early in order to go to school and still needs the sleep an early bedtime gives him. We are more flexible on weekends and vacations but still enforce a bedtime. Our college age son when home sets his own bedtime according to what his body needs and is an excellent napper!

Stephanie - posted on 11/11/2010

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At age 5 my daughters bedtime is 7:30 and for every year older she get another 15 minutes
6 = 7:45
7 = 8
8 = 8:15
9 = 8:30
10 = 8:45
11 = 9:00
and so on....
til 17 = 10:30

Alison - posted on 11/10/2010

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my 14 year old goes to bed by 10pm on school nights and 11pm on weekends. he knows the minute his grades go bad, his bed time gets moved up. sometimes he goes to bead earlier, but he doesn't get up till 6am for school.

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My 16 year old goes to bed at 10 on weeknights and later on weekends. My 4 and 5 year olds go to bed at 8 on weeknights and as late as 10 on the weekend, but are usually in bed earlier watching a movie.

Teresa - posted on 11/10/2010

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After six kids the youngest 20 now, I learned that each one has a different body clock. Although they all had 9:30 bedtimes on school nights. As they got older (14-16) bedtimes were more or less up to them, if they got up in the mornings without fuss. I think younger children need the routine, but as kids get in their teens I find they require different times of sleep, especially if they have evening jobs that may interfere with a set bedtime. This is called growing up and learning to schedule your time.
I DO think that whatever time they turn in for the night, that the evenings should be somewhat of a relaxed structure. Homework, then maybe some family games or a little TV. Whatever time you set be aware of the individuals need and adjust from there.

Laura - posted on 11/10/2010

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My son just turned 13 in Nov. and he goes to bed at 9pm on weeknights and 11pm on week-ends. My 9 yr. old goes to bed at 8:30 on weeknights and 10:30 on week-ends.

Sherry - posted on 11/10/2010

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I have a 14 and 16 year old, and they both generally go to bed at 11pm during the week and weekends can stay up as late as they want as long as we don't have anything planned.

Terrie - posted on 11/10/2010

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Hi Nelly
I have 3 boys 15, 13 and 11. my boys always had bed times at 8.30 but weekends whatever time they wanted. Now with all their soccer commitments we might not get home until 9pm like we did last night. Mine have always gone to bed earlier than their bedtime on weekdays....maybe because they get Friday and Saturday to stay up late.
Terrie

Kathy - posted on 11/10/2010

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We have 4 teenage boys (14-19)... bedtime is 9pm on school days for the 3 still in high school and all electronics, including cell phones, go off at 8pm.

I would like to allow them to handle when they go to bed themselves,but we have tried that and they stay up too late, which causes them to not do well in school. They don't always like the bedtime, but I have actually had comments from teachers that they can tell my kids get enough sleep compared to some of the other students.

Bedtime on the weekend varies, depending if they have something to do early the next day. We let them self regulate, to a point... if they are up too late, we just tell them they need to go to bed.

Of course, the 19 year old sets his own time, but is always in bed by 10pm. He knows when he is tired and needs to sleep.

Louise - posted on 11/10/2010

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My 15yr old daughter generally stays up to 9:30pm (sometimes 10pm) We don't tell her when to go to bed as she's responsible and sets her own alarm for waking up for school. She's good about getting herself up in the mornings. If she feels tired or wants to get up early the next day, she'll go to bed earlier.

Mervat - posted on 11/10/2010

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I think it is too earlt for the 16 years and the 14 years to sleep at 8:30.. My son is 15 and a half he sleeps at 10:30 on weekdays, adn in week-ends he stays loner as much as he wants..
As per my daughter she is 11 years she refuses to go to bed early so she sleeps on the couch in the TV room then I move her to bed :-) ..

Sue - posted on 11/10/2010

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My 10 and 12 year olds go to bed between 8:30 and 9 on weeknights. My 14 year old goes to bed at 9:30 on weeknights. My 16 year old sets his own bedtime. On school nights, he is usually in bed by 10, although depending on the day, the amount of homework he has, and whether or not he had to work, he goes to bed as early as 8 and as late as midnight. On the weekends, we try to have all the kids settled down by 11 doing something quiet if they are staying up.

April - posted on 11/10/2010

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I have an almost 18yr old, an 11 yr old, an almost 10 yr old, and a 5 yr old at home and my oldest on the week day must be in bed by 9:30-10pm at ten that gives her 8 and a half hours sleep. The 11 and almost 10 must be in bed no later than 8:30pm that gives them 10 and a half hours sleep, and the 5 year old has to be in bed 7-7:30pm which gives her 12 hours of sleep. On the weekends my oldest has to be in bed no later than midnight as she has an eleven thirty curvue... the littles middle two by ten and the five year old by 9 as I let them sleep in on the weekends.

Michelle - posted on 11/10/2010

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I totally disagree with putting a bedtime on young teens.. I have homeschooled my son since 3rd grade (8-9 yrs old) and he is now 14 yo (9th grade) he has always gone to bed when he was ready wkdays/wkends and I have no problem with this... as long as he is up and in the shower by 6:30a and ready to be doing school by 8am. he is usually done with school around 1 or 2pm and if so, he is welcome to nap or hangout.. I feel like you can allow children to set some of their own paces .. when they abuse it, then parents step in with guidance.. but sometimes we have to allow them freedoms on some things or they never learn to discipline themselves if parents are constantly telling them every aspect of their lives to do. And by allowing him this freedom.. most of the time he knows his body and will go to bed on his own by 10:30p or so. If not, he knows the consequences of not doing what is right for his body.

Denise - posted on 11/10/2010

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I have a 13yr old and a 17yr old. My 13 yr old is in bed by 10 PM on week nights and later on weekends, but she knows when she is tired and will not fight it. On the other hand, I tell my 17 yr old "good night" when I go to bed. He has to be up by 6 AM and has to deal with the consequences of not getting enough sleep. He is a senior this year and also needs to feel like he makes some decisions for himself. I believe that sleep requirements are individual. My kids play sports, as well, and if I required them to be in bed by 8:30, they would not be able to participate in practices or games, much less get their homework completed.

Sabrina - posted on 11/10/2010

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My 15 year olds bedtime is 10:30 and the 13 year old is 10:00. Sometimes they stay up a little later but I encourage them to manage their time so they learn the consequences of making good and/or bad choices. They are usually in bed a 1/2 hour prior to bedtime reading or watching t.v. to relax.

Mary - posted on 11/10/2010

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my daughter goes to at 9:30pm weekdays and 10:30 weekends. There are times when she goes to bed earlier when she has to get up earlier than normal in morning

Kelly - posted on 11/10/2010

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We have never based bedtimes solely on age. We have always looked at what time they need to be up in the morning for school/activities and worked back from that to make sure there is a 8-9 hour period. As my kids have gotten older, I have let them set the time. Amazingly - they see what time they have to be up and adjust accordingly. One is college age now and uses the how early I am up dictates how late I stay up to set his schedule.

Jennifer Christine - posted on 11/10/2010

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Ok well I used to think for my 15 that making her own bed time would be ok, since I also enjoyed spending time watching tv with her in the evenings! However I gave her the benefit of the doubt that she would let her sleepy body make the choise for her but that hasnt been the case!! She is late every morning and when whe is in class shes falling asleep and as soon as she comes home its like pulling teeth trying to get her up to do homework and chores! So now the arguement of the bed time! 9 pm???

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I have a son that just turned 17 and he goes to bed at 9:30. He has a lot of after school activities and of course home work and by the time he is fed and all other things done we like him to unwind and spend some quiet time with the family. I think that is a pretty fair tme for his age on week nights but friday and saturday we let him stsy up untill about 10:30 or 11. Also his bed time was always 8:30 from 14 - 16.

Dawn - posted on 11/10/2010

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My oldest is 17.5...and after my 6 year old goes to bed, she and I spend some time together...but usually she will go to bed when she is tired...10 or 11...sometimes I have to nudge her off to bed. Because I like some quiet time before I go to bed. When they have a hard time getting up in the mornings, I know they needed more sleep...so I stay pretty close the the actual bedtime for my little one and direct my oldest to think about what her body needs most. She does pretty good...but she has times she stays up till wee hours in the morning reading...long after I go to bed. Then when she has to get up, she is very hard to wake...I don't feel to sorry for her, and am not very merciful...lol. The better my sleep is, the easier it is to get up...she has to learn that as well....with my direction of course.

Lucy - posted on 11/10/2010

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8:30 for a 16 and 14 year old?????? WOW, do they really go to bed or do they text and listen to music for a while before they actually go to bed?! LOL

Tarsha - posted on 11/10/2010

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I have 4 children 15 (16 next month), 14 (15 in Jan), 9, 4 My 15 year olds bedtime is 11 but he is usually asleep by 10 on his own I allow 11 because he is very active in afterschool activities and there have been time when he doesn't get home from practice till 8/8:30, my 14 year is 10:30, my 9 is 9 ;), and my 4 year is 8:30/9ish on some night if we are picking up siblings from school stuffs later in the evening, etc.

Tina - posted on 11/10/2010

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My kids are older now, but when they were in their early teens their bed time was around 10-10:30. Weekends they could go to bed as late as they wanted to....I know this does not always work with every age...Good luck!

Kelly - posted on 11/10/2010

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My son had to be in bed at 8:30 on weeknights when he was in elementary school. We would do some reading, but he was usually asleep by 9pm. When he started junior high, he had to be in bed by 9:30. Once he hit high school, he had to be in bed by 10pm. We didn't have bedtime on weekends probably because he wouldn't stay up without us anyways. You have to look at what your children are doing with their time. If they are involved in sports and activities that prohibit them from completing homework and relaxing after school, they might need a half hour or hour in the late evening to wind down. You are the best judge of how much sleep your children need. If they don't function on less than 8 hours, keep your bed times. I only had one. With four, you might need those last few evening hours for yourself!

Janice - posted on 11/10/2010

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Yes!!! Joie - that was something I forgot to say!! Although bedtimes are important for kids - with them needing the optimal amount of sleep for them, sometimes (and some nights, it's more than others), you just want them to go to bed so that YOU can have time out for yourself, or time with your partner. Absolutely VITAL!!!!! :-)

Joie - posted on 11/10/2010

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My 9 year old daughter goes to bed at 8 on weekdays and 8:30 or 9:30 on weekends it just all depends on if were out at the time or not. My 13 year old son goes to bed at 9 on weekdays and 9:30 or 10:30 weekends same thing. But I feel going to be early on school nights helps them more alert for school and more tired at night when it is time for bed. I am sorry but I want time with my hubby cause at night is when we only get alone time.

Karyn - posted on 11/10/2010

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I have 3 kids (ages 16, 15, and 12). The two older children go to bed at 10 on week nights and around 11:30 on Fri. and Sat nights. My 12 yr. old goes to bed at 9:00-9:30 on week nights and 10-10:30 on weekends. Preteens and teens need at least 9-10hrs. of sleep/night for optimal functioning during the day. I would judge your bedtimes based on when the kids have to get up in the am. Hope this is helpful!

Jennifer - posted on 11/10/2010

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Wow thats great if they go to bed that early! My oldest is 16 & he goes to bed at 10 & weekends 12. My 13 yr old she is in bed 9 or 9:30. She is very responsible so I dont have to harp on her. They both get themselves up for school & are never never/rarely miss the bus. I say go for it!!

Janice - posted on 11/09/2010

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My 15 year old varies depending on what's on TV! Usually between 9.30 and 10.30 on a weeknight. Weekends she's usually out, so anytime! My 13 year old I try to get to bed by 9, and my 6 and 7 year olds I like to be in bed by 8.30, but usually they also tend to get there by about 9. Sometimes I'm lucky and when they're tired, they actually just go to bed on their own - but admittedly that doesn't happen often!

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I am with Angie although if I get up for one of the younger ones and it is 1.30am or something I will tell her to go to sleep. She is 15. My two youngest are 6 and 3 and go to bed approx 7-7.30pm. Maybe later on the weekends if there is a kids movie on.

Saundra - posted on 11/09/2010

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I have 7 kids. 6 of them are in bed by 8pm..The 14 year old is in bed at 9. Some kids can handle going to bed when they choose but others can not. You know your kid's. Help them decide, give them a chance. If their grades or home work suffer or they fall asleep at school...lol then you know they're not ready and you can change it back....

Janine - posted on 11/09/2010

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my 13 yr old - 9:00, 11yr old- 8:30, 8yr old- 8:00, my 6yr, 4yr and 1yr at 7:30.

Dixie - posted on 11/09/2010

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My kids went to bed at 8:30 on school nights through grade school and by 9 in 7th and 8th grade. freshman year I had them there by 10 most nights if they didn't have a lot of homework, but since then they haven't taken advantage of my rules and I haven't pushed a bedtime. I have a "Must be home curfew" instead of a bedtime. If they are home they usually sleep pretty good. They are a Junior of 16 (17 in April) and a Senior who is almost 18 so the home times actually vary by Are they working, or at an event with a definite end time/ So maybe a little past that. Mostly I try to avod times when i don't know where they are, but home by 10 on a school night 10:30 if working until 10, by midnight on a weekend unless there is a drive-in movie, Dance at the school, or a job I can check on that goes later.

Helene - posted on 11/09/2010

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That is very early in my book. My 16 yo is involved in a youth group and one a week she has meeting during the week which doesn't end until 8:30 or so. She then has to finish homework and then unwind before bed so that is about 11:30 (and that's on a school night). I know that's late but I don't think I could ever get my daughter to go to sleep any earlier. How do you do it? What's your secret?

Rhonda - posted on 11/09/2010

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My 13 yr old and 10 yr old goes to bed at 9 pm during weeknights and on weekends they go to bed at 11 pm

Pamela - posted on 11/09/2010

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My boys are almost 13 and 15 , my youngest is Autistic which has to have a schedule so I have had him on a 8pm most times on school nights unless our schedule changes due to his social worker times or events for my oldest. My 15 year old goes to bed at 9pm but recently he stays up longer watching tv with me but if gets sleepy he goes to bed and weekends on both is when 11 pm. But with school there up at 530 am during the week so I had to make sure they get enough sleep.

Linda - posted on 11/09/2010

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16 & 14year old bedtime 9.30-10pm school nights 3 year old 7.30pm weekends midnight for teens but they sometimes goto bed early if they have had school & work during the week,

Claudia - posted on 11/09/2010

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I have to daughters, ages 12 and 8....my oldest gets to stay up a little longer than the 8 yr old, but normally weekdays, they both go to bed by 9...12 yr old stays up till about 9:30 at times.

Brenda - posted on 11/09/2010

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i have one 16 year old,she goes whe she feels tired 12pm or 11pm at times on school nights.she stays later on weekends

Samantha - posted on 11/09/2010

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My 14 and 13 year old go to bed at 10pm. They don't have a set time on weekends unless we have plans. My 7 year old is in bed at 8 to 830 pm. They youngest ones are about the same time. My 12 year old is 9:30 pm.

Cortley - posted on 11/09/2010

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I have a 11 & 13 year old. Since my youngest started school bedtime has been 9 Sun-Thurs. If they go right to sleep great (this is what they did when they were little), if not I don't force (now they stay up a little longer). As long as they are quiet in their rooms reading or watching a movie I let it go. There is no phone or online chatting after 9 they can read or watch a movie. My husband & I both get up early so quiet time is a must. Sometimes if their bodies are tired they may even go earlier. Summer & weekends we don't have a bedtime just so they are quiet when we are ready to go to bed. I rarely have problems getting them up with them going at their own pace.

Kimberly - posted on 11/09/2010

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My 15 yr old goes to bed at 10pm and has till 11pm to watch his tv or read.
My 8,5,4 yr old all go to bed at 7:30 and have tv till 8:30 (sometime i'll let my 8yr old slip till 9pm)

Sam - posted on 11/09/2010

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My 9 year old goes to bed around 8:00 - 8:30 and my 12 year old usually is in bed by 9:00 but is allowed to read books until 10:00 or until she falls asleep. I have never had any trouble with my 12 year old getting up in the morning or not being able to concentrate at school. My 9 year old will be a totally different story!

Susan - posted on 11/09/2010

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My children had bed-times when they were little, but when they started becoming teenagers, they were given lights out times on school nights. Weekends are up to them. When it is time for lights out, they need to be in their rooms with the lights out. They usually go to bed at that time, but sometimes they might watch tv. My youngest is 14 right now, and she has given herself a bed-time of 11:00 on school nights. Lights out is 10:00, so we have been pretty lenient since she is the last child at home and has been getting up at 6:30 on school days by herself. They will find their own bed-times as they grow. Try giving them a lights out time. See if that works for them.

Tonya - posted on 11/09/2010

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my 13 and 17 yr old go to bed at 9 on school nights and when ever they want other days which seems to be about 11 because they are used to going to bed early. they both get up great and have good grades.

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