What are bed times for teens and pre-teens

Nelly - posted on 11/01/2010 ( 180 moms have responded )

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I have 4 children ages 16, 14, 12, and 10 years old. My oldest 2 go to bed at 8:30pm on week-nights and on week-ends they go to bed at 9:00pm, my youngest 2 go to bed at 8:00pm on week-nights and 8:30pm on week-ends lately they have all been asking to go to bed laer. Just curious about bed times with your teens and pre-teens

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Amanda - posted on 11/08/2010

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I guess it depends on what time they have to be up in the morning. My boyfriends daughter (11 and in 6th grade) that lives with us full time goes to bed at 9:30pm weeknights (Sun-Thurs) and before 11 on weekends (Fri &Sat.). But she doesn't have to be up on weekdays until 8am to get ready for school that begins at 9:05am. So if she is a sleep between 9:30 and 10:00 she is getting 10-10 and a half hours of sleep (and most Dr. say 9-10 hours for pre-teens is perfect) I hope this helps. My 15 year old (highschooler) put herself to bed and she is usually out by 10pm every night.

SHAMILLAH - posted on 11/07/2010

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i have a 8,12 yr old and they both go to bed at 9 on tha weekday and anytime on tha weekend.

Pauline - posted on 11/07/2010

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While mine were in middle/junior high they had to be in bed by 9 and lights out by 9:30. This time was for reading only. In high school I told them they were in charge of their bedtime unless they weren't responsible. If they didn't wake up or were tired all the time then I would impose bed times again. When this happened I made bedtime at 10 and lights out by 10:30. It has worked well for me over the years.

Tammy - posted on 11/07/2010

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For my 9 and 12 year old, it's 9pm on a school night. For my almost 15 year old it is 10pm. On the weekend the girls (9 & 12) can stay up until 10:30, and midnight for my son. I don't believe in letting them stay up all night.

Debbie - posted on 11/07/2010

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When my three were in grade school, it was 9pm, middle school was 10pm, high school was 11pm- these hours were for school days only. Weekends were an hour later, 12:30 max with good excuse (for high schoolers)

Yvette - posted on 11/07/2010

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I think pre-teens and teens need lots of rest because of all the work and school related things they have to do. Your bedtimes are perfect don't change a thing.

KRISTEN - posted on 11/06/2010

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Mine are 12 & 14.They're bedtime is 9:30 on weeknights & 10:30 on weekends.Sometimes they fall asleep at 9:30 on weekend.

Betty - posted on 11/06/2010

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My two are 13 and 15, both are expected to go to bed at 9pm, sometimes on the weekends they are allowed to stay up a little later.

Mardell - posted on 11/06/2010

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My oldest 16 during school week goes to bed at 10pm while his 14 yr old sister puts herself to bed at 830 9 the latest. Both are up at 6am to ready for school

Crystal - posted on 11/06/2010

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Yes, I believe in schedules and kept up with it for the most part. If you schedule them young they will automatically want to go to bed at their bedtime. But when they get older and have so much going on, then its not like they are off of a schedule, its just a little later.

Laura - posted on 11/06/2010

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I agree .. setting bedtimes once they are older and have so much to do is very hard to try and get them to sleep by the time we want them to. I like to spend time with my kids also and when they have sports, dinner, homework etc. it is hard to get them in bed by the time I want them to every night.

Crystal - posted on 11/06/2010

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I agree on teens still needing a bedtime. And my 16 yo is usually sound asleep by 11 or earlier. I'm just saying I think its unrealistic that they can be in bed at 9 every weeknight.

Gail - posted on 11/06/2010

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I have 4 teen kids also, ranging from 13 to 16. With sports and surmounting homework, dinner and showers before bedtime it's kind of hard to have such early bed times. My kids started out with 8:00 bedtimes and from age 10 they graduated a half hour every year. Stopping if they were not able to handle the increased time. I cut it off at 10 on weeknights knowing they are still kids. 10 allows them the rest they need and the time to get everything done and still have some down time before going to bed. Each child is different and you"ll know if the times are working for them.

Crystal - posted on 11/05/2010

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That was my point exactly. If you are playing soccer until 8 or later, its hard to be in bed by 8:30.

Laura - posted on 11/05/2010

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I think it depends on your child. My 15 year old stays up later than my 14 and 11 year old by choice. My 14 year old, he goes to bed at about 8:30 on weeknights because he doesn't like to be tired in the morning for school, where my 15 year old, he is a night owl but has trouble getting up in the morning. However, he will stay up anyway and says he is fine at school. My 11 year old will usually go to bed at about 9:30 or 10:00, she isn't a morning person either. It just gets so late after homework, dinner etc and the night goes so fast, so I want to spend some time with them and then it ends up getting late. I figure my teen boys need fo figure out that they will have consequences if they stay up too late and they will eventually learn they need sleep. My daughter is 11 and her bedtime is 9:30 but it doesnt always happen at that time. Weekends I don't set bedtimes, its their choice to go to bed when they get tired.

Dixie - posted on 11/05/2010

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Not sure where some got their info. from but teens require as much sleep as toddlers, so not having an appropriate bedtime will reflect in some aspect of their lives. Teens tend to make self-serving choices so maybe they shouldn't set their own bedtimes. Parents are around to help transition our kids to adulthood, the brain is not fully formed until about age 22-23. Don't let your kids make the final decision on anything. If kids were suppose to raise themselves they wouldn't have parents.

[deleted account]

have 3 children (21yrs., 17 yrs. & 14 yrs.) The oldest while she was in HS went to bed by 10 or 10:30 weeknights. She did all of her homework by 9:30 and used the last hour to read or chill. She was extremely disciplined about her school work and her sleep. The boys are both in HS and not so disciplined and go to bed by 11 or 11:30pm. The boys are both very involved with their school, sports and do well academically but do not manage their time as well as their sister. On the weekends they may stay up until 12pm and I wake them up between 9-10am if they are not playing sports that morning. The boys do not get home from school most night until 7pm so going to bed at 8:30 would be very difficult.

Crystal - posted on 11/05/2010

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The problem with that chart of how much time you need is that most adults can't get in that much sleep at night. And if your kids are involved in any after school activities ie., sports or band, then by the time they get home, rest a little, eat dinner and finish homework then its about 10 before they get to sleep. Now when they were younger, their bedtimes were 8-8:30 depending on their age and I let it go up about 15 minutes every year from about 5th grade on up.

[deleted account]

My 15 year old goes to bed at 9:30 on week days and 11 on weekends. My 12 year old goes to bed at 9 and 10:30 and my 10 year old goes to bed at 8:30 and 10. We have our kids during the week go to their rooms 30 minutes early and read so that their bodies get a chance to settle down before trying to sleep.

Crystal - posted on 11/05/2010

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When my kids are in HS, they usually stay up as late as they need to in order to get their work finished. Although, usually they are asleep by 11 and take a nap in the afternoon. My 13 yo goes to bed at 10 on weekdays and really doesn't have a set time on weekends.

Teresa - posted on 11/05/2010

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Bed time depends on what time they need to wake up and if they are tired or not in the morning but here is a guideline on how many hours they need so you can then figure out what time they need to go to bed.
Average Sleep Needs
Age Hours
Newborns (0-2 months)

12 - 18

Infants (3 months to 1 year)

14 - 15

Toddlers (1 to 3 years)

12 - 14

Preschoolers (3 to 5 years)

11 - 13

School-aged children (5 to 12 years)

10 - 11

Teens and preteens (12 to 18 years)

8.5 - 10

Adults (18+)

7.5 - 9

[deleted account]

9 years and younger - 7:30
10 - 12 years 8:00
13 - 15 years 9:00
16 - graduation 10:00

Of course there were times when there would be activities that kept them up later. If they were crabby they went to bed earlier.

No phone until homework was done and no phone after 9:00pm. Today that would include texting and no phones in the bedrooms.

Weekends bed time was 10pm or when you got crabby and whiny. 16 and over had to be in the house by 11pm. No excuses. Nothing good happens after midnight and I liked to be awake to welcome them home. ;)

[deleted account]

My 13 year old goes to bed at 9:30 on school nights, sometimes he will go to bed at 9 and then read for a little while, My 15 year old usually puts himself to bed at 9:30 or 10:00 on school nights, but he has been tired lately so he sometimes goes to bed at 9. On weekends my 15yr old comes home at 11(curfew), I don't set the time for them on the weekend, but they are usually in bed before 1am unless they have a friend over. Then I just ask them not to keep me up.

[deleted account]

I am also a believer of learning in natural consequenses. Sundays thru Thursday his bed time is 10:30 ish... but there are many times he chooses to go later as he needs to do his school projects and now that he is 17 he is all over the place. I jokinly call it "He is doing O.T. (overtime) as he works in the middle of the night on his classwork. When he comes from school he is exhausted sleeps all afternoon. I get on his case if I get any complain from any teacher for falling asleep in class. He does that acouple of times and then he is back on track on his own. He has to learn to police himsef because when he goes to college I won't be able to... Hope that helps. There's only so much your body can take and he can test his limits because he knows my main rule unless he has a real fever or he is dieying he will go to school "He has manage a perfect attendance". Our school districts has an e-mail service and I singned up for grades & attendance, so he knows that I receive it DAILY so there's no issue because I will forward the report to him... and addess it when I get home. You gotta use technology...

[deleted account]

My kids are 14 and 18.....until they turned 14, their bedtime was 9pm on school nights, now bedtime is 9:30pm. But alot of the times, they chose to go to bed earlier. As far as weekends and summers, I do not impose a bedtime. I feel they are old enough to make this decision.

Christie - posted on 11/02/2010

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my 14 year old goes to bed at 10:30 on the weekdays and doesnt really have a bedtime on the weekends. and my youngest goes to bed at 10 on the weekdays and 10:30 on the weekends. the difference is that my oldest gets up at around 6 on her own and is a morning person, my youngest hates mornings and needs the extra sleep. I think it depends on the individual child. some just require more sleep than others.

Dannielle - posted on 11/01/2010

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My 13 yr old daughter has been going to bed at 9pm since she was 12. She is turning 14 next week....and I have noticed myself enjoying watching tv with her on certain nights so I'll let her stay up a bit later like 10...if she falls asleep before then that means her body knows it was time for bed :)

Angie - posted on 11/01/2010

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My 9 year old goes to bed at 8. My 12 year old at 8:30. My 17 year old has set his own bedtime since 13 or 14. He has to learn to learn the consequences of not going to bed on time.

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