what can i do

Mary - posted on 06/16/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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How can I make my boy stop being friends with a girl same age, who has many discipline issues in her home. He feels simpathy for her because she tells him how horrible mother she has. On the last mother/daughter fight moms told daughter to "GO KILL YOURSELF". I dont know the family therefore I cant offer any help, the girl is a classmate of my son. Any ideas?

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Victoria - posted on 06/16/2012

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The more you push him away from her the more he will want to be her friend. Have her over at your home this way it will be a better way for you to see what she is really like...

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Mary - posted on 06/19/2012

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I guess I'm afraid because I dont know the girl and my son admitted that she has some issues, like drinking,smoking etc. he say she does it because she is acting out on her mom, the thing is I am blessed in having an honest good hearted boy and at this point i dont know if the mom has valid points to address them with the daughter and thats the reason of all the fighting, any how, I totally agreed with you moms that no MOM shall ever make estatements like the lady did(according to her daughter). Moreover if what the girl is saying to my boy is true then,mom needs some counseling, and the girl probably shall be assigned to her dad. My boy wants to help her, the thing is, they text a lot especially when she is having issues with mom and that affects my boy because he wants to help her. for instance the night when the mom had a fight with the daughter and make that awefull statement, he wanted to call the mom and ask her if she realized what she was doing to her daughter, I did stop him , because I thought the mom wouldnt welcome any intrusion. Instead he text the girl saying things like, calm down, you mom just lost her temper, she didnt mean that, just go to you room things will get better tomorrow, and so for, but he was very concerned that the girl could do something to herself.. Any ways I have seing a couple of the textings and I realized that the girl respond better to my boy when he takes her part but when he is impartial she just mess with my boy head by sayind things like "Im going to kill myself". I called the girl to invited her to my boy birthday party and text me saying that she will be honored, then a couple days later she text my boy that her mom have grounded her for the next two months???? is that true? I suppose the first thing you do when you ground you kid is taking away privileges like the PHONE for... I dont know.. a day maybe a week.. so i am in the limbo, I wish I can meet the daughter and her mother, that will make it easy for me to try to figured out was is going on in that house.

Heather - posted on 06/19/2012

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I agree with Victoria totally. And if the mother is telling the daughter things like that maybe you should make an anonymous call to the school counselor or someone else who could get involved. Don't leave your son to be her only support system in a situation like that. If anything really bad should happen he may be left feeling like he let her down and that's not his responsibility. Good for him for wanting to be there for her though.

Sherri - posted on 06/18/2012

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Why make him stop?? Just because she has problems means she shouldn't have friends??

Shelley - posted on 06/18/2012

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Why would you want to make him stop being friends with her?? Sounds like the mother is the problem, the girl could probably use a friend.

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