what can i do about my 18 year old deaf son?

Judith - posted on 06/06/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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my 18 year old deaf son just graduated from high school. he wants to go to college and we decided, that he should go to a community college with a deaf program in place first. this college is about 1 1/2 hr away from home and he will have to take the bus. the problem is and it has been for a long time, that he does not want to do anything about it, to get to his goal. he expects me to do everything for him. that goes for applying to college all the way to do his laundry or even giving him rides to work. it got to the point, where my husband and i actually put him in a shelter as a homeless person. the reason: he was skipping school and did not go to work at all; instead he is sitting all day all night in front of his computer. he is very much addicted to the computer. we tried to break that habit, but to no avail, even his therapist gave up on him. he is back in the house now, since the shelter closed for the summer. however, he did not learn his lesson at all, he is back doing the same things, what he done before. just being plain lazy and not doing the important things what he should be doing right now.
i need some advice here, i am running out of options. i am tempted to throw him out again or is there some kind of boot camp for the deaf, where we could ship him off to ? he definetely needs to learn how to take care of himself and learn to be responsible. any advice or ideas, pl let me know and if some daef families read that, don't hesitate to write me back. hopefully you have some info for me.

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Jacquoline - posted on 09/04/2013

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Wow, Im in the same boat, I live in Colton, WA not a lot of help here, I would have to drive, to Spokane, or Seattle, WA I need some advice. Help!!

Sherita - posted on 06/15/2012

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I'm having the same problem with my 18 year old daughter soon to be 19 she graduated last year from Michigan School for the Deaf in Flint Michigan and I regret that I let her graduate on time because like you said in you letter above she doesn't have a lot of responsibility and I know that it is probably my fault cause I do mostly EVERYTHING for her but she needs to meet some peers like herself and she wants a boyfriend really bad cause I have seen her post on facebook I'm struggling to find her some education training or employment cause she does nothing all day she text and on the computer all day she needs an outlet and fast she stays to herself always closed up in her room not wanting to be bothered with anyone else in the house and yes she's the only one in the house that is deaf I also need some help with my issue so I feel your pain

Darcel - posted on 06/07/2012

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not a judgement but a question.... Have you ever required him to take care of himself? Even as a child? As a parent you have to instill these qualities in your children from day one... not expect that "oh he's 18 he should know better"... He wont know better if you haven't taught him.... Now if you have tried to instill work ethic and things of that nature from day one then throw his butt out and let him find his way... nothing is life is free.... I believe in tough love.

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