Christine - posted on 10/04/2011 ( 15 moms have responded )
Without going into too much detail, let's just say... my son, (17) has a girlfriend. She's a sweet, smart, motivated young woman and at first I adored her. We met her parents, very responsive, involved, seemed to have great values and morals... but as the relationship grew, and I had to step in to stop a few things... her parents basically told me to "never tell our daughter to respect your house or family rules". WHAT?? Are you kidding me? And all I did... was ask her nicely to stop texting while my son was in seminary(if you don't know, it's a church education program, early morning before school starts). And allow me to add.. I asked my son respectfully at first to handle this himself, knowing dang well that he needed to be the one to make that decision, to respect his teachers, respect the class and also to be responsible to communicate this all with his girlfriend. So... nope, he didn't handle it, didn't take the reins and after several other times of being emailed from his teacher, I got a bit more stern and asked him again to please stop, turn off the phone.. and explain to his girlfriend that he couldn't talk at that time. Still no follow through. So, as I had stated to him earlier... I would take this into my own hands and talk to her myself. I talked to her personally, no texting... ha ... and was very nice, polite and asked respectfully for her to respect my wishes. I also made it very clear that, yes I had spoken with my son about it, and that he was the one in trouble, not her... but to please not contact him during that time or I would have to restrict his phone. She agreed, and said nicely back that "sure, I'm okay with that, I won't contact him at that time". But low and behold... went running to mommy, and I got then the nastiest texts ever(this from a woman who asks me not to text her daughter or her, because they can be taken wrong). I saved them... and responded by saying, I am his parent, I am looking out for the welfare, future and education of my son... first and foremost. I didn't yell at her daughter, I wasn't rude. I simply asked her to respect our family and our life. To which I got.... "don't ever tell her to respect your family or house rules". Anywhoo.... This,as many of you can imagine, has created a huge rift in the kid's relationship... because the girlfriend thinks i'm a lying bitch, and that I told her mom a bunch of lies... (whatever that's about, I have no clue) and her mom.. well, she expects that I'm going to allow her daughter to spend time here without "respecting our rules and our family". So... what to do,..what to do?? I have reached out the olive branch to the mom, to talk this over.. but now i"m getting...the BRUSH ASIDE. The niceness that is soooo thick that you could drown in it. Is it bad of me to wish that this relationship would END???? Please.... help..advice, anything?? Thanks for listening.