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Sarah - posted on 07/31/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I'm hoping to find moms who may be going through something similar and have some advice for me. I really don't know anyone who is familiar with this situation.

I was a teen mom. Had my son at 15 years old. He's 17 now and starting his senior year in high school. I'm finding it very hard to know my place anymore. My son is very independent and busy. He's got something going on alllll the time! Whether it's school, track, church, friends... he's just rarely ever home these days. That's not a bad thing! I actually am very proud of how mature and independent he is. But I have been a stay at home mom for nearly his entire life. I've worked but never had a career and even then when I did work it revolved around what my son needed at the time. Now? I just don't know what to do with myself. I haven't had to think for just myself since I was 14 (do 14 year old think for themselves? lol). While the goal is still to be available until he's on his own two feet... it's become harder to get a job around here (anywhere really!). I'm stressed out all the time and feeling very lost. Losing sleep and.... arguing with everyone. I'm only 33 and I feel like everything is so confused and uncertain for me. I didn't plan for this part. Always knew he'd grow up and leave the nest one day... I just didn't know what a transition it would be for me. This is definitely difficult... and he's not even gone yet!

Are thee any moms out there going through the same thing? Or maybe you've gone through it and have seen the other side!? I'd love some input and advice if you have any. Thank you :)

Sarah

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Kristin - posted on 07/31/2012

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You will make it i promise you still have direction as your son will always need his mother for advice or what not and one day you will be a grandmother and a mother in law. If you like schgool and classes are full maybe look into online schooling and do a lot of soul searching as to where you want to be a year from now. Your still young and while one chapter in life feels like it is ending a new chapter is just berginning for you and will be rewarding in so many different ways. Even look into creating a home based business or staring a business of doing something you really love. Maybe offer to help at a school as a teachers aid or do some volunteering in the community. The sky is the limit for you and you just need to figure out where you want to go that will make you happy

Kristin - posted on 07/31/2012

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My son is 16 as well and I had him when i was 16, it is hard to let them grow up and be independant, but it is a part of life. If i were you I would start thinking of what you want to do, maybe go back to school and get a career, join a club of some kind, maybe go to the gym. You should be proud you have raised such an upstanding son and now you need to worry about you. I guess unlike you i had to raise my son as a single parent so I had to get a career and stay in school and work full time. I am thankful i did it makes the transition easier as I still have a busy life myself. I also have 2 other children aged 6 and 16 months to look after as well. Maybe consider having another baby you are still young enough. Dont be stressed though you will find you again i promise

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Angie - posted on 08/04/2012

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The other side is AWESOME!!! although my 20yo moved back home a month ago, I think I liked it more when he didn't live here...lol. You are just adjusting to having time for you, something us single moms rarely every got. I think it's still important you and your son still get your time....whether it's a night set aside for dinner or ours was Saturday am yard sales, but be proud, be happy of what a great job you did....now it's time for YOU...enjoy :)

Sarah - posted on 08/04/2012

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Thank you Kristin :) That makes complete sense and I think you're right, I really do need to do some soul searching. Good advice! I'm taking it... :D

Sarah

Sarah - posted on 07/31/2012

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Actually Kristin, I'm a single mom, too. :) When I finally was able to get a job and settle down, it wasn't working for him (my son). I was working 7 days a week at times and he was still in elementary school.. coming home to an empty house and getting into trouble. Wasn't working out. So I quit my job and moved in with a relative who let me be a stay at home mom. Thank god! The difference between then and now is night and day. I think it was the right decision to make, it's obviously paying off... but I just never got things in place for myself after that. It's been track practices/meets, church, school, and all the other things (as you know) that come with that.
School would be great. Unfortunately, it's so hard to get into school these days that I'm wondering if my son will be able to get into college. Last semester I had to beg for a spot because every class was full. It's insane! Before my priority level was even up for registration the school (online classes included) were filled up.But I have every intention to keep pushing for those classes... and begging for spots :D lol One thing I do love is school!
I don't know. I guess I'll have to wait and see. Spend a little time on me and really think things through. What's shaken me the most is just how lost I feel. Strange to have direction one day and then wake up and have no sense of self the next.

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