What should I do when my son stole money out of my wallet??

Angela - posted on 02/22/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My 14 yr old son, stole at least $60 from my wallet. It wasnt all at once. He took $40 and then went back for $20. I realized when he went back for the $20. I comfronted him and demaned my $20 back. He gave it back in about 30 mins. I havent really discussed it with him. I feel violated after I give him $2. a day for school. I took his game stations away from him and stopped giving him money all together. What else can I do?

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Sherri - posted on 03/05/2012

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It depends on where you are. I'm in Ontario and had been arrested myself when I was 16, so I knew from personal experience that the charges aren't permanent. We had also tried to get my SS into a very in deapth counselling and one of the conditions of the program was "in trouble with the law", so when he stole 50 bucks, we were almost excited about calling the police. So, we had him arrested and FINALLY got the counselling in place that we needed. However, I am aware that as a parent, this is a hard decision to make. and it also depends on the child too...... for my SS, the $50, was NOT his first time and his behaviour was escalating.

LaSheika - posted on 02/23/2012

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Hi,



My son is also 14yrs old and I can only imagine if this were to happen to me. I would ask him why? "I raised you better than this...to not take from me or anyone!" What do you need it for? Do I need to test you for substance abuse? I would really get to the source of the problem! Seek help from a professional if he keeps taking from you! My parents make my son work for money doing their chores around their house! ....kids are so spoiled & we love them! God bless!



~LaSheika J.

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Kelly - posted on 10/16/2012

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Well, I came across this site because I am looking for the same help. My son has some psychological disorders that he's medicated for. When he was about 14 he memorized my debit card number, and was ordering pizzas and things online while I was at work (I used to work afternoons.) I screamed. I yelled. I threatened jail time. He then began taking valuables and trying to sell them. He also likes to eat only junk food, which became a serious problem, so we had to start hiding anything sugary in our room because he would eat massive amounts of sugar the moment we turned our backs. I can tell you we STARTED with grounding. He's not allowed to use a computer without permission. We have them password protected. We have a lock on our bedroom door that has key access as well as a digital code (cost about $100), because he broke into our room while we weren't home and damaged the previous lock I put on (I had to break in through my bedroom window.) STILL, he would take things that belonged to us, and on occasion get into our wallets. We tried making him work off the money--it didn't phase him. Our next step was selling his video games/game systems to reimburse ourselves and teach him the value of a dollar. He is now 16, and though it's not as frequent or as large of amounts, he still has stolen a couple bucks here and there. My family is furious with me because many of the video games were gifts, and they spent a lot of money on them. They now know not to buy him anything game-related. I'm not sure what the next step should be. He really wants a job, which I think would teach him to respect money more, but I still have to stay on top of him to get his homework done, and am concerned about his ability to manage his time. He is already on probation for an issue that truly was a stupid mistake due to his disorders, and if he goes to jail his probation turns into a felony immediately. Hopefully what we've done might help give you ideas if you're still having a problem. Unfortunately, I am not sure what to do myself!!! Any suggestions are welcome.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/05/2012

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First, quit leaving your purse out where your kid can get to it. Second, he doesn't get ANYTHING new. He now gets second hand store buys for clothes, etc.

Third, he doesn't get to go ANYWHERE ALONE for a few weeks.



Once you take him off restriction, I still wouldn't buy anything new, nor allow him to spend any money that isn't necessary to live. (school lunches, yes, buying soda after school, no)



Oh, and it may help to point out that you feel you can never trust him again, and that it will take awhile for that to happen. AND, while that is happening, he can expect you to question EVERYTHING that he says or does, as this is a consequence of dishonesty.



You determine how long you will take to trust him again, and let him know what the timeline is.

Tiesha - posted on 03/05/2012

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I too had to deal with my kids stealing from me. The lying and stealing got worst, so I had to put my 18 year old son out. I think it's society today, whatever kids see on tv, they want that life instead of earning it. Kids these days have too many privileges. To this day, my and my son talk, but he not allowed in my home without me being there because I simply don't trust him. Talk to your son, maybe if he earns it, he will stop stealing it.

Mary Beth - posted on 03/05/2012

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We adopted my older two boys when they were teens. My oldest one started stealing our grocery money. He refused to acknowledge that he took it. When we would ask him where he got the new things (CDs, phones, etc), he would lie and say a "friend" bought the stuff. We finally told him he was to longer accept things from his friends. The stealing stopped after that. Our middle son started stealing from us about 6 months after he came to live with us. When we eventually figured it out, we started locking up our valuables. I would lock my purse in my car. Unfortunately, he was using the money to buy drugs and we had to ask him to leave. I guess the bottom line is to find out why he stole the money and address that issue.

Sofia - posted on 02/23/2012

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I have a 16 yr old daughter and feel very blessed that I havent had to deal with this. I'm not sure I'd know what to do either. I'm wondering what others who have gone through have to say so I can learn myself!

I think I would start by having a conversation with my child to find out what is going on in their head. What made them steal? Let it be known that stealing will not be tolerated. And go from there.

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