What to do about grades?

Stefanie - posted on 11/07/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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I just cant figure it out. My kids do not participate in any activites nore do they have a lot of things. They both failed english this quater. What should I do besides ground them?

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Leah Helton - posted on 11/17/2009

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My kids try this every year for the first semester. I have realized that this is the time of year when things get busy in our lives and I don't get to spend as much time with them as I would like. Try sitting down at the table with them and help them study. Put away some of the things that you do that make you a busy mom and spend quality time with them. This school year is the first year that I have done that and both of my kids brought home all A's and B's on their report cards. Oh, the other thing that I did was tried to not be negative. Encourage them on their tests. Even though they are not little any more those techniques seem to still work!

Kim - posted on 11/17/2009

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With my son the school has a daily paper the teachers are to fill out and tell you how your student is doing. He likes tutoring this one friend's kid and we have set it up where he can only do it if he is doing what he is supposed to do in school himself. I hope that helps.

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My first thought would be to call a conference with your kids and teachers and go from there. Our school district has free peer tutoring on Thursday afternoons. Check your school's website (That is the most wonderful use of the internet EVER!!!!!!) Talk to your kids. My daughter would fail a class simply because she didn't like the teacher (She sure showed them!) At our house we "Pay" for good grades. An A gets $5 and a B $3. Anything lower gets nothing. (Local gas stations also do "Grades for Gallons" That was never an incentive for my daughter but my son busts his butt for those free gallons of gas.

Tammy - posted on 11/15/2009

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I had this problem with my 8th grader. 3 weeks ago I went and talked to his school guidance counselor. She fixed it where his teacher on Mondays wrote down the assignments for the week for her class. Tests, extra credit assignments, everything. Then on Friday I get his grade average for the class. This has helped to bring his grade from an F to a B in three weeks. See if you can get something similar from their school.

Jenny - posted on 11/15/2009

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first of all don't stress, these things happen. what grades are they in, and is this a new school for them. if you have time to spare i recommend you visit the classroom. as a parent you have a right to sit in class for twenty minutes, but you are not allowed to comment on anyting just sit and observe. this way you'll know how structured the class is and how their behavior is as well. i have two teenagers and i've been down that road as well. get involved if you can and volunteer as much as possible. let them know that their first priotrity in life at this point is their education, and nothing else besides chores and so on.

Robin - posted on 11/15/2009

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Stefanie first I suggest sitting your child down and talk to them. Try to find out what the real problem is. Do they have a problem in the class and need tutoring. Is it a subject of no interest and laziness has set in? Check with the teacher weekly to see if they are on top of assignments. Sometimes grounding will not work. You must find out what they really enjoy and take that priviledge and away and be consistant as the parent. Let them know your concerns in a positive way and praise when they are doing well. Good Luck

Teri - posted on 11/11/2009

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I have been struggling with my 12 year old son on the same issues. Taking away his privileges seems the only thing i can do as well just like grounding. When i find out he is behind on assignments i make him do them, he is so bad that he will do the assignments and then not turn them in. I have to wonder if he is just doing it to spite his teachers and I. He is capable of doing the work not all of it comes easily but he is capable of so much more and just doesn't want to do it. We have regular chores for all the kids and that seems to be helping to teach a work ethic but that just doesn't carry over to school. He knows he is responsible for the work and the consequences of not doing it and still doesn't do it and pays the price for which he complains. Like a friend of mine says the punishment doesn't always have to fit the crime so we have tried to be ingenious in making up punishments like month long taking away computer and TV and phone only allowed to read or do extra credit work and we are still in the same boat as you, and i like my hair so pulling it out isnt an option. :}

Debbie - posted on 11/08/2009

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My daughter is 15 and failed a few classes in the 1st qtr of school and I am at a point where I am pulling out my hair. I have tried grounding and all she did was lay around and act depressed (took her phone away) and several other things. Her 16 yr old cousin in another state just quit school this past week. This is not an option for her at all. She wants to further her education after HS either thru the military or college but we need to get throught HS first. She is only in band and goes to church on a regular basis and does not get into trouble otherwise. All of her teacher agree that she can do the work and it isn't hard for her but she just does't want to do it. I check her grades thru Edline online so I am up on what is going on with her grades. She has a boyfriend that is going into the Navy after HS but that is still 1 1/2 yrs away. he encourages her as much as possible. They don't see each other much as each are in different schools so maybe that has something to do with it!

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u do what ever it taks to show them that they r going to do well. i went and sat in class with mine just to show them that they can do it on there own or they will have mom at school being there only friend.i know thats hard to do but for your childern to b better people in life its worth it.

MONIQUE - posted on 11/07/2009

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Hi Stefanie, talk to them and there teachers. ask them why are they having trouble and do they feel they need a tutor. depending on there response, hold them accountable. and hold them responsible and do not let up! demand them to get it together and to bring in bad grades will not be tolerated. Talk to them about how they feel about themselves, cause if there self esteem is low then they will not be interested in getting good grades,and grounding them will not bother them. GOOD LUCK! GOD BLESS YOU AND THE CHILDREN.

Tracey - posted on 11/07/2009

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Meet wtih your children's school counselor and arrange to also meet with the English teacher. Aside from hearing the school's side and homework suggestions, let your children know that there's a time for homework and a time for friends. I've explained to my daughter that H.S. is preparing her for College. She has to have good grades to earn a scholarship, we don't have a lot of money, so she needs to get funding/grants/student loans. I shared with her that I wanted to be an architect and didn't get the chance and how much I wanted her to get the opportunity to really succeed. It worked! She's getting A's and B's.

Michelle - posted on 11/07/2009

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What do your kids think about what is going on? Talk to them first and then both of you could go speak with the teacher and get a game plan. Grounding is often time difficult to maintain consistency and often times does not get to the root of the problem.

Sheri - posted on 11/07/2009

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I guess I would start by talking with the teachers/guidance counselor at school. Do they have friends? Can you get them involved with some activities so that they(?) can start feeling some successes? What about volunteering somewhere?Structured homework time? Support for homework? Talk with the teacher to see how the failing grade is being earned. Punishment might be the wrong method if there is truly an issue. Drug use? Depression? Learning disabilities? Just some thoughts to think about. Good Luck.

Angie - posted on 11/07/2009

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Does your school have a website where you can check your children's grades daily? If it does, check daily and make sure they are up to date with their work and that they are going to class. If your school doesn't have this, contact the teachers and have them e-mail a list of when assignments are due and when tests and quizzes are happening.

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