What would you do if you found out your 15 year old son was involved with a 36 year old?

Ava - posted on 08/23/2011 ( 231 moms have responded )

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The other day i found out my 15 year old son is involved sexually with a 36 year old women and i about lost it i only came across this because of my sons friends and this girl that likes him and has known him all his life told me and thinks this women is manipulating him and controlling him i am not even sure where to start or what to do! What should i do? Has anyone ever dealt with this?! Any advice or help would be helpful!

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231 Comments

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Melanie - posted on 02/19/2012

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Call the police and press charges

Melanie - posted on 02/19/2012

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Call the police and press charges

Julie - posted on 02/17/2012

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Ummmm I think I would be having this lady put in jail for statutory rape - this is just wrong!!!

Sherri - posted on 02/10/2012

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I am sure this has been resolved by now as this was posted 6mo's ago.

Ella - posted on 02/10/2012

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I would call the police and ask for their advice.......this is totally not ok, you are still his guardian......and what would u do if this 36 year old was the same sex?....not ok...he's gonna be mad but you have to be an advocate and this person needs to be reported ASAP....you'll be surprised, this individual will end up as a registered sex offender once you get the authorities involved...ella

Sarah - posted on 02/07/2012

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Contact the police. This is statutory rape.

Monica - posted on 02/01/2012

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Call the police, call the school, consult a respected family friend or clergy, call the 36yo and threaten her... I would lose my ever-loving mind!



If they truly believe this is 'love' (which I can't imagine), then they can both wait for 3 or more years...without any physical contact.



Either way, you have to put a stop to it, because it is absolutely criminal, and inappropriate!

Sally - posted on 01/27/2012

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Call the police. This is abuse .

Lori - posted on 11/28/2011

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I would head to the police department. This is illegal, sexual abuse of a minor. As the parent, your job is to protect your child. Not only is this woman sick and needs help, but she may be abusing other children as well. Even though your 15 yo son may feel like he's an adult because of this relationship, the truth is that he is still a child in many ways, as all 15 year olds are. I would also get my son in counseling immediately. So sorry this has happened to him. I don't know what's wrong with some people these days.

Rebecca - posted on 11/28/2011

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contact the police and a good therapist sending prayers your way!

Patricia - posted on 11/25/2011

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I HIGHLY COMMEND you for doing something about this.
Why I say that is I remember Years ago IN CHURCH of all places I saw this going on between a boy who was under the age of 15 and the woman was over the age of 22 and NO ONE stepped in- not even the boy's parents-they thought it was funny!!!!
I am SO SORRY Your Son is going through this and I am Praying for You and Your Son as I type this..........♥
God Bless ♥

Luna - posted on 11/24/2011

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Call the police!!! That is child abuse!!! I have a 15 year old boy and I would not wait a second to report her. This is wrong in SO many ways!!!

Michelle - posted on 11/21/2011

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OMG!!!!!! I would go streight to the cops n get her arested. She is a predidtor and is old enough to b his mom. Not only is he not thinking right cuz of this lady but he's probly geting all big headed because of her age. I would NOT wste anymore time get her off the street!!

Sherri - posted on 11/14/2011

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Well I am hoping that this is resolved by now since this was written almost 3mo's ago.

Shelli - posted on 11/14/2011

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Call the cops!

Vicki - posted on 11/14/2011

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That is called statutory rape. The woman needs to go to jail.

Cindie - posted on 11/14/2011

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Seriously...I honestly can't believe I'm reading this. Ok so if this were 'my' son I would run, not walk, but RUN to the police and report her! She's breaking the law. You see...a 'child' that is 15 has 'no clue' that what he is doing is not right...however, you as the parent do..please do something other than asking about it.

Diana - posted on 11/08/2011

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I would report it to the police what is wrong with this women he is a child

Kimberly - posted on 11/06/2011

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I feel your pain. Unfortunately for me my son was 18 and she was almost forty. So technically I could do nothing but she was pursueing him hard. I intercepted a very nasty conversation she was having with my son. I let her know I would be going to her husband if she didn't just walk way. She didn't believe me so I sent her a pic of her house the name of her husband and where he worked. I still get extremely anxious when I think about what she was trying to do with my son. He met her at work. I had him quit his job. It happened a year ago and I still get angry. Hang in there and know my son and I are closer than ever. He sees her now for what she is.

Tricia - posted on 11/05/2011

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call the cops.

Jocelyn - posted on 11/05/2011

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Since this information was presented to you second-hand, by teenagers, the first thing you should do is verify the facts. If your child has, in fact, been the victim of a 36 year-old sexual predator, then you should call the police, have her arrested and get your son into counseling asafp. A 36 year-old who preys on children is obviously sick, but a 15 year-old who engages in sex with same has huge problems as well.

Sarah - posted on 11/05/2011

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While my first instinct is to say "involve the Police" my second thought was "how messy would that be? I think in the first instance that seeing your family doctor might be the best thing. I am pretty sure they have dealt with situations like this previously and may be able to give you some solid advice about how to achieve the best outcome for both you and your son. A 36 year old is certainly not interested in a relationship with a 15 year old so what are her motives? Sex? Control? Is she mentally ill? She certainly needs to be dealt with but bringing it to a head with your son in the middle might do more harm than good. Perhaps get him sorted out first and then go to the police - once they know their hands are tied and it is impossible to turn back the clock. While the law sees a 15 year old as under age I am pretty sure he thinks he knows it all and it's no big deal. At the end of it all he needs to know he can trust you and while you are taking action for his long term good he won't see it that way. He will need to speak to someone because sleeping with a woman who is old enough to be his mother can have lasting effects on him. Really don't envy you. My son is 17 and I feared what might happen if he became sexually active at a young age but luckily that wasn't the case. All the best.

Sherry - posted on 10/31/2011

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You need to go file a warrant for her arrest!!

Robynn - posted on 10/31/2011

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IM SORRY, SOME OF THE REPLYS YOUR GETTING ARE CRAZY AND OFF THE WALL.
the bitch that slept with your son needs to get her ass beat, like i said before. she needs mental help and needs to be locked up. She is lacking somthing in her life if she needs to be emotionally attached to a 15 yr old boy. Personally i think she has a screw loose and needs to get help. For your son, he needs help to. He is lacking a mothers love and attention, for him to do this, he is looking for a motherly type. Not saying your doing anything wrong but maybe you need to take a long hard look at what your doing as a parent, and step outside the box for a second. im not saying im a good mother but if my son was off soin this same thing i would look at what i was doing along with getting her away from him and fix the problem with yours and his relationship. hope this helps, god be with U!

Maria - posted on 10/30/2011

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I know in some states it's not considered a crime because he is 15. I have a cousin that went through this and her son got the woman pregant and yes she did have the baby, took him and his mother to court. The judge made him get a job and pay child support. Nothing happened to her. So what I will say to this is deal with him and her.

Bethany - posted on 10/29/2011

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Oh, boy. It's time to have a sit-down with your son...and a throw-down with the Cougar.

Bev - posted on 10/29/2011

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Sorry, I don't beleive she had to pay a million nor that any court approved the arrangement....I am done with this...

Sherri - posted on 10/29/2011

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So Evelyn in your head it would be okay if his mom or high school teacher was sleeping with this 15yr old boy and having sex??? Ultimately this is what you are saying.

Bev - posted on 10/29/2011

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I understand tough love but in this case the woman is a pedophile and a parent cannot turn their child over to one without facing potential criminal charges....in all states the parent/legal guardian in responsible for the child where ever they go.... this is not a good solution and just because it seemed to work in one case does not make it one....who knows how much that boy is going to resent the parent that did that in the long run not to mention emotional problems....a 15 year old cannot legally consent to sex with a 36 year old and if his parent does, it makes them a party to the crime - period....

Bev - posted on 10/29/2011

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No way to misread this...." I'll let him go live with her and never deal with him again let her deal with all his problems, like school, nasty mouth, him trying to be a man with her in every sense of the word, buy him cloths, take him to the hospital, go to parent teacher meeting, or him being a drop out and make her sign a legal document that she will be a 100% responsible for him and his actions sign all rights over to her and that she agrees to take all financial responsibility for him, then I would let him go, and sit back and watch what happens, I refuse to get sick because of an ungrateful boy/future man, Its call tough love and to do this you need a back bone like no other I know I did it when my son got in trouble with the police, Girl get tough and realize that no matter what you might do he just might find away to see her so don't call the cops do what I said sign him and all that goes and that will be of him to her, he might just come back cause she might not want to do everything I said and more for him, everything a mother does, especially when he's sick. And make sure you write in this legal document that if she fails to do all you said in this letter including making sure he finishes all his education all of it even college, then she would have to agree to pay you a sum of money with out question no matter what it is. type this letter with a lawyer and invite her over to the lawyer office and let her read it and sign it. "......... and the only 'deals' the DA can make is with the offender.......and I don't have to know your daughter to ask if you would take the same position with her at 15 and hand her over to a 36 year old because "nothing else works"......

Bev - posted on 10/29/2011

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Gee Evelyn....talk about blame the victim....guess if it was your daughter you would blame her clothing and hand her over to the pedophile....no lawyer would even draw up the papers or be a party in any way to handing a child to a pedophile.....good grief!

Danielle - posted on 10/28/2011

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Omg I just read this and my mouth dropped! What kind of woman preys on a young boy?! I mean how at 36 could you possibly find a 15 yr old BOY so attractive to the point where you'd be sexually involved with him?! Im sorry i'm trying to understand this? This thing that calls herself a woman should be in jail, she is a disgusting waste of human life! I just cant comprehend this?! If it were my son that this woman was preying on i'd be in jail I honestly think I would have lost it and went looking for her.

Christina - posted on 10/26/2011

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I would call the cops and have her ass arrested. Period.

Gina - posted on 10/26/2011

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OMG! The first think I would do is go to the cops and reprt the 36 yr old.

Gina - posted on 10/26/2011

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OMG! The first think I would do is go to the cops and reprt the 36 yr old.

Cherie - posted on 10/25/2011

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The first thing I would do is tell my son to stop seeing her. If he doesn't, I would ABSOLUTELY press charges. He is under 16 and it's statutory rape. Whether he wants it or not, SHE has no business sexually abusing (which is exactly what it is) a 15 yr old BOY! I'm absolutely LIVID for you!!!! Good luck to you and PLEASE keep us posted.

Tah - posted on 10/25/2011

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my question would be why you didn't immedietly call the police and allow them to investigate. If someone did this to my daughter or my son there is no difference, they need a boot in their tail and some bars in their face..

http://www.circleofmoms.com/just-debates...

Tah - posted on 10/25/2011

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i would go to jail..anymore questions...

Robynn - posted on 10/25/2011

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i would call the police and report her as a sexual preditor. then i would get your son couseling for his behavior and what is to come with his attitude. i would press charges against this women so she can no longer so this to another child. hope this helps and God bless!

Cheryl - posted on 10/25/2011

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Charge the 36y- Soon as you can

Shannon - posted on 10/21/2011

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i would have flipped out tooo and if i was u id turn her in what the heck is wrong with her that is just not ok at all

Christina - posted on 10/21/2011

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Oh my!! I have sons so this hits too close to home for me!! Yeah I hate to say it, but if you didnt want the police invoived then a knock on this womens door would be coming from me & my husband & a sit down ASAP!! She would be instructed to have absolutly no contact with him at all. To be honest with you, Id probably have to call the police too & report it anyway after I talked to her...because this woman is obviously disturbed & needs to be reported! If she had relations with your 15 yr old once then she wont care about the situation to do it again reguardless of your concerns & if not with yours then with other young boys!!! I pray for your family!!!

Vickie - posted on 10/19/2011

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I'd put an end to it fast! A 15 year old is a minor and this is definitely a child molester. I'd go to the police immediately and have that woman arrested.

Indya - posted on 10/18/2011

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If the age of consent in your state is 16 then this is a criminal offense and she should be reported!

Rose - posted on 10/18/2011

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Call the police right away, there is a law protecting your son. The woman is using your child and it is up to you to protect him, even if he gets mand, and he will. It is OK, that is normanl, but you are the parent and need to protect him. Seek councling right away too. He is going to be mad and want to protect her, and he will have a lot of feelings to sort out. Look for a good therapst who specializes in adolecent boys, maybe the police will have a list to choose from or ask his doctor or check at your church if you go to one. I will be praying for you, it won't be easy, but I am sure you will do the right thing.

Brownie - posted on 10/17/2011

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Did you know that your son was involved in any sort of relationship at all? I would put him on punishment and find him a youth program and a mentor. As for the old woman; I would immediately press charges against it.

Sherri - posted on 10/17/2011

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@Marie we get your point you keep stating the exact same things over and over and over again.

Bev - posted on 10/17/2011

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Marie, no matter how many times you keep saying it does not make it so....and no one could be sued for false arrest - you don't know what you are talking about - again....it is child abuse and nothing for anyone to brag about...who are you covering up for?

Marie - posted on 10/16/2011

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He is not going to lie to the therapist I bet he tells them that it never happened. Just bragging to be big man at school to other boys.

Marie - posted on 10/16/2011

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No you should have had proof before calling the cops on the person. You could get sued for false arrest.