When a Dad won't be a DAD....to my teenager

Nina - posted on 04/29/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My son is almost 17 and his dad has never really been a GOOD part of his life...now he is wanting to play the "COOL friend/ father".....and acting like he is a teenager. I got enough to deal with...just him being a teenager and I do not like his dad. I tried talking to him and I might as well talk to a wall....it is all about HIM and NOT our son....PLEASE HELP?? So I guess I got 2 problems....the sperm donor and MY SON....Do I have to just let my son figure out what I figured out 17 years ago about his dad or....what do I do?

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5 Comments

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Stacey - posted on 05/02/2010

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I let my daughter come to her own realization about her father. I tried not to put my opinions on her. And I have to say that she now sees his true colors. I don't think you are ever going to reach the Father, don't waste your energy.

Emily - posted on 05/02/2010

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Sometimes in life we have to let our kid find out for them self. It hard but im try to let my 17 figured it out with his dad.Just let him know that you are there for him and u love him we have stronger kids and i hate to say it but they will see it like we do they know who is there for them no matter whats going on. GOD will help you

Nina - posted on 04/30/2010

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Thanks both of you.....

Irene - posted on 04/30/2010

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My son has never known his father - he is 16 years old and has been through a lot lately. I made the choice to bring him up on my own and not to have anything to do with his dad. In hindsight I would have not made this choice - I would have let his dad be involved as much as he wanted - the novelty would have worn off and my son would have seen him for what he is and have made the right choice. We can't stop bad things from happening to our kids - that is life - we can be there for them and try to protect them. We can instill moral values and try and bring them up to be decent human beings - in the end though they do make choices and your son (although you don't want to acknowledge it :) ) is actually almost a man and is going to have to start making choices for himself. Obviously one would have to also take into account what his father is like and if there are risks involved for example drugs etc . Good luck , its a hard decision.

Genia - posted on 04/29/2010

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you are going to let your son figure it out for himself. If you try to point out his dads faults to him it will fall on death ears and you will look like the bad guy. Just make sure you are there for him when/ if his dad disappoints him. It is always senior year when they want to come back into the picture with there chest all out like they are the ones whom got the child to this point in life.