When did you first let your daughter shave?

[deleted account] ( 108 moms have responded )

My daughter is only 11 and she is bugging me to let her shave her legs. My first response was that she was too young and didn't need to shave. She informed me that "all" her friends shave and that she does to need to because her legs are very hairy. And yes, she does have hairy legs but it is blonde and I informed her that it is normal to have hair on your legs.



But I'm still thinking about her comment that her friends are shaving. At first I was appalled. To me that is like little girls (5 and under) wearing bright red nail polish. Moms let them do it because they think it is cute but I feel it is not appropriate, though not a big deal, it is teaching them to be sexy too young. My daughter has only started to change and still a little girl physically. Am I wrong to not let her shave? Do you think this may stimatize her with her peers?

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Amy - posted on 12/30/2009

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I never thought this was a big issue. I am a 2nd generation Italian-American, and I was blessed (or cursed) with thick, course, quickly growing hair on my legs and underarms. My poor girls inherited this as well. When they were about 8 they started to complain saying all their friends made fun of them in school because of their dark, course hair. I showed them the proper way to shave their legs, and they've been doing it since without issue. Make it fun for them...buy shaving cream and show them the proper way...advise of the responsibility and severity of being delicate so they don't get hurt and how to store a razor and when to change to a new one, but it's not a big deal at all.

Kathy - posted on 12/09/2009

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my daughter was also about 11 when she first asked to shave her legs . i said no for about a year and a 1/2 i think she was about 12 and 1/2 which was too because it became more of an issue in the summer . now that she is turing 16 in a few days i look back and see that is a very small issue . she just wants to do it because all her friends are. i say pick your battles . maybe revisit the issue in summer when her legs are showing . you don't want her to get teased because she is the only one who doesn't shave yet . just a thought . good luck .

Karen - posted on 12/07/2009

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hi my name is karen butt, it all depends on how hairy she is.i start shaving my daughters legs at 8 years old, because she was very hairy. when she wore tights you could see the hair right through them, its not bad even if you did it for her the first few times. hope i could help.

Karrie - posted on 12/06/2009

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i'm glad that you decided to let her go ahead and shave. just think of it this way...when you notice a little hair under her arms, are you really going to let her go out without shaving (especially if she's wearing something that shows it)? the kids at her school probably look at hairy legs the same as most of us do hairy underarms...its nasty to see hair under a womans underarms

[deleted account]

I don't have daughters, so am maybe not qualified to answer this question. however, my parents didn't let any of us girls shave until we had turned 12. (one sister got pierced ears at age 10, and me and the other sister got pierced ears at 12. we also couldn't wear make up until 12-years old, either. As the mother of boys, THANK YOU for trying to NOT let them grow up so fast! It's too bad that more mothers (of both genders) allow their kids to grow up according to other kids and not by their own selves. My 13-year old is interested in girls, but not into dating. he likes being friends with girls, but he's not a girl-crazed teenager yet..

Dianne - posted on 12/06/2009

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My daughter was about 11 - she made the swim team and wanted to look sleek. We both sat on the bathtub and I showed her how to do it and how to moisturise afterwards.

Jennifer - posted on 12/06/2009

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My youngest daughter was about the same age when she asked. We discussed why it was important to her. It seems that at middle school the kids dress out and all of the girls were comparing legs and only a few did not shave yet. I also thought it was young and the thought of her cutting her legs frightened me. We compromised on an electric shaver for her legs and razors with the safety wire for her under arms. I felt it was not a bad compromise to make considering how important self esteem is at that age.

Cheryl - posted on 12/06/2009

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i started shaving at 11 its not for the boys and to look sexy,why they do it its the pressure from school, not wanting to get bullied for having hairy legs, feeling confident to wear a skirt.I wouldnt worry about you seeing it as a way of teaching them to be sexy,its just a way of feeling comfetable and confident when wearing a skirt doing sport at school ect..

Lulu - posted on 12/05/2009

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I think it depends on you, but I can say that I did shaved when I was 11 and I let my daughter shave at 11. She express how uncomfortable she felt with hairy legs and I remember feeling the same way whe I was 11 so I let her. Everything is OK, no big deal

Stacey - posted on 12/05/2009

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mine is 11 & started middle school this year,i held off my oldest 18 now, till 6gr she had light hair on her legs. but my 11 yr old started in 5 grd it was part of her birthday present. she had REALLY dark hair on her legs,i always thought her knees were dirty, but it was the hair, she is happier now ,w/ better selfesteme. girls @ this age can be VERY mean to each other. mine only shaves to the top of her knee no farther. hope this helps

Sarah Pixie - posted on 12/04/2009

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my daughter is also 11 n i have faced the same problem, but i will not let her shave her legs because of cuttin herself i no how it hurts lol x so we decided to use hair removin cream. my only reason for this is as megans legs were very hairy n the hairs on her legs r very dark i didnt want her gettin picked on at senior skl as i no how bitchy gals can bx so i thoguht i did the write thing xxx

Norma - posted on 01/30/2009

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I let my daughter shave her legs when she was 11. She had a lot of hair - she was almost furry:) It really bothered her and I thought - what's the big deal.

Elle - posted on 01/19/2009

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My daughter was eleven too and I thought too young, but it seemed to me that she needed it to and I think that now being 42, I had started that young, in fact I just did it. Times are a changing, but if that is the request, that is not such a bad one. We have so much more coming at us.

Naiyana - posted on 01/17/2009

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Now that my daughter is 16, shaving her legs seems so unimportant. At the time she asked me (11 also) I too was resistant to it. Now, knowing what I know, some battles aren't worth it. Something my parents keep reminding me when I go ask for advise..."is this really going to matter a year from now?" I constantly screw up as a parent and I may not know how to help you because our values may differ.

Nicola - posted on 01/17/2009

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Quoting Kaya:

When did you first let your daughter shave?

My daughter is only 11 and she is bugging me to let her shave her legs. My first response was that she was too young and didn't need to shave. She informed me that "all" her friends shave and that she does to need to because her legs are very hairy. And yes, she does have hairy legs but it is blonde and I informed her that it is normal to have hair on your legs.

But I'm still thinking about her comment that her friends are shaving. At first I was appalled. To me that is like little girls (5 and under) wearing bright red nail polish. Moms let them do it because they think it is cute but I feel it is not appropriate, though not a big deal, it is teaching them to be sexy too young. My daughter has only started to change and still a little girl physically. Am I wrong to not let her shave? Do you think this may stimatize her with her peers?


hi my name is nikki, i to have an 11 year old daughter,  sophie, ahe will be 12 on wed she did the same thing wanted to shave her legs i bought her a lady shaver for xmas this was because i found little cuts on her legs due to her shaving her legs without me knowing because she was getting teased at school, so because i didnt want her getting hurt i bought her a safer one then the one she was using. i did tell her off a i didnt want her doing it but i could se that she was upset x

Ginette - posted on 01/15/2009

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My 2 girls started around 101/2 because one is very dark and was self conscious at gym (they wear shorts and t-shirt).  Some of the other girls had started earlier but I oheld on for a bit.  Being dark-haired I could understand. 



For my more fairhaired daughter I did the same test my aunt did for my cousins; if it shos through pantyhose (with no encouragement) then it's long enough to shave.



I think 11 is a good age.  They know they have more coming and it helps them take things in little steps.  They will be losing a lot of control over their newer bodies in the next few years.  Let them control what they CAN. 

Margaret - posted on 01/15/2009

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My oldest (now 21) started shaving about 11 or 12. My youngest (14) started shaving at 6. Each situation is different and and decisions should based one how the situation is effecting your child on a daily basis. My oldest was not "hairy"...my youngest was. When she came home from school crying that not only the boys but the girls were calling her "cousin it" something had to be done. We talked about self esteem...but in the end... we had a issue that needed to addressed sooner then we planned. Was I going to follow societies issues of "she is too young to shave...how could you" or do what was right for my child. We made the decision that if we could eliminate something that was causing her such distress...it would be wrong for us not to do so. I remember the first night like it was yesterday.. She walked out showing off her legs, they looked like all the other little girls. So please, do not judge the decision that other make for their family.. make the choice that is best for your individual situation.

Helen - posted on 01/15/2009

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And including them in the raising them  is important too. I would rather talk to my daughter about what is going on in her life and nut out some decision your both happy to accept and live with than not have them listen to you and do things behind your back. Educating them seems to work far better than yelling and screaming. I am glad that my daughter can come to me when situation like the shaving comes up. She values my opion and more often than not will go with what i feel is right for her.

Jackie - posted on 01/15/2009

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TOTALLY agree! And it would be so great if we all had all the answers that were perfect for our daughters!

Jackie - posted on 01/15/2009

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I agree with educating them. One mom said that she didnt feel that her daughter should feel she has to shave.
Well... think about that statement..."you should not feel like you need to shave" I just find that statement difficult. Education is one thing... but telling your child they should not feel a certain way..?.. I have a big problem with that.
Where does it stop? Do you tell an over weight teen... "you should not feel hungry?" or do you educate them on healthy choices.
I strongly agree on talking with your teen about the pros and cons of shaving at an early age. But to simply say... you should not feel like you need to shave...
aauuugghhh... I think that mom and teen are on their way to disaster.

Karen - posted on 01/15/2009

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Jeannette~ thats is exactly how i felt..i did the same thing. I agree that girls at this age should not be handling razors. My daughter is happy with her electric shaver as well..



jackie~ i dont think anyone is telling their child how to feel..but so any  time your child comes to you with something you dont think it is ok to try to educate them on the real issues that they are concerned about and not just let them do something?  I dont think educating your young girl or finding alternatives to something they want to do at a young age is choosing a hard road...i think it is better parenting.

Jeannette - posted on 01/15/2009

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My daughter started complaining about her arm pit hair around 10/11 and her leg hair not long after. II was dead set against a child of her age using razors I went out and got her a moderately priced electric shaver ( with good reviews) and she's 16 now and still using it. My mother never taught me how to shave, I learned on my own and have the scars to prove it!

Deena - posted on 01/14/2009

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My daughter is in a group of girls at school that have always acted older than thier age and been exposed to things beyond thier years.  Now at age 12 she thinks she should have the same rights and privledges of a 15-16 year old.  When she first asked to shave at age 11 I tried to talk her out of it becuse she already has so many pressures to be older than she is.  But she also started mentruation at age 11 (way too early for me).  She spent all summer wearing jeans(even when it was 100 degrees) because she was embarrassed by her light blonde barely visible hair.  So this fall when school started I agreed she could shave.  I agree that her self esteem was at stake. but now she will have to shave for so many more years.  I wish society would let our kids grow up more slowly.

Jameshia - posted on 01/14/2009

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i think you are doing well...my daughter is ten, sne wants to shave, her hair permed, and she came home from her fathers house with red polish when the rule is pink or lighter! i agree that some mothers thinking things are cute cause them to grow up too soon!



 



don't change your ways, she is your daughter and you raise her the way God is telling you to.

Jameshia - posted on 01/14/2009

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i think you are doing well...my daughter is ten, sne wants to shave, her hair permed, and she came home from her fathers house with red polish when the rule is pink or lighter! i agree that some mothers thinking things are cute cause them to grow up too soon!



 



don't change your ways, she is your daughter and you raise her the way God is telling you to.

Jackie - posted on 01/14/2009

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Just a heads up... no one can tell a child that they should not fee something.
Not even a parent. If they are feeling something... it is real to them... whether it be...
--feeling insecure
--having hurt feelings about something
--or even feeling they are 'inlove' at 15years old.
If they feel it... it is real to them. and to tell them that they should not feel those things... aauuugghhhh... you are going to have a hard road.

Shauna - posted on 01/14/2009

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I started letting my daugher shave when she was 10. Her Dad was opposed to this decision. However, I am glad I did because she started her cycle when she was 11. And she still had a little girl appearance. She will be 14 soon and trust me this is one of the easier decisions you will have to make!

Helen - posted on 01/13/2009

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I think around that age or around the age wher puberty starts to set in is a propriate time for your child to start to shave. Un like us a lot of  us mums were probably on the 13-15 years of age when we hit puberty. Kids these days are hitting that stage earlier and earlier. I am one of those kids that was made to hold off until i was 15 and the cruelty of other chidren picking on you because your legs are hairy or your under arms stink because you havent shaved even though you have put deodarant on. I totally understand where you are coming from but if you talk to your daughter and teach her how to dress appropriately etc and you will find you will she will learn to respect her own body and not to use it as a tool to get the boys. Plus if you dont let her do it one day she will stay at a friends and do it anyway because she wants to be a normal girls doing normal girly things. Give her a chance to prove she does respect herself.

Angela - posted on 01/13/2009

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trouble is if you refuse they may just do it behind your back and then you set up dishonesty and danger. better to show and advise than stop the flow of growing up.

I was quite upset when my almost 14yr old asked for the pill. she expressed that she was a virgin but wanted to regulate her periods. Whether that was true or not, an unwanted pregnancy is much worse and communication remained open.

Danette - posted on 01/12/2009

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I let my daughter start shaving as soon as she became aware of her hairy legs. I think she was about 11 or 12 but it depends on their maturity level I guess. If they can handle the razer I don't think it matters.

Karen - posted on 01/12/2009

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oh and another reason to encourage your daughter to wait is if she has any problems with dermatitis(chronic dry skin)...becuase there is no such thing as a sensitive skin RAZOR!..and it will make their skin worse...so for all those who dont think its a big deal to have little girls shave..i just hope they dont have any skin problems!

Karen - posted on 01/12/2009

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Its not that i think it is a big deal but i just dont feel like she should have to feel that she needs to shave her legs already. There is already so many pressures on our young daughters as it is, i just dont think this should be one of them. I know i didnt shave at 10 but i have also accepted that things have changed since i was that age. I just wish they wouldnt try to grow up so fast and enjoy being a carefree kid! But i do agree if it is upsetting your daughter that they should be given some way to remove hair whether it being shaving or electric razor or something.

Stacy - posted on 01/11/2009

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My 1st daughter started at 11.  My 2nd daughter watched my first daughter and decided to Shave on her own at 9.  I told her she didn't need to be secretive if it was really important.  I feel like there are bigger obstacles to come.  If she feels she can talk to me about shaving her legs it is a gateway to future discussions.  Just my take. 

Laurie - posted on 01/10/2009

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My daughter was 11 as well, how ever I let her because she is 1/2 italian and her hair was very visible.  We sat down and talked about it first. I told her once she started she couldn't stop.  If she decided to stop they would be 10 times worse then before she started to shave.  She has been shaving for about 6 months now, she still does it, when needed, in the warmer months anyways...when skirts and shorts are worn.

Karen - posted on 01/09/2009

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My daughter just turned 11 in December and i just went through the same thing with her!..But her hair was very noticable and dark..so what i did was got her an elctric shaver so that way it trimmed it down atleast and that seemed to make her more comfortable..I was the same way..i thought it was way to young!..but this seemed to be ok with her

Amber - posted on 01/06/2009

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I remember being much younger than her and getting teased for my hair on my legs being too long.  My hairs on my legs are blonde.  It was embarrassing.  I had to take matters into my own hands then and just shave them. It's not about being sexy. I felt less self conscious. 

Malissa - posted on 01/06/2009

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I first started letting my daughter shave at 11 because she came home from the beach one day in tears because some of her friends teased her about haveing hairy legs. I don't think that it is teaching them to become sexy too young. I feel it teaches them good hygeine.

Angela - posted on 01/05/2009

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I let my daughter start shaving at 11 because her pubic hair was not hidden by her bathingsuit... it was sort of out of necessity

[deleted account]

I told my daughters that once they were going to high school then they could start shaving,waxing,bleaching & plucking. This seems to have worked for all 3 of my daughters. Not ALL friends do everything, this is how our daughters make us feel guilty, as I found out when I approached other parents to ask their opinion on certain things that my girls told me that ALL their friends are allowed. Things like shaving, dating, parties & Yes even boyfriends sleeping over.

Jackie - posted on 01/04/2009

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I think I must be missing something here.

I am the oldest in my family of three girls.. for me... shaving was not a big deal. I dont remember asking my mom... I dont remember it being a big deal...

But when my sister was about 12 she and my mom had a big arguement about her shaving her legs...

I remember thinking... WHO CARES!!!

AND I still dont get it... if your child is self concious because she has a lisp you help her fix it... if you notice that she is shy... you do what you can to help her become more secure. soooo... if your daughter is feeling insecure about hairy legs... even in the winter time...during gym class...

WHY NOT LET HER SHAVE???

seems a pretty simple solution.

please please please... someone explain what the big deal is here?????

Deveron - posted on 12/27/2008

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I told my kids not until they could put the hair in pin curls. Oh yeah, they don't make pin curls anymore.

Jessica - posted on 12/27/2008

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I am glad you asked this question, my 11 year old daughter has been asking me if she can shave, and I have kind of been putting it off. Seeing all of the other responses here, has been very helpful and I feel more comfortable letting her do this now. Thanks!!!

Lynn - posted on 11/18/2008

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my daughter started at around 11 but she didnt tell me her friends were doing it . she was i think inbarest with all the hair on her legs. she was very hairy too. she was to the point of not wonting to ware shorts and dresses anymore so thats when i gave in. it was hard but i let her start.

Tiffanie - posted on 11/17/2008

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i started my kids when they hit 6th grade, to get them ready fro junior high. i started them on veet- its a lotion and then you use a shaver ( no razors) that helps remove the hair. it last about a week so they can do it on the weekend. My two daughters just started using shaving cream and razors... they are 7th and 8th grades. i agree with you, i had a hard time in letting it go and now my 8th grade girls needs to shave her arm pits.. when they get into to school when they have to dress down for gym it will make a difference with her self esteem.

Danielle - posted on 11/14/2008

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My daughter started begging me to let her shave her legs last summer- she was 12 and I figured it couldnt' hurt. I showed her how and bought her one of those razors with the tiny wires across the blades so the blades don't actually touch your skin. No nicks and cuts that way.



Now, less than a year later, she's whinning about having to shave so much because the hair on her legs is thicker and darker than it was before. LOL! Silly girl, I told her that would happen. Now she's stuck shaving her legs forever.

Marla - posted on 11/14/2008

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I let my daughter shave at 10, she had very hairy legs but it helped her self-esteem. Her friends were shaving but that wasn't my motivation. It made her feel stronger. At first, I didn't let her use a razor though, I had her use Nair and one of those plastic razors so she wouldn't cut herself.

Keisha - posted on 11/14/2008

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aww your welcome! I agree its great to have this site to help us.. It takes a village to raise a child...

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