when do teenagers turn 'human' again..........

Lisa - posted on 02/15/2009

LOL when the live life on there own w/o you in it for awhile or when they have there own kids.

Becky - posted on 02/15/2009

Great question. I'm new to the teenager thing, but when my oldest turned thirteen it was like a light switch that turned from "nice kid" to "attitudy teenager"!  :-)

Leni - posted on 02/15/2009

Kelly Glover.....I couldn't have said it better myself. I've learned to pick my battles and enjoy these years the best I can. I was a terrible, horrible, shudder to think about it - teenager, I think mostly because my parents and I were butting heads and it had to be their way or the highway.

"Set boundaries and stick by them, bend some rules, negotiate new ones"....It's always a learning experience for me when he throws new stuff at me. I have to consider everything before I blurt out an automatic NO. Mutual respect goes a long, long way.

Pati - posted on 02/14/2009

My daughter is 16 and she seems pretty normal human to me. I am not big on back talk or attitude, I dont like to argue or yell. On the other hand, she has a step brother who was 10 when she was born, he was about 12 when he became someone else, ended up moving back in with his real mom, last time I saw him a few years ago he was still not the guy who lived with me when his sister was born.

Ruth - posted on 02/14/2009

I just finished taking a class called active parenting of teens. It was well worth my time. In a nutshell here is what I learned: Don't take this personally, don't think you can treat your teen the way you treated her when she was young. The relationship changes - it needs to change. We're the "responsible" adults who need to take charge of this changing relationship. Here is a link to a story I wrote about the class I took here in San Diego County. I believe the classes are offered in many places. The class was relatively cheap - about $50 for four two-hour classes. I'm telling you, it was very helpful. Here is the link: http://suchasmartmom.com/2009/01/06/pare...
Best of luck. During my worst hours - I do remember that I, too, drove my mom crazy.
Ruth

Jeralyn - posted on 02/14/2009

I found that my teenage daughter turned human again at 18 and it

is only getting better

Jamine - posted on 02/14/2009

i think it starts to head toward normal at 16 with many regressions...at least i'm hoping... one of my 16 year olds (i have twins) can actually be pleasant to be around sometimes.  he's matured, for sure, and seems to have a little interest in the real adult world beyond himself.  Just a little, though, but I'll take what i can get!  uh-oh though, almost 13 year old sister headed to teendom.  i got "the look" for the first time last night.  and she's been an angel in every way!  It's inevitiable, the teen thing, otherwise they would live with us forever! Good luck parents of teens!  Try to remember who those kids really are and how teen years are really tough ones in so many ways for the teens.

Tracie - posted on 02/14/2009

Please...please...when you find that answer..let me know!....I thought my 19yr old was almost there...Just wondering what other babies were born on July 10,1989....don't think this ones mine..lol

Tracy - posted on 02/13/2009

I think I'm the only one whose kids remained human. They are 15 and 16 and I've hardly ever seen any of this stuff you are all talking about. Probably because I just don't tolerate attitude from anyone. I refuse to engage. Everyone I know has been telling me "just you wait, it will happen" but I honestly don't think it will.

Susan - posted on 02/13/2009

When they have kids of their own!

Kelly - posted on 02/11/2009

They are human all the time - they just think that the adult around them are aliens and so treat them that way. It can be hard to like them at times during the teenage years but as you understand them better, it gets easier. Let them experiment with who they are so they can decide who they want to become. Take a LOT of deep breaths, count to 10 often and in every language you know (learn to count to ten in many languages), go in your room, close the door and laugh your head off at how strange they have become. As you can see - humor goes a long way in getting through this stage.

Set boundaries and stick by them, bend some rules, negotiate new ones.

All they are trying to do is become adults and so expirementing with how to do this.

You will get through this and so will they.

Enjoy this time, it goes far too fast.

Kathryn - posted on 02/10/2009

I so agree with that one!!!

Heather - posted on 02/10/2009

35 according to my father in-law teenage boys loose their brains at12 and do not find them again until they are 35 and he should knew he raised 3 boys and 1 girl. I have to boys myself 15 and 11 and I agree with him

Kathleen - posted on 02/09/2009

I believe they return to normalcy when they move out on their own and COMPLETELY self reliant and the real world and real life runs on on them and jumps on their backs and they can't shake it b/c they didn't want to listen to us, LOL..

Amie - posted on 02/09/2009

Ohhh my gosh that is such a funny question? I don't know that answer either. My son is going to be 15 here real soon. And at this point he is in the Caveman stage(grunts and groans)

Kelly - posted on 02/09/2009

I truly wish I could give you an answer.  I have a 17 year old that has just totally became someone I just don't understand.  He is smart and has common sense but apparently both went on vacation.  He got kicked out of school, won't follow the rules and seems to not care about anything.  Please believe me when I say you are not the only one that is wondering the same thing.  My thoughts, realize you taught them the right things, what is right and wrong, and the respect they need to show.  The final decision has to be theirs.  Best of luck and if you find out before me, please let me know. 

Kelly - posted on 02/09/2009

I truly wish I could give you an answer.  I have a 17 year old that has just totally became someone I just don't understand.  He is smart and has common sense but apparently both went on vacation.  He got kicked out of school, won't follow the rules and seems to not care about anything.  Please believe me when I say you are not the only one that is wondering the same thing.  My thoughts, realize you taught them the right things, what is right and wrong, and the respect they need to show.  The final decision has to be theirs.  Best of luck and if you find out before me, please let me know. 

Lana - posted on 02/06/2009

I'm going with the 20 - 25 yr old cause my daughter's brain was abducted by aliens at around 13 but now at 22 she's wonderful .... now my teen boys ??? well LOL

Joan - posted on 02/06/2009

Oh God, soon I hope. My almost 19 year old is almost human again , but then he lives in another country. My 15 year old is still in a far away planet!

Roseanna - posted on 02/06/2009

Hey,

My son was about 23 when he returned to the human race. He's 31 now and can't believe what I go threw with my daughters. A whole different perspective when it's not them anymore....LOL BTW thanks for your support with my question about my girls, anytime you want to chat you know where to find me. ;o)

Sonal - posted on 02/06/2009

hi,

U forget that the probs with children @ puberty is because of the hormonal imbalance.Poor darlings r unable 2 cope with the physical and mental changes. Be patient and give them  their space. That's wat I did with my daughter who is now 18. Gud Luc

Stephanie - posted on 02/05/2009

Unfortunately it has to do with hormones and the groups of friends they hang around with as well as when they have their first job they think they know everything.

Unfortunately we have to be patient which is not easy especially with the added burden of outside influences.

Encourage them that you will be there always for them to the best of your abilities. Be firm but not over authoritive for they are trying to be young adults therefore give them some responsibilities that they can handle for their maturity level. This will be trial and error.

Have ground rules to their maturity level.

Also tell them when you will not tolerate their behaviour as calmly as possible for they like to rile you up and make you yell at them.

It is not an easy feat at all raising this group I know I have 3 plus work with youth.

I keep remembering what it was like when I was a teenager gee we had it easy compared to the teenagers of today.

I remember the arguments and fights I had with mine but they remained calm also firm with me and at times it made me madder or I just gave up for I was not winning the argument.

Now that I have teenagers we talk about how I was like and I have said sorry for the heartache I caused them.

This wasn't until I was a parent myself then I realised.

Good luck and take care

Steph

Lisa - posted on 02/05/2009

Quoting Lesley:

Hi Zoe

Its good to know I'm not the only one asking that big question.  My daughter is 13 and has totally changed since puberty last year.  One of the biggest hurts for me is that she was a really affectionate and loving child and now wont even let me put my arm round her!!  I know there are worst things but I find it sad that I'm losing her.  Its a long time to wait til she's 21 or 23 to get her back, I hope its sooner!  Good luck to us all that what I say.

Lesley

I totally sympathize with you.  My youngest is 14 and he and I were always close. Now he can't stand me, I'm annoying, a nag, and he actually fights me off if I try to hug him.  Its especially hard for me because he's my "baby" and he just doesn't get it.  I'm encouraged that maybe one day it will be different, but 23 is a long time to wait.

Barbra - posted on 02/05/2009

Zoe, It looks like you have boys. I have 1 girl and 1 boy, the girl being older. My daughter is about to turn 17. Although we still butt heads every now and then, I see her becoming more respectful and responsible. She is now actually fun to talk to! Make no mistake, she still knows everything! My 13 year old son wants to "hand out in his room" and he mumbles when he speaks....this is a whole different thing from my daughter!

Sarah - posted on 02/04/2009

I agree with two things raised here

1) when they move out of home and start to raise their own family - hehehe:)

All of a sudden they have to fend for themselves and appreciate you more LOL

2) Girls about 21 - 22 and boys a bit later 23 -24

Karen - posted on 02/04/2009

Do you hear your mother in the things you say? We've all been thre. Only now they have more...................attitude! They can get away with more because the UK laws say we can't touch them and they know it. Where has the discipline gone? I would never have spoken to my parents they way they get away with it nowadays, and I'm forever pulling my two for the way they talk AT they're dad. They don't get away with it with me, but I still put it down to lack of outside control! Schools can't touch them, police can't touch them, and they know it! They think they're untouchable, and to a certain degree, they are!!!!!! I just hope my two snap out of it pretty quick.

Pam - posted on 02/04/2009

My son is 18 and does not have quite as many alien moments now. However, my 13 year old son is now turning!!!  My dad says when we have kids of our own, but then we start turning into our parents because I am now saying it to mine!!!  Who's the alien?? Lol

Pam - posted on 02/04/2009

My son is 18 and does not have quite as many alien moments now. However, my 13 year old son is now turning!!!  My dad says when we have kids of our own, but then we start turning into our parents because I am now saying it to mine!!!  Who's the alien?? Lol

Deborah - posted on 02/04/2009

Never they turn 20 lol,  Good luck.

Carrie - posted on 01/29/2009

I take it the teenager is a boy??? With my girls (16 & 19), they went through a stage at 13 and 14 when they were trying to strike up a bit of independence... Then...they came back to me. We continue to do a lot as a family...meals, game night, movie nights, etc. Also, I have allowed my girls to fill the basement with their friends for big screen tv movies, guitar hero parties, etc. It's helped to keep them close to home...no drugs, drinking, etc. They have their independence too..each with their own car, but there are strict rules that go along with that. Good luck.

Lesley - posted on 01/29/2009

Hi Zoe

Its good to know I'm not the only one asking that big question.  My daughter is 13 and has totally changed since puberty last year.  One of the biggest hurts for me is that she was a really affectionate and loving child and now wont even let me put my arm round her!!  I know there are worst things but I find it sad that I'm losing her.  Its a long time to wait til she's 21 or 23 to get her back, I hope its sooner!  Good luck to us all that what I say.

Lesley

Melinda - posted on 01/29/2009

Good question.  We're dealing with four at the same time right now.  Two girls and two boys ages 17, 17, 16, and 13.  I'm only 35 and my hair has started going past gray and straight to white.  The 2 boys are from my husbands previous marraige and the girls are mine from my previous marraige.  The girls I noticed started turning into something else around the age of 12-13.  Not sure about the boys because we weren't together then.  We have dealt w/all kinds of attitude problems...temper fits, thinking they know it all, etc.  It's a constant battle to stay on top with all of them.  The boys right now are going thru getting in trouble at school and doing things they shouldn't be doing.  We know they're not involved in drugs..we give them surprise tests.  They just think they are invinsible, know everything, and Dad and I are dumb as dirt.  We are gradually starting to see a change in the two older ones...more responsibility, less attitude, and respect for others.  I'm not sure exactly when they become human again, but I know it's a gradual process and will eventually happen.  Good luck and best wishes.  Hang in there, it will get better.

User - posted on 01/28/2009

I learned in my childhood development classes that "kids" brains aren't fully developed until about age 23. I never really believed that until my oldest child turned 23. A light bulb seemed to turn on in his brain and suddenly he was an adult. More responsible, more grateful for what his parents had done for him. I always kidded that I would like to lock my kids in a closet from age 12 to 21...I've moved it up to 23!

Carol - posted on 01/28/2009

Depends on the kid - my 20-year old daughter has been tough since day one. But I can see her becoming more human day by day. I think they do need to move out in order to be able to come back. I know that I was rotten to my own mom unti I had kids of my own.

Carol

A Household Word

Shelly - posted on 01/28/2009

LOL!  I have been through two teenagers and am entering my third and last.  My heart goes out to you.  Teenagers are tough.  They are struggling with independence and dependence.  I promise you, there is an end.  They begin to realize that you are not dumb about the age of 23, and then finally normalize at age 24-25.  I was told this by a wise old man (my grandfather) and have found it to be true.  Hang in there.

Kelly - posted on 01/27/2009

I think they become human again when they are freshmen in college and they realize that mommy and daddy aren't around them all the time.  This has both it's good and bad points, but mostly good.  They appreciate actually how well they had it and stop taking things for granted.

Lynn - posted on 01/27/2009

Let me know when you find out...lol!!!

Ginny - posted on 01/24/2009

Some emergence by about 20 but not fully engaged again until 25. Good luck!

Leann - posted on 01/24/2009

When my daughter headed to college! That's when I got her back!

Patricia - posted on 01/24/2009

Hi Zoe, When they leave home! Only then do they appreciate everything you have sacrificed, the late nights, the constant tidying up, the arguments [You are not going out dressed like that!!} the strain of turning them out to be `good people', the money you lend but never get back, the love you give endlessly........

The list goes on and on.....

Good Luck!

Deangela-Deanne - posted on 01/23/2009

At 25 years of age!

Andrea - posted on 01/23/2009

Quoting Zoe:

when do teenagers turn 'human' again..........when they have kids of their own.

Michelle - posted on 01/22/2009

My daughter was abducted by aliens (teenage hormones) at 10 and didn't become human again til 16. Not compleatly human mind you. But thats when she started to become human again. Good luck!

Jennifer - posted on 01/22/2009

If you get a definite answer let me know.

Shelly - posted on 01/22/2009

Zoe,  Hope that your teen is an older teen because you have 15 to 20  yrs.  You start getting smarter when they are about 30.  I'm still waiting for my three 23, 17, 15 yros to figure out that thier father and I weren't born this size.  Good Luck