Kelli - posted on 03/27/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )
My 17 year old son (he will be 18 in May) stopped going to school at the end of grade 10. He should have graduated grade 12 this year with his friends but he is missing 2 grade 10 credits, and all his credits for grade 11 and 12. He said he was depressed, so I have taken him for counselling, and to a psychiatrist. We have tried medication, but he won't take it on his own, and gets angry when I try to get him to wake up and take it before I leave for work in the morning. He sleeps all day..most of the time he is still in bed when I get home from work at 5. He says he is depressed, and that it is because he has a bad relationship with his dad.(we have been apart since 1999) His mood is good if he is not challenged on going to school, or getting out of bed and doing somethng useful. When he feels I am pressuring him too much, he destroys things...a brand new leather chair with a knife....he punched holes in the wall in his room...he punched a bifold closet door and broke it...kicked my daughter's bedroom door and cracked it..etc...etc..He has stolen my car twice..the second time the police caught him and fined him..then he got a suspension for not paying the fine. I had the option to lay charges but didn't because I didn't want that to follow him on his employment record. Another night he was angry and sat on a chair outside my bedroom door while my daughter and I were in the room. Then he left for a few minutes and came back and told me good luck driving my car the next day. He said he had done something to it.
He attended a young adult program for a few weeks, but did not make it every day..especially when the classes started in the morning. He expects a ride everywhere..and part of that is my problem for giving in. He does have a part time job, and that is about the only thing he does...unless his friends are having a party. I told him that at 18 he would have to start paying board. He said he can't because he wants to get a truck and his insurance will be over $500 a month. Today his boss called to see if he would work...my son never answered the phone, even though he has one in his room. My daughter checked the message and he could have worked today, but by the time he called back several hours later, they had called someone else. He stayed in bed. I have listed my house for sale. Told both my kids the realtor was coming by today to look at the house and get a key. We left a key out for her. She called several times before she came over....my daughter was out but my son did not answer the phone. She came to the house and rang the doorbell...he didn't answer...she unlocked the door and came in to see the house..and found him still in bed. He was still there when I got home at 5. Tomorrow a photograher is coming for pictures. I told him if he is not out of bed, he is out..and that if he spends one more day in bed..he is out. He says he is depressed, but he doesn't act it when he is out of bed and no one is challenging him, or when he is at work or with his friends. He has ADD and he blames a lot on that but I think he is using that as an excuse. When he is up, he is watching TV or playing video games.
I have really had enough. A lot more has gone on than what I have written here, but I could fill a book. I feel like I have failed as a parent, although I have successfully raised 3 other children. I think he has just gotten lazy and nothing is going to change unless he is forced to deal with life. Maybe the best thing I can do is kick him out??