When is it the right time to take your teen to the GYN?

Shannon - posted on 02/22/2010 ( 18 moms have responded )

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My 13 year old has had her monthly since she was 9 and every mood swing came along with it. Now we have hit a point where most of her friends have had sex. And when I get on line and just sit and read some of the problems alot of moms are facing it leaves me with the same question everytime. Do I need to take her to see my GYN? We have had the "Talk" and her friends a
have also filled her in on everything else. So we have had the "Talk" here lately almost daily. I know at this point she has not had sex and I try to always make sure the time never comes up where she has the chance. But I have learned that some kids are skipping classes and leaving school to spend time with boy friends. I am just trying to find out am I being too freaked out by wanting to take her and have her put on the pill. I do not want her to think the pill makes it ok and I am worried about what it will do to her body but I do not want to be a grandmother at 33.....

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Silka - posted on 02/22/2010

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I agree with Lisa. My daughter has been on the birth control patch since she was 13. She started because of a recommendation from her pediatrician because her periods were very heavy and lasting two weeks on average. Since she started the patch she has been so much easier to deal with, Her mood swings are more under control and she is not so depressed all the time. She has never seen a gyn, but has had her first pap with her pediatrician this year after admitting that she was sexually active (she is now 16). I try not to judge her, just make sure that she is safe and healthy, and also I am with you...I got pregnant with her when I was 17 because I was way too scared to ask my parents for help with birth control, I definitely don't want to be a grandma at 34! My parents would never have let me get on birth control, they made it clear to me growing up that they felt it was a free pass to have sex. Well, they got a grandkid instead!

Lisa - posted on 02/22/2010

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Since I put my teen on the pill because of her period.(same situation with yours) My daughter has so much more happier and there are pills espically for teens. Teens today are leaving class and having sex in the bathrooms. Too bad that this has happened but I feel better knowing my daughter is protected too. I talk very openly with her and she knows its not a free pass to have sex. Everybody is different and I too did not want to be a grandma at age 35!!!

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Shannon - posted on 01/11/2013

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Meshelle is right - make sure you talk with her about EVERYTHING that being sexually active means - and i would suggest getting her a female Doc so she will feel more comfortable about going to them when the time is right. I (thankfully) didn't become a teenage mom - but i didn't go see my Mom's Doc either - until she got a FEMALE, no "old" man was going to look down there! She needs to feel comfortable with both you and the Doctor.... I'm dealing with a 16 yr old niece that can't keep a boyfriend cause she WON'T have sexual relations (of any type) with them - that's a hard discussion too.... my girl is only 9, but we have already started the discussions (in age appropriate terms), and i hope that our rapport will just continue to the point that she knows you don't WANT or NEED to have sex at such a young age! She sees a GP/GYN on a reg basis as her Doc - so i am hopeful this will also help us not to miss the best time to talk with the DOC.
P.S> - I was still playing with my dolls at 12-13!!

Andrea - posted on 01/05/2013

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Omg, my twin girls turn 13 in April. Fortunately they haven't started their periods, or have any interest in boys. This is scary to think kids as young as 12 are having sex, what's happening in the world, why are our kids growing up too quickly. When I was 16, that was old to be a virgin, but 12.. We need to be teaching our girls to respect themselves more and not rush to grow up.

Jane - posted on 04/18/2011

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Wow, I have been just talking about this with another friend of mine. We have a blog at http://www.motchat.com (mothers of tweens and teenns). This is one subject we are trying to approach too. We want to know how do you put your teen on the pill without giving the message that it is ok to go and have sex now??

Carmen - posted on 02/28/2010

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Jane, I whole-heartily agree with your concern for STD's and the necessity of condom use by sexually active teens, no matter the gender.

Jane - posted on 02/27/2010

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Girls do NOT need to see a GYN until they are sexually active. If you want to put her on the pill, that can be done by a family doctor. BUT, remember, the pill prevents pregnancy but not STD's. I would be more concerned about her having condoms rather than being on the pill.

Carmen - posted on 02/27/2010

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Hi Shannon, I really can't add more than others have. My daughter is now 17. I, as well, spoke with my GYN about when to bring her in. I was fortunate that in my doctor's office there is a doctor who "takes" the majority of teens who come into the office. I began taking my daughter when she was 15. We have always been very open about the human body and emotions that can affect development and the future. Trust is a vital part of any relationship... that between parent and child included.



I asked what the best contraception would be for her. My daughter started on the patch @ 15 and is doing well on it. We had several discussions prior to her beginning the patch. I made it very clear to her that putting her on birth control was not permission to have sex, nor is birth control a guarantee to not becoming pregnant. I have asked her to pose the question to herself as to what she would do if she ever became pregnant, how it would impact the plans she had for herself for the future and what she wanted in her future. In this day and age, no matter how you have reared a child, you need to be realistic. There is always the possibility of teenage pregnancy. Being honest and open is what will help most now as our teens age. My daughter didn't begin her menses as early as yours. When our daughters do enter that phase of their lives they physically become women, feeling the sexual urges and many able to bear children. You may not know when your child becomes sexually active despite open communication. Put yourself in her shoes. What, then, are your concerns?



My best to you and your daughter. Sometimes I wish there was a book of answers for life's questions.

Roberta - posted on 02/27/2010

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Shannon, It would be a good ideal to talk to your daughter's MD. Unlike the others i have a son, which i have talked with openly and trust that he will use protection not only for diseases but he doesn't want to be daddy yet. From personal exp. my mother handed me books and said read these when i started my period. your Dtr. should feel comfortable with GYN before needing them and Birth control may help with the mood swings and there may be things that she wants to know but is afraid to ask you and it would be better if she got the correct information say from a MD instead of her friends.

Bobbie - posted on 02/27/2010

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If it were me, I would have to explain God's plan for marraige, first. Then if you have instilled all your knowledge on the subject to her, explained the consequences of her actions. Told her about all the stds and other ramificatons you have to trust her to come to you if she decides to go through with it. She needs to know that she can trust you no matter what the question may be. No matter what she decides to do. And there are other methods of birthcontrol out there other than the pill. All methods take a commitment.

Kristel - posted on 02/26/2010

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Hi Shanon, my girls are 17 and 18 years old. We talked a lot about TRUST, its verry important for them to know you trust their feelings! I asked them to think about what would be worse to come and tell me; Mum I think i'm about having sex and need you to go with me to the GYN or Mum i'm pregnant! Well it worked they trust me so my youngest one has a boyfriend since November and on Monday we go to the GYN!
I'm almost 43 now and i'm not a grandmother yet. Wish you goodluck with your daughter Kristel

Heather - posted on 02/24/2010

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You are obviouly concerned so now is the right time for you to get more information for both you and your daughter. You are right it is not just a matter of putting her on the pill you need to know if there will be consequences for her now and when she is older because she went on too early but you also know the consequences if she falls pregnant at such a young age. Our teens need to hear the talk not just from home and school - if we get them used to being able to discuss things with dr's etc surely it must benefit them in the long run.

Mindy - posted on 02/24/2010

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i have a 15 year old daughter and i put her on the pill also at 13 for her periods. But what i did was take her to my gynocoligist for her pills. That way she is comfortable with my doctor before she has to have a papsmear or anything like that. She is not sexually active yet but i wanted her to be comfortable with a female dctr in case there are questions or comments she feels like she cant talk to me about. But fortunatly she is very open with me lol. So she goes once a year to our dctr and when the time comes that she is sexually active she will be as safe and educated as i can possibly teach her. My first experiance with a pap was horrible with a male dctr that i did not even know. I did not want her to go thru the same thing.

Sue - posted on 02/23/2010

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I have a 16 and a 13 year old. Be open about what's on your mind with her. We put our 16 year old on the pill and had to change to a shot called Depo-prevera . We also have had long talks about if when the time comes condoms still need to be used for STDs.Good luck

Tina - posted on 02/22/2010

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i have a 15 year daughter and i just put her on the patch.i think this was a good choice so she dont forget to take a pill everyday,and she doesnt want to gain weight so thats a plus she has a boyfriend and we have been very open with each other i was scared to do this like i give her permission it bothered me at first,i cant be with her 24 7 so at least im at ease with not being a grandma at 38. she as well started at 9 i did ask her ped. and he said when girls start early there body begins to have the urge to have sex...i feel good what i did for my daughter. :)

Silka - posted on 02/22/2010

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One more point...I don't know about you guys, but my experience with birth control has been that it makes my sex drive drop to almost non-existant. In my opinion that is a good thing when it comes to teens! :)

Meshelle - posted on 02/22/2010

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She doesn't need to see the doctor unless you are concerned she may have a problem, until she is ready to be sexually active. I asked my Gyno when my daughter should begin seeing her own. He informed me that unless she is sexually active there is no reason to see the "special" doc. He said, talk openly, let her know that if and when she is ready she should talk to me or another adult she trusts and then pick the right Gyno for her. Otherwise continue seeing her pediatrition and if there are concerns, bring up to him/her and they will reffer her and me in the right direction. I hope this helps you. It's hard being a parent of a teen with "active" friends. Cross your fingers and hope you raised her with common sense and respect for herself. Good luck!

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