who has teenage daughters who push you?
Cheryl - posted on 05/22/2009
i have a 14 yr old that has been on the edge for about a year now and getting worse...the tantrums, screaming and pushing every button possible. I have given up and do only what is necessary for her to survive...this includes food, roof over her head and making sure she goes to school and functions as necessary. I have developed stress related issues and try to deal with her daily and still not stress more. She has shunned all of us in the house - walking away, no interaction, taking things without asking or even returning them, etc. Like you...when will this end and will she get herself into trouble before it ends?
Amy - posted on 05/22/2009
I have a sixteen year old who used to push my buttons, argue, slam things, act like I was an idiot, it went on for two years (14-15). I just quit. Wouldn't argue anymore, wouldn't give her advice, do her laundry, pick up after her, let her use the phone. The only luxury she had was 3 prepared meals a day, I took away the computer, the TV, she had only what she NEEDED. She got lonely and offended when I wouldn't interact with her. I think she missed me. It took about 2 months for her and I to have a conversation, but it was an actual conversation, no yelling or crying. We've become closer than we ever were before it happened.
Sara - posted on 05/21/2009
Probably when they learn that all actions have consequences - it's really hard as you feel that you should back them up all the time but I suppose they sometimes have to learn the hard way. I just hope with mine that they have listened to all the advice I've given them and it will one day spring to the surface. Just remember that you can't be with them 24/7 - it's not your fault!!
Jennifer - posted on 05/18/2009
I have 6 children, ages 11-19. Three boys & three girls, all stair stepped in age. All still breathing, no thanks to their attitudes!
My personal favorite is when they turn on themselves. I know, sounds sick, right? Give it time, you too will find pleasure in the little things! ;o)
When my 14 year old daughter was having a particularly bad PMS day, my 13 year old son threw a plastic bottle of Pamprin at her and said, "Got Pamprin?" The bottle clocked her right in the forehead!
Of course, she burst into tears. Then started laughing when the entire room cracked up. She's 19 now and we all still laugh about it.
I know that doesn't make the day to day stuff any easier. I wish I had the majic answer, but I don't think there is one. I think I tell myself a million times a day, "This too shall pass...or they will!"
One thing that does help me is looking back on old pictures (you know, the ones of when you liked them, usually when they couldn't talk or move?!). Most times they will join in and you'll have a brief repreive.
Jessica - posted on 05/14/2009
I have a 14 year old daughter who thinks she knows everything, won't listen, the whole nine yards. She has been this way for a couple of years now. She knows how to push my buttons. I am learning how to remain calm with her and it is hard but I am trying. The main thing I think is setting boundaries and making them stick to it and following through on the consequences if they don't. It is hard because you have to deal with the attitude etc. You might try listening to or reading Parenting Teens with Love & Logic by Foster Cline MD and Jim Fay.
Bobbi - posted on 05/13/2009
I have a girl that's almost 13. She's very angry, disrespectful and sometimes just downright hateful. Her 19 yr old sister? Total opposite!! The only thing I've learned is to respond with "If YOU choose to act that way, talk that way, etc then such and such will happen" It usually means take the phone or computer away. Then I leave her alone and don't react to anything else she says or does. After a bit it stops and she's this wonderful, happy, smiling child. I know alot of her problem is she wants to move back to her dads but grades slipped and attitude was much worse. Good luck!!
Scotti - posted on 05/13/2009
Hello!! And NO you're not alone on that one.. I have a 14 anda 16 girls and they both are like that.. well my 16 isn't as back now but my 14 year old is the worst.. She doesn't like to tell my anything. I keep telling myself she will change someday but it needs to be fast..What am I to do with her??
NICOLE - posted on 05/13/2009
I also have a teen daughter (15.4) and there are days when I would like to trade her in for 2 toddlers!! lol! Children & teens need boundaries - I have found that if I stick to my guns she comes around. After all, food, water, roof over head - everything else in life is a privelage!!!!
Michelle - posted on 05/12/2009
Drink alcohol.. does numb it. Not a good answer for long term.
Act like you are not listening to her. You deserve respect ! She can handle it until she is 18, right ?
I had to get very stern with three word sentences. It took a long time but she does listen now. BE TOUGH and hang in there you are reallly not alone - reach out to others and try to have a smile
Joy - posted on 05/12/2009
Came home today early for the third time and she wasn't here. She has been told numerous times to call if she steps out. However, she still chooses to do what she wants. All teens push and don't listen, and all we can do is pray for their safety.
Caroline - posted on 05/12/2009
Hi, YES, I have a 14 year old daughter who doesn't listen, I try talking to her nicely but at the moment it is just about impossible to have a proper conversation with her. She just shrugs her shoulders or walks off. If shes been out with friends I ask where shes been and her reply is usually " oh, somewhere" or "nowhere!". I keep telling myself, Its just a teenage phase, but will it ever end? Just like you to know you're not alone, xx
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