why do parents have no rights

Chrissy - posted on 07/30/2010

Maybe try talking to your local children and youth services.. They will intervene and help out as much as they can. I went through a very similar situation with my now sixteen year old daughter, and child services did in home counseling and also made her return home. She is now doing much better and is on the honer role in school. But during the bad times was lying telling people that we abused her and where doing drugs. She finally realized that the things she was saying did not just get her what she wanted but affected everyone else in our family also. Hope everything woks out for you.

Sonia - posted on 07/30/2010

I don't know what state you live in, but she is only 14. You can call it in as a runaway and when the cops find her they HAVE to return her to your home. Good Luck

MaryLou - posted on 07/30/2010

Here in Canada it is 16. I am pretty sure she can be prevented from moving in with her boyfriend and his family. Contact the police, explain the situation. They can tell you what you can or cannot do because of the law. Chances are you are probably going to have to go to court if she wants to live with the bf.

Barb - posted on 07/30/2010

Best advice i've heard my friend tell her teenage daughter. "I love you enough to let you hate me" Take some parenting classes that will let you know what your rights are. Call the police to get her out of the druggy boyfriends house and get her either in rehab/juvie or get her home. Go to your community center and police station to get help, Hell, GOOGLE IT! Send her to military school if you cannot set and keep the boundaries and limitations and teach her how to be a responsible citizen. Love her enough to let her hate you. She'll love you later for it.

Cher - posted on 07/29/2010

Well I have a teenager that is very much like this I read about. I have gotten him involved with activities like youth group and take away privileges. HE is very much understanding how hard life can be. Make a chore list give allowance and freedom if deserved. I am a believer that children walk on the parents to much these days. I hope this helps.

Maria - posted on 07/29/2010

what state do you live in that you can't force your 13 year old to come home or to even go to school. i'm in upstate ny and my now 17 yr tried that crap. i went to the police, they picked her up and brought her home..end of discussion. in ny state, parents are legally responsible for children until age 21.

it sounds like your daughter needs some good old fashioned discipline, and I'm not talking about a time out either. you and the rest of your family need to be on the same page and sit her down and TELL her how it's going to be and if she continues with this behavior she could be sent to a home for troubled kids.

i would suggest before having that talk with her, i would talk to an attorney who specializes in family law and see what your options are.

Good luck katrina

Sherri - posted on 07/29/2010

Okay she is 13, you are the adult. You dictate where she lives period. So if you are allowing her to do what she wants that is exactly what she is going to do. You need to get a reign on that girl even if it means you stay up at night to watch her and bring her to school everyday.

Megan - posted on 07/28/2010

She is a minor you the a mom - call the police and have anyone helping her arrested! Tough love has a time and a place but a 14yr has no concept of permanence and can not comprehend how her actions will affect her life forever. Get her home and take her around to group homes and homes for teen moms - show her why you are laying down the law and other than school she should not be out of your sight.
I say this as the mother of 4 and as someone who was a difficult teen. Kids want their parents to lay down the law.

Deb - posted on 07/28/2010

Hate to be the voice of reality, but, the kid didn't just suddenly start behaving like this over night. She behaves this way because you let her. The police HAVE to assist you. If she injures someone or property while she's under the age of 18, you are responsible, much in the way you are responsible for her well being until then.
What advice are you looking for, with your posting? You know what needs to be done, it's a matter of doing it. It's not easy and she's not going to like you, but, that's parenthood.

Bev - posted on 07/28/2010

I don't know where you are but in Texas you have tons of rights when it come to this. If she leaves your home without permission file her as a runaway. Most police mean well but do not know the law. If you are in the Dallas area I can give you more info....you DO have rights including school attendance - do you know you can be fined and go to jail if she is not complying with mandatory attendance? Make her come home and then work a plan but you must stick to it.

Zatonda - posted on 07/27/2010

I don't know what state you live in but In. Tn if your child acts up you can file a petion, and allow the court to take over. If parents can be punish because of a child behavior, Trust there is a law that do protect parent in certain situation, If my child miss school too much I can be change, but if I file a petion because the child continues to skip then the court take over and no longer blames the parent. The child now has to follow the rules the judge gives him. I wish you luck and would invest in a lawyer if your concerned about your rights.

Lucy - posted on 07/26/2010

I don't know if it varies from state to state but here you would need to go file a FINS petition with the court if you feel that you can no longer control your teen. This is Family In Need of Supervision. Then the court can order the family into a treatment program in which your teen will have to attend and you will get help with how to parent her. If she leaves home she can be picked up and returned or taken into an in-patient program if you already have a petition with the court.

Nickie - posted on 07/26/2010

Oh, one more thing. I'm sorry Deanna J but I think that is the worst advice I've ever heard anyone give. I would NEVER EVER willingly give up my child! If a child is misbehaving, then they are crying out for help, not asking to be GIVEN AWAY! It is not the authorities' responsibility to teach children a 'lesson' or to follow rules. That is the parents' responsibility! And I can say this with experience... I've gone through a teenage son who fell in with the wrong crowd and was arrested numerous times. I never ONCE considered giving up custody of him. I stuck by him and guided him and now he is 18 and hasn't been in trouble in over 3 years.

Nickie - posted on 07/26/2010

I just want to know why you say there is nothing you can do by law? 1) she is your child. Is this a case where you do not have legal custody of your child? 2) she is a MINOR! How is it possible for YOU to be charged if you force YOUR CHILD to stay home? I forced my 17 year old son to stay home by taking away his car keys (because he got a speeding ticket) and grounding him. I've never heard of a law that punishes a parent for disciplining or parenting their child. But I've never been to other countries either. Where do you live?

Deanna - posted on 07/26/2010

Report her to the police. She is still your responsibility until she becomes of age. IF the police do not do anything go to family services and sign papers to give up custody of her. They will deal with her then and FORCE her to listen and follow rules.

Christina - posted on 07/25/2010

my 14 year old goes just about the same thing, she's now learning that the consequences of lies aren't as "pretty" as the life she thought it was gonna be, I can't stand the separation from my little girl as she will always be to me, but my faith is what has carried me through. I, myself ran away from home at 14 and thought it would be an easier life, I did graduate thanks to the caring people that supported me throughout my highschool years. My folks wanted me home but I wouldn't go. They have been extremely helpful in raising my daughter, yet at times extremely overbearing. I sometimes wonder if it would be better to keep them out of the picture. Lies and manipulation seem to be a common of teens these days, and the law seems to believe every word they say. I'm experiencing some legal issues due to lies that stemmed from her being upset she may be grounded for disappearing all nite. I do not believe in physical discipline at all, and was accused of it. Now i have supervised contact with her after she recanted her story. I don't understand why the alleged charges weren't dropped and she could come back home where she belongs. I'm losing my home and other financially related things due to the benefits claimed for her by my folks who were granted temporary custody. This is a tough age for both the children and us parents, but where do we draw the line?

Katrina - posted on 07/25/2010

thanks for all the responses, just to let parents know, there is nothing u can do by law, even at her age. the police can pick her up and bring her home, but i can be chargerd if i force her to stay home, with holding her against her will. i cant make her go to school, cant make her come home, i have no rights. the do gooders out there have taken any rights from the parents.i cant charge anyone with taking her in and even if they apply for money from the government for her, and i refuse to sign anything, they can still get around it and get money for her.
i feel so sick with worry for her.
whats it going to be like for parents of teens in another ten or twenty years?? they will be running the parents.

Zatonda - posted on 07/23/2010

If she is 13 file a petion and get her butt home, before you end up in court. Hell naw she is freaken 13 she has No rights. I may can understand the sister but you are the parent, you are crazy as hell if you allow her to stay with her boyfriend, as soon as she walk in his house I would call the law, do what you have to do to get your daughter back, she is a baby and with hard work she can be saved, there is something wrong with this picture, as to why she was allowed to leave in the first place, seems as though your very angry at this child and she is running from you,of course she lies, but lets stop the blame game now and get this child under control. I agree 100% with Tyciana, call the authorities.

Angie - posted on 07/22/2010

Since she's 13, I'm guessing that you had to give her permission to live with her sister. Since she's been asked to move out of her sister's house, tell her that she must go home. Let her boyfriend's family know that if she decides to move into their home, you will be filling charges with the police for them having her without your permission - then follow through!

Anne Marie - posted on 07/22/2010

In Canada there are group homes they can go to, not the best but at least they have councellors and other workers that can help them through these time. I would go to the authorities but I have also found out that parents do not have rights in some situations. So I empathize with you alot. If she is going to a drug influenced family you can say no and have the authorities step in somehow I am sure because of her age. You can also try to emphasize to her that she has worn out her welcome at her sisters place, what is going to happen when she wears out her welcome at her boyfriends place or if they break up as that is a possiblity. If she still goes there against all odds and advice, I agree support her, let her know you don't like it but she is your daughter and you love her and will always be there for her. She never has to live on the street. Good luck and god bless you it is one tough situation that I would not want to be in but realize I may be in someday.

Casie - posted on 07/22/2010

My mom is probably not proud about the choices I made when i was 13 and 14, I'm now 29. I did almost the same thing, but i remember my mom being supportative no matter what i decided, also my parents showed me what tough love was, and I thank god and them to this day for that. After I had no where else to go, I was shut out, left to raise a baby on my own, and I did it. i dont know how sometimes but i did. Pray for the right thing to say when you do get the chance to talk to her, stay calm, and try to relate to her or tell her some horrible things you had to go through that may put some sense into her head. Call her out on her lies in a nconstructive way, or get her all confused about what shelied about and tell her, "You can not remember a lie, and the truth will set you free." I know it may seem old fashioned, but we all know its the truth. There is a camp called camp mary mount in fairview, tn., that has helped my son with self esteem issues among a countless list of other issues. Go to counseling with her. Try to see inside her, her heart, kids learn mostly by example, take her to do something good for someone else. I can only imagine having a teenage girl, but it dosen't seem that long ago I was one. I hope I've helped, god bless, and keep your head up.

Tyciana - posted on 07/22/2010

She's still very underage. You should be able to contact the authorities for help. I'm not 100% sure but I believe that anyone housing an underage minor without parental consent can go to jail.