Why is it that 17 and 18 year olds think we as parents, know NOTHING and they KNOW EVERYTHING?

[deleted account] ( 20 moms have responded )

My goodness, I'm so tired of the, I know nothing. My youngest son, has not clue to life's responsibilities. I just want to hit him in the head and knock some sense into him. No sense in how to pay for his obligations. I have already told him needed to do something to help himself, because, he isn't living here for the rest of his life. He can stress me out at times with his attitude. Any advise? Gerald knows I have PPMS and he does not need to be stressing me out the way he does and has this unappreciated attitude. He said he is that way because we have given to him. But, we really haven't. We are making him pay for everything. We only help out on when we can and really isn't much. I think he is using that as an excuse NOT to deal with his issues. Trying to make us feel bad. A reason for his behavior. Anyone else going through this rocky time?

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Diana - posted on 02/13/2013

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my daughter listens to what her friends say and not what she feels is right. she wants to die her hair because her friends do listen to music loud because her friends do.

Mechelle - posted on 01/13/2010

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Most definitely an "age" thing. Our daughter has been required to pay her own vehicle insurance and cell phone bill since she got her first job. However, since she was "paying her own bills" she felt she didn't have to follow house rules. Everytime we got into it over her breaking the rules and setting a bad example for her younger siblings, she threatened to move out. I finally got smart one day and told her "don't let the door hit you . . ." That was one of the hardest things I have ever said to my child, but she backed down and for the last year has been much better. She is now 19 and in her second year of college.

Ana - posted on 01/13/2010

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I agree with most of the mother above..it is an age thing, I do remember when I thought I knew everything and saying it over and over to my mother...It was only when I got married at 19 that I knew I did not know a single thing.. Kids will come into sense when they get their own responsabilities, just hang in there.

Molly - posted on 01/13/2010

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Your not alone my oldest is 16 and think he knows it all to and we are dealing with doctors who say hes not bipolar but is on bipolar medication? so hang in there and know your doing all you can as a mom!!

Deb - posted on 01/13/2010

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If they are so smart and we are so dumb, why are they still living at home? I've gone through this 3 times already, I feel like an intellectual yo-yo... I was pretty awesome for a long time and now it seems I am getting dumber by the second.. again.

It passes, thank god! Somewhere around that magical age of 21, parents start to get smarter again and then come the phone calls asking for advice and recipes and just to say Hi, when not so long ago they didn't want to hear anything you had to say and argued over everything you had to say.



It's just getting through it. The mark of a successful parent is not throttling them before they get the chance to move out and discover life is much different than the world they imagined it to be.

One thing I did discover with my three older kids is, children do listen to you, even if everything that comes out is dumb... it really comes in handy later when they need it.



Since we all live in the same house and want to be treated like adults, then we have to share the responsibilities too. It's not like they joyfully do dishes or laundry or sweep and tidy up, but if they want to watch TV, play Xbox, share a cell phone or do sports or just goof off, they have to earn it. Unless of course they want to get a job and start helping with expenses, that is the other option. They don't get allowances, but they do get paid for special jobs around the place... they have to earn their privileges. Sports, TV, X box, getting rides to extra curricular things, sleep overs, etc. are privileges NOT rights, they have none, other than food, shelter, clothing and an education and they get everything they need, even if it isn't always what they want.



Our policy is as long as they are in school they don't have to move out when they turn 18. If they don't go to college after high school and aren't ready to get their own place, then they need to get a job or do stuff to earn their keep and contribute to the family's well being. They are family, not guests... and after 3 days guest status wears off, so grab a broom and pitch in.

CLARISE - posted on 01/12/2010

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ummm they do know everything....they think. i always tell my two teenagers i hated getting advice from older know it all people and had attitude all the time with them now...and it got me know where. most of the advice if taken would of been good for me but sometimes they need to learn for themselves, i always tell my kids " nope i already made that mistake so you can be smart and learn from my mistake or you can waste your time." but for some things that are life changing, i STRONGLY use my mommy authority. and in the end we have the last word. i just let them believe they do, for a while, til i get tired of it or see a pattern that irritates me then i use the mommy authority again.

Dee - posted on 01/12/2010

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I know the feeling. I have a 16 year old who thinks that money just appears in his debit card account whenever he asks for it. He doesnt think about where it has to come from. I dont ask much of him around the house because he gives so much of his time to sports...working towards a scholarship...but when I do ask for a little help, he thinks I am asking him to move a mountain. He doesnt have a job so all of his money comes from me. He seems to think that he is "owed" everything because he is the child? We are slowly coming to an understanding about earning money and what it takes. He now has to "earn" the money that gets put into his account by doing something around the house or he doesnt have gas money! He doesnt like it, but then it doesnt matter to me if his truck sits in the yard for weeks at a time! Hang in there. They are still learning just like we did. (And I am still learning how to teach him!)

Louise - posted on 01/12/2010

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my son has just become a teenager and is quite smart but when he trys saying things like that i have a bit of fun with him by asking such questions like....... so how much money does it cost to run our home for a week? and love seeing the look on his face when he can't answer these sort of questions, we are all smart just in different ways :0)

Vivian - posted on 01/11/2010

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I think as teenagers we thought our parents didn't know anything either...they will grow out of it. My oldest (23) now knows that I wasn't as stupid as he thought I was, my two teenagers think I am not as bright as they are and my youngest (8) thinks I am the smartest person on the planet...so it is just a stage and it will pass.

Just remember to love them and be there for them!!!!

Samantha - posted on 01/07/2010

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Hi my 18 year old son is just like that, he thinks he rules the house wont lift a finger to help wont get a job because he doesnt want to work weekends he causes alot of friction in the household

Cathy - posted on 01/07/2010

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Just love her...always be there for her, embrace the man and the young child. It will keep you daughter close so you are better able to help her. If you push her to decide between you or the relationship...because she is young, she may just choose the relationship...which leaves you out in the cold.
Kids are going to make mistakes and bad choices...just be there to catch her when and if she falls...and you just never know! My parents met when they were the same ages as your daughter and were happily married till my Dad passed away...after 50 yrs of marriage and 5 kids!
Just my humble opinion. Good luck to you Audrey!

AUDREY - posted on 01/07/2010

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OK, I FEEL U ON THIS ONE!! MY 18 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER IS DATIN A 21 YEAR OLD, EXACTLY THE AGE I WAS WHEN I STARTED DATING HER DAD!! AND LIKE HER DAD HE HAS A 2 YR. OLD SON, SHE IS STILL A VIRGIN( I ASSUME) SO SHE SAYS!! LOL AND I CAN'T MAKE HER UNDERSTAND HE IS NOT GOIN BACK TO VIRGIN HOOD! BUT SHE INSISTS HE DOES NO WRONG.. HELP

Janet - posted on 01/06/2010

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It is a teenage thing! Boy or girl they both do the same "You know nothing" thing lol. I have been there, done that, and will be there again I am sure lol. I have two older children (28 and 27) a 18 year old, a 15 year old and a 9 year old. So no doubt I will be having this particular conversation for quite a few years to come and believe me it never changes. My eldest two children have both said to me recently, I always thought you didnt know anything Mum cos you are older than me, but I realise that you were right all along. It is so nice to hear your child say that, not for being right all along, but the fact that my children eventually realise that all I have done for all of them is my best and I couldnt possibly do any more. The younger ones still think I know nothing and that everything is always my fault but eh thats life lol.

April - posted on 01/05/2010

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Rofl and no its not funny but every mom with teenagers goes thru this. I don't have any answers for you except pray for them. My 21 yr old son still hasnt figured it out. Tough love had to be handed out and I sent him packing at 19. He's moved from pillar to post and back again. But he knows he must make it on his own. As much as I love him I refuse to carry him anymore. Stay strong and stick to your rules and principals.

Cathy - posted on 01/05/2010

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I didnt realize my parents knew anything till i was an adult...in other words...age old problem...good news is...we grow out of it! my son is 19 and he is beginning to realize maybe Im not the idiot he saw me as! It was a rocky road and still has its moments...but Angela you are not alone, nor is he unique...its being a teenager! It will pass..

Jennifer - posted on 01/05/2010

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in my opinion, I fine most young adult's under stands this 2010 we live in more then there parents and most parent's remember there childhood but don't understand these new ways of living. so for me to say I think a 17 year is smarter then a their parents is not untrue. I think you should share opinions with your child prehapes you will fine that young freash ideas might help you.

April - posted on 01/05/2010

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Oh I sooooo know how you feel! We have a 17 year old who expects money continually. The only thing I can say is STICK TO YOUR GUNS as hard as that is. I feel your pain though Angela...teenagers are so exhausting! I am tired all of the time. Luckily we do have one who is amazing. She makes things so much easier.

Rochelle - posted on 01/05/2010

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Yes I am!!! It is so funny that one minute I am getting hugs and loves and the next he is telling me how to be a better parent! Damn where was he when I was just getting started as a parent and needed advice??? LOL

Dianne - posted on 01/04/2010

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I raised my boys in a small town. The oldest(19) told me that he would go to college under duress and if he failed his classes, it was all my fault. Needless to say, we decided he could pay for his classes himself. He got a state grant to take a CNA class and darned if he isn't a happy guy. He moved in with my aunt in a very big city and is getting up at 5am to get to classes and clinicals. Wouldn't believe it if you had told me this 4 months ago.

Janet - posted on 01/04/2010

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Hang in there Mom. I have a couple of daughters who thought they knew everything when they were teens. I found a sign and hung it one each one of their door. It said

' Teens since you know so much more than anyone else, then get a job and get out. If you cant do this then show some respect." I promise later in life you will get smarter as your teen gets older, I have.

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