Why is it that some parents of High School kids feel that it is cool to allow teenage drinking in their homes or provide it for the kids to take else where?

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[deleted account]

I wonder the same thing! Any time a parent does something like this, a kid thinks "If a parent offered it to me, it must be OK." Because kids trust their friend's parents. Often times there are close relationships there.



My thought is that while we all raise our children a little differently, we should expect that another person would not do something illegal with my child, like contributing to the dilinquency of a minor, which is what was happening when they offered your child an alcoholic drink. If it's happened there has been a huge breach of trust and I can't trust my teen in their supervision anymore.



I don't know why some parents want to be buddies with their kids instead of their parents. I am the best friend my child will ever have because I will hold him accountable and love him enough to tell him the truth and discipline him when he deliberately chooses to disobey. He may not think I am his friend because he really wishes he could do what he wants, when he wants, but his perspective is out of focus. I don't care if he likes me all the time. I do care enought to provide appropriate limits and guidelines and enforce them. And most of the time he likes me just fine and that's great. But he doesn't like me this week (no computer or phones for lying and other deceptive behaviors) and that's all right with me. It'll pass! :)

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Mary - posted on 04/14/2009

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If you really want to catch them, then get it on camera somehow.

This probably isn't easy. It's the same here in the South but its not called "Old Money"

its called "The Good Ol Boy Network".

I'm surprised your reports didn't get met with death threats or similar.

These kind don't like being told they did something wrong.

But be told and EXPOSED that they do wrong is always an option.

It just depends on how willing you are to get involved.

You might save lives if you make a change here!!



Best of luck.

Its a sad world, ain't it??

Tam - posted on 04/14/2009

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It's things like this that really make me sad as a parent.

It's like this girl we know who at age 12 her mother decided she was going to have sex anyway, so she allowed the girl to have boys spend the night whenever she wanted them to. That poor girl did not learn the value of a relationship and ended up pregnant by age 13 even though her mother provided condoms and I believe the pill. But worse, she has a reputation among the boys who will use this poor girl for their own ends and not give her any respect or love. And now this girl is child-mother to her own baby and I fear the cycle will be repeated. My heart and prayers go out to that young girl.

Melinda - posted on 04/04/2009

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The idea that parents are afraid to be liked is a morifying as providing teens with acohol and drugs. We should all be adults and conduct ourselves as such at all times. And yeas society is to blame because of the "adults" that want to live or should I say relive there High School years through there kids are the ones that are the problem. They need to realize they are not 16 any more and just grow up. Yes, GROW UP!!!!

Melinda - posted on 04/04/2009

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I have turned them in. They are untouchable because of "the old money" , they own the town.

Melinda - posted on 04/04/2009

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What they do with their kid is their own business. But what they do with everyone else's children is breaking the law.

Carolee - posted on 04/03/2009

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 hello melinda ! my name is carolee . i came from a home where all kinds of silly things were allowed . parents are afraid of not being liked !  they are the same parents who think "they are just going to do it any way "!  these parents are so worried that their kids wont love them or think they are cool . some times it is because the parents feel guilty for their own bad behavior misery loves company. 

[deleted account]

I have an 18  year old and there is no way on God's green earth that I would do that.... for many reasons.....!

Shelly - posted on 04/03/2009

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Melinda,



  If you know which parens are doing them you turn them into the police department.  I'm guessing from the post your child has been involved with the teen drinking partys???   Not saying that they have been drinking but have beenthere at the time of the drinking!!!  I would make the local police department awareof what is going on b/c alot of communities are cracking down on underage drinking...Good luck  

Samantha - posted on 04/02/2009

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I don't agree with buyn kids alcolhol - i hav 1 teenager 17 - 1 young adult 20.  Lucky i hav never had another parent buy my girls a drink.  If my girls wanted a drink they knew to com to us-  their parent.  Kids today drink themselves silly - society is to blame as times have changed and life is much faster. Some parents just hav no morals, they think there cool i guess. We instilled into our girls heads not to except anything like that from anybody. It's very important to pump this information  into your kids heads from a early age whether it be drink or drugs, their both destroyers.. I would giv the parents a visit and let them know that you ever do that again and i'll report you.  Simple as that.

Dianne - posted on 04/02/2009

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Well I ask the same question Melinda,,,,,,Last Saturday my 14 yr old daughter went to a party a couple of doors away,,,,,,7 til 11pm. When she arrived home I was mortified to smell alcohol on her breath. I went mad. On asking the mother of the lad who's party it was,,,,,I found out that she had made a bowl of alcoholic punch for them to drink!! I let it be known that I wasn't very pleased at all,,,,and was told "Well they have to start sometime. I think it is disgusting. When the time comes ie when my daughter is older I want all of these things in life such as having a social drink to be special.

Kristine - posted on 04/02/2009

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Maybe they feel that if their children drink around them then they have more control over the situation.  I know that I would feel better if my kid was at home with me...other than at a party passed out drunk.  Or getting into a car with someone who is to drunk to drive.



Everyone is going to raise their kids different.  If you give them the knowledge before they make the choices hopefully they are strong enough to make the right ones.  Some parents are scared to have these talks with their kids.  The schools are now doing it and I don't think that is right.  Sit your kids down.  How are they suppose to make the right decisions if they don't know their options.

Melinda - posted on 04/02/2009

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I wish that it were older siblings or even the kids getting it themselves but I know first hand it is not. I live in a small town and the parents that are providing and allowing the drinking in there home is what I call "old money" in this town. They basically own the town so they are never looked at or considered as being the source of the teenage drinking.

[deleted account]

I had this conversation with a friend of mine recently.  The mother of one of my sons friends gave them all a large bottle of vodka drink - each!  No she didn't ask my permission and I was livid.  We don't have drink in this house as neither myself nor my husband drink.  I am not naive and know that my son will try alcohol but to be given a large bottle of spirits by an adult is just plain irresponsible.  I wouldn't dream of giving alcohol to my childrens friends.

Pati - posted on 04/01/2009

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I wonder the same thing. But often I think it is the older siblings that are providing it and the parents are away. At least that is what Id like to think.   I understand the idea of having them drink at home rather than be out somewhere else, but to provide it is going over board. these parents they are asking for trouble trying to be cool and hip, maybe they dont realize that one bad result could cost them not only the house and the bank account, but a life, a child that was a friend of their childs life...

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