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Worried mom of college freshman, My girl wants to come home.

Annie - posted on 09/10/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I knew that my daughter's decision to go into NYC was not what she thought it would be. Isn't it ok for us moms to admit that we can see our childrens limitations? I feel so pressured by others because according to society, you are suppose to tell them the world is there oyster. Yes, I understand it is, but I'm also realistic.
I also feel we put too much pressure on them to go out and solve world peace, hunger and major diseases. Can't we just get real and for once notice that there is strength, security and good ole family togetherness out there? Ya know the kind that define's who you are? where your from? Like a small town. When did it become 'in style' to be seen out on the town drunk, underage, and with a group of other teens? Oh I forgot,,, most of these kids are just gathering 'coolness' for there next facebook post. Just so they can have some kind of a social status. Hummmm... In the end when these kids who have been told all of there lives that they will become rocket scientists, superstars or the next Steven Hawkins --- really don't live up....??? who pays then??? THEY DO??? feeling like failures... Did we really do them justice??
I remember a time when my aunts, uncles and grandparents all stuck together. Parties, dinners celebrations all shared. When did it become chic to become these independent famlies?? Dad, mom and the kids. Relying on paid help to pitch in??
I'm sorry.. My girl somehow got it in her head (prob from peer pressure) to study in a big city then realized it wasn't for her. That's enough decision for me but I guess I'm not strong enough to stand by what I believe, what my heart is telling me,,,, because I find myself sitting here on my sofa reaching out to my fellow mom's. My ex-husband, college councelors and co-workers, therapist, keep drumming it into my head that this feeling she is having is just 'home sickness'? Why do we have to undermine her feelings, can't we just listen?????

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3 Comments

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Annie - posted on 09/11/2011

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I needed to hear that, thank you for helping me put in prospective.

Wendy - posted on 09/11/2011

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I may be a big softy but you need to find out what it is that is making her want to come home, Maybe you have and know why trust yourself you know if she needs to come home or not. There are some reasons i would not make her stick it out for the year. But make sure she is coming home with a plan for herself Eg; Job, Educatation, Even as adults we make wrong decisions and need to backtrack a bit to collect our footing..........Talk it out with her and come up with the answer together....This is a big decision and she should weigh out all her pros and cons......Good luck.....Ps notice i said she should She is a adult and will have to start making the decisions sometime, Trust her

JuLeah - posted on 09/10/2011

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If, at the end of the year, she still wants to come home then let her.

Let her leave now and you set up a pattren of quitting

She wants to live a big life, most do. That means it is okay to be frightened, okay to be sad, homesick, confused ... but that can't stop her from doing what she wants to or needs to do

Being a parent means we sometimes don't make things easy for them, we let them struggle, we let them fall .... you have done this all of her life. She walks? As she was learning, she fell, she cried ... but you didn't pick her up and carry her everywhere. She learned to ride a bike, swim... now she is learning these lessons ... trust her - make sure she knows you know she is strong enough for this even if she doubts herself, you believe in her even if she can't right now

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