Would you put your teenage daughter

Katia - posted on 02/04/2009

I would not pump my non-sexually active daughter full of hormones as a preventative measure. Our bodies are being bombarded with chemicals and hormones in our food supply, water, meds, vaccines, etc. There are multiple long term side affects that should be seriously considered. There are other options for mood swings, cramps, acne and PMS- like acupuncture, herbs and diet. I am all about open communication, education and manifestation. I understand that a mother and daughter can have a super close relationship and the daughter may still not feel comfy telling her mother when she is feeling ready for sex. I think its important that our daughters have other adults in there life that they trust and feel close to and can talk to. Bring your sisters, mothers and friends into the circle. And when she begins to run her sexual energy, if you are not already tuned into this, hopefully she will reach out to you or someone in her community for guidance and perhaps you can explore all the options, hormonal and non-hormonal that would suite her more appropriately for this new chapter in her life. 

Nancy - posted on 02/04/2009

Kathleen - I appreciate your views and am glad you're teaching your daughters the value of purity. I think most parents would like to choose abstinence for our teens and advise them that it is the best choice. But parents need to be realistic, and sex is very much a part of teen culture. I was brought up in a strong Christian family and was in church every time the doors were open. Anyone who wanted to date me had to be willing to come to church with my family, if he wasn't already involved in his own church. I considered myself to be a Christian teen, but I still had sex with my boyfriend at age 16. I believe premarital sex is a sin - just like lying or cheating is a sin, and who among us has never told a lie? We are all imperfect and do things we shouldn't. My first goal is to keep my daughter sexually pure; my secondary goal is to help her with damage control if she doesn't follow my advice and guidance. I'm also aware that not everyone shares my beliefs, but even parents who don't take the Biblical view of sex outside of marriage are usually in agreement that teen sex is not emotionally, mentally or physically healthy. But teen sex DOES happen and it only takes once to change the path of a life forever.

Angela - posted on 02/03/2009

Well I have a 14 year old daughter myself who is on birth control and here are my reasons why........At the end of last summer she came to me one night and said "hey mom can we talk later" now this coming from her surprised me and then scared me after I thought about what she might want to talk about.......was I too late was she going to tell me that she was already Pregnant???OK for all of you who are now holding your breath you can stop.....she wasn't, but what she did express to me was that she wanted to be put on it so this is how I handled it. I asked her if she could tell me why and she did, she told me that it was only her and one of her other friends in their circle that were still virgins and that she was definately feeling some pressure to "GET IT OVER WITH" well I was o corse saddened by this I mean what has this experience come to now a days.....so we had a talk that night for about 5 hours I covered every basis I though I could and had some advice that some mothers can't supply as I was a teen mother 19 but it was still hard on me for some things. We came to the agreement that yes she was going to be put on BC but that this in no way meant I condoned her having sex at such a young age, but that I would not be Niave about it either.......I had a girl who strarted being a mothers helper for my younger children at the age of 15 well she had already lost her virginity at that point and we became very close so she would talk to me about things she didn't feel comfortable talking to her mom about so I also got the insight of someone this age as well. She would tell me some horror stories about how kids would have sex parties while school was going on that they would all skip and go to one persons house where not orgies were happening but that in different rooms of the houses there were young couples having sex, she also shared with me for those kids that didn't dare to do this or couldn't get off the school property that they would take turns using the spaces under the stair wells in the SCHOOLS themselves ,as well as locker rooms and bath rooms with look outs. As parents we want to protect them from these mistakes because lets admit it I'm sure we have all had our mistakes along this line but we also have to realize that we can't and won't be with them every waking moment and if they are going to have sex at this age they will no matter how strict you think you are or how connected to them you feel you are they just will . So after discussing almost everything and anything I could think of telling her (I have been super open with all of my kids from a very young age propper words and what sex is why people have it just alot more open than I find most parents are these days) I said yes I will put you on this but can we make some kinda rules about this she was kinda open to it but hey I'm not stupid either and I know half the time she proabably just agreed because I had been talking her ears off for the past 5 hours....lol. Anyway I asked her to always let me know when she has a BF whether she thinks I'll aprove or not , that they be together at least 6 months before she even STARTS to CONSIDER sex or even foreplay, oh and just so those of you know if you don't already oral sex is not considered SEX at all in the teen world??? that if she is still with him after 8 months and feels really strongly about it than hey come talk to me or another trusted adult first just so we can make sure you're seeing the whole picture cause chances are that they are in what they consider LOVE and are not seeing the whole picture, I am thinking in this time that the parents should be getting a pretty good idea by now what kinda guy this kid is and that will help too. That after all that we can decide from there I believe that children should not be having sex they are way to young to even know what they're doing in my opinion but like I said earlier we can't lock them up and be there all the time and if its going to happen than hell yes I want my Daughter to be protected!! I also allow her to keep condoms with her at all times as well and told her that if he ever tries to not use one that you are to get up and walk out the door call me and no questions asked I will be there to get you!!! I am by no means an expert in this area but I do pride myself in the simple fact that my daughter felt she could even come talk to me about it so I have to be doing something right. So Parents be educated and educate your children, don't think they won't do it becasue you said not to they will one way or another think back to your first time and tell me what your parents would have said and what you did. DON'T BE NIAVE!!! HELP THEM TO BE RESPOSIBILE ABOUT THIS!!!!

Kathleen - posted on 02/03/2009

I attempted to read a little bit of everyone's response and unless I accidently looked over it I'm almost mortified that no one promoted ABSTINENCE.  I realize that no one wants to or cares to discuss the word of God but I feel it more important to be discussing the repercussions of SEXUAL IMMORALITY. Our bodies are a temple that, if a born again Christian, is to be occupied by the Holy Spirit which can't happen if we are impure.  Sex before marriage is fornication and that is not pleasing in God's eyes.  Now I know what the community ahead me is thinking and yes I was once a fornicator however I was never brought into the knowledge of God but since I have been (and I have 6 teenagers two of which are 16yr old twin girls) I have been expressing the importance of purity and respecting there bodies and not allowing it to become convenient for a man to use as he pleases.  I pray abstinence for your daughter.

Annette - posted on 02/03/2009

hi i am a mum of 2 girls as you no thy r both on the pill my oldst is now taking hers ov her own acord and the other is on her 7 day break i my self  am on the pill after i had my youngest son now 7 i started having the pill injection which stopped my periods all together for a while then all of a sudden i started  with break through bleeding and my periods got heavier and the cramps got  worse  iv now been back on the pill for about  4 year and every thing is fine im now taking a bc pill called cilest and i cant fault it at all i am with a long term partner so no need for condoms but when it comes to my girls even though they are on the pill i still will be advising them to use condoms wen they do become sexualy active

Annette - posted on 02/03/2009

hi i am a mum of 2 girls as you no thy r both on the pill my oldst is now taking hers ov her own acord and the other is on her 7 day break i my self  am on the pill after i had my youngest son now 7 i started having the pill injection which stopped my periods all together for a while then all of a sudden i started  with break through bleeding and my periods got heavier and the cramps got  worse  iv now been back on the pill for about  4 year and every thing is fine im now taking a bc pill called cilest and i cant fault it at all i am with a long term partner so no need for condoms but when it comes to my girls even though they are on the pill i still will be advising them to use condoms wen they do become sexualy active

Annette - posted on 02/03/2009

hi i am a mum of 2 girls as you no thy r both on the pill my oldst is now taking hers ov her own acord and the other is on her 7 day break i my self  am on the pill after i had my youngest son now 7 i started having the pill injection which stopped my periods all together for a while then all of a sudden i started  with break through bleeding and my periods got heavier and the cramps got  worse  iv now been back on the pill for about  4 year and every thing is fine im now taking a bc pill called cilest and i cant fault it at all i am with a long term partner so no need for condoms but when it comes to my girls even though they are on the pill i still will be advising them to use condoms wen they do become sexualy active

Cindy - posted on 02/03/2009

I would do it!! I had my kids young and I would says yes just so u r at ease

Nancy - posted on 02/02/2009

Oh, and yes she's had the HPV vaccine and we do talk (well, I talk, she rolls her eyes) about STDs.

Nancy - posted on 02/02/2009

Keisha, thanks for starting this, I just read the whole thing. My daughter is 17 and started the pill when she was 12 for painful & long periods. She got a bf at 15, dated him 2 years, was never sexually active but it was comforting to know that, if they did have sex, at least one of the potential problems should be avoided. I know that in my own teen years, the first time I had sex was a total surprise to both me and to my bf (who is now my husband)...we thought we could stop any time but we didn't! I have always talked to my daughter a lot about subjects like sex, drugs, drinking, smoking...she hates the conversations but I often discover later that she's really listening and even uses my words & phrases when talking to her bf or friends about the same subjects.



At the same time...while we have tried to bring out daughter up as a Christian and teach her good morals and educate her on these topics, we know that at times she sneaks around & lies to us & makes mistakes. We can guide and influence her, but ultimately she is the one who chooses her own behaviors and morals. She's dating a different boy now and while we like him and enjoy having him around, we know that he is influencing her in ways that don't agree with our beliefs or wishes for our daughter.



Our daughter will be leaving for college in 6 months. She needs to be making her own choices and learning from her own mistakes, but I will do whatever I can to be sure that one of those mistakes is not a baby. Almost every other decision you make can be reversed, but once you're a parent you're a parent forever (whether of a baby you gave up, or a baby you aborted, or a baby you're raising).

Kathryn - posted on 02/02/2009

I just went to the dr. with this question and she was very adament about drilling the possiblility of a STD into my daughter's brain harder than the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy.  My daughter is 14 and I was scared to learn that i had no say in what would happen if she became pregnangt.  It frustrates me because I know i'll be the first one blamed by all the school and medical personnel if she should get pregnant though.  Teenagers are hard to deal with!

Keisha - posted on 02/02/2009

I talk to my daughter about sex, std's birth control... we have brochures from planned parenthood about std's and how they are transmitted and prevented, I tell her everything I know about sex and how she's worth the wait.. I also tell her that when she's ready she should come and talk  to me so we can get her on birth control and condoms. I also told her that the boy should be tested for std's as well.. and just because hes negative one day doesnt mean he wont cheat and catch something so he should still wear condoms.

I think its sad that that 15 year old cant go to her parent and talk to her about the pregnancy situation.. and what makes me sadder is the fact that she can have an abortion without her parent even  knowing. This world is so crazy, we have no rights as parents seems like. Everything is left up to the child. The parents should be there helping and guiding their teen towards the right decision...

Keisha - posted on 02/02/2009

I talk to my daughter about sex, std's birth control... we have brochures from planned parenthood about std's and how they are transmitted and prevented, I tell her everything I know about sex and how she's worth the wait.. I also tell her that when she's ready she should come and talk  to me so we can get her on birth control and condoms. I also told her that the boy should be tested for std's as well.. and just because hes negative one day doesnt mean he wont cheat and catch something so he should still wear condoms.

I think its sad that that 15 year old cant go to her parent and talk to her about the pregnancy situation.. and what makes me sadder is the fact that she can have an abortion without her parent even  knowing. This world is so crazy, we have no rights as parents seems like. Everything is left up to the child. The parents should be there helping and guiding their teen towards the right decision...

Keisha - posted on 02/02/2009

I talk to my daughter about sex, std's birth control... we have brochures from planned parenthood about std's and how they are transmitted and prevented, I tell her everything I know about sex and how she's worth the wait.. I also tell her that when she's ready she should come and talk  to me so we can get her on birth control and condoms. I also told her that the boy should be tested for std's as well.. and just because hes negative one day doesnt mean he wont cheat and catch something so he should still wear condoms.

I think its sad that that 15 year old cant go to her parent and talk to her about the pregnancy situation.. and what makes me sadder is the fact that she can have an abortion without her parent even  knowing. This world is so crazy, we have no rights as parents seems like. Everything is left up to the child. The parents should be there helping and guiding their teen towards the right decision...

Keisha - posted on 02/02/2009

I talk to my daughter about sex, std's birth control... we have brochures from planned parenthood about std's and how they are transmitted and prevented, I tell her everything I know about sex and how she's worth the wait.. I also tell her that when she's ready she should come and talk  to me so we can get her on birth control and condoms. I also told her that the boy should be tested for std's as well.. and just because hes negative one day doesnt mean he wont cheat and catch something so he should still wear condoms.

I think its sad that that 15 year old cant go to her parent and talk to her about the pregnancy situation.. and what makes me sadder is the fact that she can have an abortion without her parent even  knowing. This world is so crazy, we have no rights as parents seems like. Everything is left up to the child. The parents should be there helping and guiding their teen towards the right decision...

Keisha - posted on 02/02/2009

I talk to my daughter about sex, std's birth control... we have brochures from planned parenthood about std's and how they are transmitted and prevented, I tell her everything I know about sex and how she's worth the wait.. I also tell her that when she's ready she should come and talk  to me so we can get her on birth control and condoms. I also told her that the boy should be tested for std's as well.. and just because hes negative one day doesnt mean he wont cheat and catch something so he should still wear condoms.

I think its sad that that 15 year old cant go to her parent and talk to her about the pregnancy situation.. and what makes me sadder is the fact that she can have an abortion without her parent even  knowing. This world is so crazy, we have no rights as parents seems like. Everything is left up to the child. The parents should be there helping and guiding their teen towards the right decision...

Keisha - posted on 02/02/2009

I talk to my daughter about sex, std's birth control... we have brochures from planned parenthood about std's and how they are transmitted and prevented, I tell her everything I know about sex and how she's worth the wait.. I also tell her that when she's ready she should come and talk  to me so we can get her on birth control and condoms. I also told her that the boy should be tested for std's as well.. and just because hes negative one day doesnt mean he wont cheat and catch something so he should still wear condoms.

I think its sad that that 15 year old cant go to her parent and talk to her about the pregnancy situation.. and what makes me sadder is the fact that she can have an abortion without her parent even  knowing. This world is so crazy, we have no rights as parents seems like. Everything is left up to the child. The parents should be there helping and guiding their teen towards the right decision...

Kathi - posted on 02/02/2009

My daughter’s best friend from elementary school just found out she is pregnant this past week and my daughter is horrified, especially since her friend is planning to not tell her parents and is considering an abortion.  Her friend is 15 and the baby’s father is 14.

Sooo I sat my daughter (15) and my son (14) down this weekend and talked to them yet again about sex, STDs, teen pregnancy and birth control.  I explained that abstinence is the only birth control that is 100% effective, and that they should consider rather or not they are mature enough to handle the job of raising a baby. If the answer is no, then they were not mature enough to be having sex.

 This was the first time I had talked with them together so they were a little uncomfortable. I also purchased a box of condoms and instructed them both on how to properly use one from storage clear up to disposal.  Both kids were grateful for the chance to ask questions and my daughter and I discussed the fact that if she were ever in a relationship where she thought it may escalate to the two of them having sex she could come to me and we would make an appointment for her to have a pap and start taking the pill.

She was not too thrilled about the idea of a gynecological exam, but hey it’s all part of being sexually active.

Julie - posted on 02/02/2009

YES!!!

Nicci - posted on 02/01/2009

KEISHA,

I HAVE A 12 YEAR OLD WHO LOOKS 16....THE DAY AFTER SHE STARTED MIDDLE SCHOOL I PUT HER ON THE PILL. THE SHOT IS RISKY AND THEY GAIN ALOT OF WEIGHT, BUT EVEN IF SHES NOT ACTIVE YOU'LL HAVE THE PIECE OF MIND...IF SHES FORGETFUL IT WILL TEACH HER RESPONSIBILITY..YOUR DAUGHTER MAY BE SMART, AND YOU MAY BE CLOSE BUT ALL KIDS LIE AND SHE WONT ALWAYS BE ON YOUR RADAR..YOU WILL SLEEP BETTER KNOWING SHES PROTECTED..REMEMBER BEING YOUNG? HORMONES OVER RULE BRAIN CELLS.GOOD LUCK

Keisha - posted on 02/01/2009

Joan, I was thinking about the shot because she is very very forgetful, she doesnt remember to take her singular which is asthma medicine. I will call planned parenthood and we will discuss things and go from there

Keisha - posted on 02/01/2009

Joan, I was thinking about the shot because she is very very forgetful, she doesnt remember to take her singular which is asthma medicine. I will call planned parenthood and we will discuss things and go from there

Keisha - posted on 02/01/2009

Joan, I was thinking about the shot because she is very very forgetful, she doesnt remember to take her singular which is asthma medicine. I will call planned parenthood and we will discuss things and go from there

Joann - posted on 02/01/2009

I put my teenage girl on the pill to help with her mood swings at the time she was 13, she would forget to take them.I had to be to work early so her and her brother had to get themselves up and out the door. She would forget to take them in the morning so I had her take them at supper time when I was home. After a couple of years a put her on the shot--easier for both of us and especially her.. no periods at all. She's almost 20 now and she tells me that she is glad I put her on the pill/shot when she was younger. We talked alot about sex and body changes and peer pressure with our kids, our boy knows more about the female body than most 15 year olds, having three older sister's, and the oldest getting pregnant her senior year, he also knows the consequences, that even if the girl is on the pill a condom should also be worn.

Sarah - posted on 02/01/2009

If you know your daughter well enough to know if she's having sex.....even if you think there is the slightest chance.... then Do it!  I am lucky to have a daughter who tells me.  I had her when I was 1 month into my 16th birthday.  

Ella - posted on 01/31/2009

Yes if it is possible to put her on the pill do, but my daughters periods where all over the place and she had had problems with them we tryed the pill but it made it worse so the doctor referred her to hospital but the list was long.... she did have sex as i now know and is now 14 and pregnant!

Crystal - posted on 01/30/2009

both of my girls are now in thier 20s  i did not put them on the pill   because  the pill won't keep them from getting a disease  and a condom won't keep them from getting pregnant   I tried my best to teach them safe sex.   that is using both the pill and condoms  if they were going to have sex,    one partner  { that guy should be willing to wait for them}     I sudjested  to them that they tell the boy that he would have to wait three months for the pill to work  and then they could tell if the boy really liked them or thier bodies

I took both girls to the doctor for pap smearsand stressed the importance of doing it yearly  That also helped get over the uncomfortable feelings,  both went on thier own to get the pills

both still practice "safe" sex to this day even though thier both on the pill

Michelle - posted on 01/30/2009

You are correct, I was wrong with the shot every 3 months. I also want to let you know that I have 3 girls, all of them are pill babies. I took it as directed, did not miss, did not use a condom.. unfortunately, the only times that I tried to protect myself from becoming pregnant using the pill, I became pregnant. After my third child, I did not take it again, she is 14 and I have not been pregnant again. However, my husband just took care of (hopefully) the possibility of any more surprises. God seemed to have other plans than mine 8D thankfully. Good luck with your decision. ~M~

Melody - posted on 01/30/2009

Birth control pills only help prevent pregnancy and do absolutley nothing for STDs. Pills are also medication and think seriouly about putiing any teen on any kind of medicaiton. I do know that there are lots of types of pills and they can help with cramps, acne, etc, but they can also increase other (cardiovascular) risks.

A frank open discussion about sex and love and respect of ones body will also help your daughter take sex more seriously and help her make good decisions.

Best wishes...

Mother of a 15 y/o and 13 y/o girls (also a nurse)

Sheila - posted on 01/30/2009

On another note, is anyone having their teen girl immunized with the HPV vaccine?

Yes, I am having all of my daughters immunized.  Even if my daughters manage to make it to marriage without having premarital sex, the chances that their partner will also be a virgin is pretty slim.  It's took much of a risk to take.

I have to comment here about the idea that moms who insist on abstinence from their teens have their heads in the sand.  As I mentioned in my previous post, my mom had me at 17 (she was married at 16), and I got pregnant with my first child at 18 out of wedlock.  I have gotten pregnant on the pill!  I have gotten pregnant after my husband had a vasectomy!  There are no foolproof methods of  contraception except abstinence. 

Teaching your kids from an abstinence-based mindset involves a lot more supervision in their early teen years because you have to protect your children from putting themselves in a situation where they might engage in sexual activity.  Yes, if they're really determined they will find a way.  As they get into their middle teens years they will be away from home in unspervised setting more often, but at this point they have had sex ed drilled into their heads repeatedly at school and, hopefully, at home.  Then you can speak intelligently to them about not putting themselves into situations that might get out of hand.  It's a gradual process, not a total hands-off ideology.

Sheila - posted on 01/30/2009

Quoting Tina:

If she is sexually active now, which it sounds like she is, it is her responsibility to put herself on birth control and take the precaution, not yours. It is your job to talk to her as to why she should not be sexually active.

Amen, Tina!  That's one of the most important things we've tried to teach our children: if you are 'grown up' enough to engage in sexual activity, then you are grown up enough to take responsibility for your actions and appropriate precautions.  Also to never engage in sexual activity unless you are mentally, emotionally, and financially prepared to deal with any unintended consequences, be it an STD or a child.  I am sure my kids get tired of hearing me remind them that as they get older, they have to begin assuming responsibility for their own values and morality.  Their father and I will not be there to help them make all of the decisions they will face as they get older, and not just about sex: drugs, alcohol, etc, too.  They need to make a conscious decision about the kind of values they hold, and why, and understand that if they believe their values are worth holding, they are worth living by, too.  If they choose to reject the values we've raised them by and exchange them for a different set, that's something they need to take responsibility for, as well.  We raised our son this way, as well.

Sometimes the toughest part of parenting is letting go and allowing them to make these kinds of decisions for themselves.  And birth control pills as a medical treatment for difficult periods doesn't really count - that's a different category than taking your daughter to get BC pills because you think she's going to be sexually active.

Keisha - posted on 01/30/2009

shelly, thank you so much..

My daughter has had her first vaccine for HPV.. that is one of the three series. I was torn with if I should get it or not but I said if my daughter ended up with some form of cancer that  the HPV vaccine could have prevented, I would never forgive myself...

Shelly - posted on 01/30/2009

Kiesha,

  I'm with you on Tina's post...you are responsible for your daughter till she's 18 and if you are not right there and allow her to make the important  desitions on her own what kind of mother does that???   OOOh mine and guess what 4 out of five of us girls were teen mothers....Stick to your plan, research research research don't  give up it will all work out in the end.  Still in my prayers   Shelly

Erica - posted on 01/30/2009

Quoting Michelle:

I know my daughter won't get aids, stds or pregnant while on the pill...she is a virgin! I also know that she doesn't have to suffer needlessly every month because Yaz helps her with those issues. But in case she has a lapse in judgment will be pill help at all? Yes! I am also a Christian but I guess my horse just isn't as high as some of you. Good luck Keisha with your decision...it is an important one!

I'm with ya, Michelle!

Erica - posted on 01/30/2009

Quoting Michelle:

Personally I don't think it's anyone's place to put a teen on prescribed meds, in case. In case what? People don't have sex by accident. Parents have a responsibility to teach their children what may happen if they have sex and what needs to be done to not only prevent pregnancy, but also stds. Then they need to trust and believe that their child is equipped to do the right thing if/when that time comes, by talkin to their parent or another adult for b/c. Bottom line the child needs to have self respect for their own body, health and well-being.

Yeah, personally, that did NOT work for my parents! My Mom had the same philosophy and I got pregnant when I was 18. Granted that isn't THAT young but I was in the prime of my modeling career and it was definitely affected by being pregnant. People don't have sex by accident? Well, girls are raped. Also, teens don't have the ability to THINK at their full potential yet. "Bottom line the child needs to have self respect for their own body, health and well-being."-In a perfect world that would be the case.....How can you expect a CHILD to have the qualities that an adult struggles with?

Erica - posted on 01/30/2009

Char, my daughter is going to be 14 and has a sparatic cycle and bad cramps. She just got out of a close relationship (8 months) and was open with me about kissing and I told her the same thing! Too early for sex but PLEASE come to me when you feel like it is time! She agreed. I went as far as to say, If you feel like you're in a situation where you might, if you don't have protection, DON'T! We will plan safely and responsibly both with protection and emotions as best as we can. I know that might be a bit unrealistic but "better safe than sorry" is my motto! I got pregnant with her when I was 18. She said she isn't ready but would come to me. I've offered her the pill and recently she finally agreed that it would help her. She hasn't agreed in the past because she is scared of the exam. I think I can just take her to Planned Parenthood.


On another note, is anyone having their teen girl immunized with the HPV vaccine?

Bonnie - posted on 01/30/2009

I was a mom for the first time at 17years old. I am now the mother of three boys. If any of them had been a girl, you bet I would have them on birth control. This is not to say there wouldn't be alot of discussion about the dangers of casual or unprotected sex, as there has been with my boys. I know how easily things can happen. I wouldn't change my situation but I would have liked to have had a chance for the fun things about being a teen before being a mom. Your doctor can recomend the safest method for your daughter, I think you should check it out.

Annette - posted on 01/30/2009

hi y daughtere r now on the pill the oldest is on her forth month and the other is nearly finished her first month on the pill my 15 year takes hers every day with out fail my 16 year old has refused to take hers now so i am going to see i i can get an appointment to get the implant as i dont think she is doing any thing but as a mum i am worried she is coz i wouldlove for her to have a life no be sat at home with a baby so un till i can get an appointment i will not be letting her meet her boyfriend which i have been told is sexualy active un till i no there is a precaution in place as a lot of boys refuseto use condoms

Kim - posted on 01/30/2009

Teenage pregnancy is very scary. You are doing the right thing. You make sure that she takes her pills everyday. I hope that you instill in her that she is not ready for a child and needs to have fun and enjoy her teenage years. It is no fun being strapped down as a teenager with a baby. It is very difficult and stressful. Encourage her to stay in school or take tech ed. classes and keep busy. Tell her that kids come wayyyyyy later, not now.

Keisha - posted on 01/29/2009

Tina read my messages.. she is not sexually active. she doesnt have a boyfriend.  Are you serious? Let her choices determine her consquences? that would make me a bad mother. My job is to guide her in the right direction!! Not say do whatever,you'll learn.. Sometimes they have to learn the hard way but we as parents have to try tell them the right things to do...

Keisha - posted on 01/29/2009

Tina read my messages.. she is not sexually active. she doesnt have a boyfriend.  Are you serious? Let her choices determine her consquences? that would make me a bad mother. My job is to guide her in the right direction!! Not say do whatever,you'll learn.. Sometimes they have to learn the hard way but we as parents have to try tell them the right things to do...

Tina - posted on 01/29/2009

I would not. If she is sexually active now, which it sounds like she is, it is her responsibility to put herself on birth control and take the precaution, not yours. It is your job to talk to her as to why she should not be sexually active. True, you have so as to what she should do, but you can be an influence on her. I am sure she is aware of STD's and pregnancy, however those things haven't stopped her from doing it, so let the natural consequences of her choices determine her life.

Shelly - posted on 01/29/2009

Keisha,

  Please read Koryns post before you decide to do anything she has great information that we  all need to heed...Please Please Please educate yourself and your daughter on all of the side affects on any contraceptive you choose to put her on...I wold hate for something to creep upin here adulthood that could of been prevented as a child..Go into plan parent hood with plenty of questions and don't let them gloss over the side affects!!!  Good Luck and God Bless

Dawn - posted on 01/25/2009

Oh and the MAJOR thing I told my daughter was to make sure everytime they had sex the boyfriend wears a condom!!! Buy those for her as well! I told her some sexually transmitted diseases can render you infertile later in life, you can die from some, some never go away, others can affect your baby....and much more, but I'm sure you know this.

Dawn - posted on 01/25/2009

I had a very frank conversation with my daughter. I told her my expectations about sex and teenage pregnancy. She went on the pill at 15 and has short non-painful periods, clear skin, and remained pregnancy-free throughout high school. i CONSIDER THAT A MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMNET. She lives away at college now, but every month I receive the bill for the pill. I'm OK with that-WAY better than a diaper and formula bill!!!

Tammy - posted on 01/25/2009

ummm just curious but no one seems to have mentioned that the pill can be affected by alcohol, drugs (presciption included), sickness and even lack of sleep among other things pls remember to tell your daughters this and make sure they understand :)

The other thing is that i went with the implanon for 2 years before having my second son and it was great. it wasnt overly expensive and a once off fee, you dont have to worry about remembering to take a pill isnt affected by the above factors and a bonus for me was that i didnt get my period fr two years which my doctor said was actually good for me :) i hope this helps

Keisha - posted on 01/24/2009

michelle the shot is every 3 months. but I have heard of it.. I think we will try the patch first.. and if shes not remembering it then the shot.. thanks for all of your advice....

Keisha - posted on 01/24/2009

Chaka, im glad u found out and now u can make sure you educate her on protection against disease and pregnancy..im sure u were disappointed as I would be too.. but take the time to teach her and be there for her.... big hugs to u!

We do our best to make sure our teens dont have sex. We believe in God, we go to church but that doesnt mean she will wait until she's married. I hope and pray she does... People always say you will know when your teen do it and thats not possible to always know. They sneak and it only take a minute or two to do it....

Chaka - posted on 01/24/2009

Kerri, I think it's beautiful that your daughter has chosen the moral high road. Unfortunately, too many teenagers are not making the same decision. My daughter is 14 and I just found out that she has become sexually active in the last few weeks. I am disappointed, but I also know as a parent it is my job to inform and protect her to the best of my ability.

Kerri - posted on 01/24/2009

Not to offend any one, everyone has their own beliefs and what they want to do. But I don't believe in pre-marital sex and so I made a promise to myself that I would not engage in sex until I was married. That was very important to me. My daughter feels the same way. We talk all the time about not putting yourself in situations where you would be tempted to have sex if that is not something you want to do. Dating people with the same moral values as you have is the first place you start. It doesn't seem that hard of a thing to do.